it's harder holding on than letting go

that's what i found out today.
letting go is just an excuse for every pain you felt, holding on, that's courage to hold on to hope.
on the way to work, i was listening to the radio on the bus.
98.7fm - > i was greatly influenced by cy to listen to english radio stations.
i blame her for my addiction now.

anyway, dy were talking abt the songs that were the moment of your life.
when you were heartbroken, depressed, lost in life...
then suddenly, a song came up.
you can relate so much of your life to the songs!

well, over the years, i'm sure many of us who listen to music often get this kind of sensation.
~oh my god.. i still miss her so much after the breakup... - aftermath of break-up
somehow the background music will be playing "i will rmb you, you will rmb me..."
~haiz... why she doesn't love me... - unrequited love/crush
"he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar, the only reason ... "
~oh shitz, she has a BF! WTF? - love, but waiting
"can't help but wait, till you see, that with me it ain't the same..."
~ah... we quarrelled again.. should we just forget the whole relationship thing - inner conflicts
"hate how much i need you... and i hate how much i love you boy, i just can't let you go"
i just have to add in this one.
~that bitch dumped me! T_T why like that?
"this is the way you left me, i'm not pretending. no hate no love no glory, no happy ending..."

no matter what, once you feel hurt, the song will somehow relate.
i have a thinking some years ago when i felt the pain. the first time i felt the pain.
i guess the rest before was more of jealousy than anything else. haha...
well, once you're sad, you will try to relate to something else, and music is perhaps the most convenient source around. hmm... or maybe your friends, family, blogging. something to release that inner hurt you're feeling. keep it all inside, you will go crazy. i rmbed i was so sure of being able to contain the pain until i went crazy over computer games.

everyone knows what's being sad and depress is all about. somehow, when listening to sad songs, you will listen to the lyrics more, and relate them to yourself. the whole story of the song can be entirely out of point in your life, but if you ca find just 1 or 2 sentences in the lyrics that can relate to your sad past, you will feel, well, sad. definitely any love songs will do. even happy ones reminds you of the happy past, which makes you sad becuz it has passED.

sadness links the whole world. don't you agree on this? who cares abt the queen's bday? the jamaican runner broke the 100m sprints! woohoo~! no shitz, a thumb-sized 100GB thumbdrive! although i think a hell lot of ppl will be interested in the thumbdrive lah, but my point is...
sadness, depression, all these emotions are felt worldwide. look at 9/11. look at wars. hmm.. maybe it's becuz of the media coverage. i think this pov is too extreme liao. haha... and with little evidence.

recently, over the various radio stations, carlsberg has been giving away cash for ppl who called in. first it was 68, now it's 88. having a party on cny eve also. good way to earn money eh? just sit at home all and keep calling. it's not a daily thingy, it's like several times per day! so if it's like min 68... you're getting like 2040 a month! excluding the phone charges.

all i can think of on cny eve is asking her out to the bridge, and see the sparks and gleams when the clock strike midnight. well i done it before, but with another one. i rmbed that was not on the bridge. too late i think. i think i was late. hahaha... but it's a great feeling, to watch a beautiful show with someone you love. a better sensation would be both of you are together. best of all, you're in each other arms welcoming the new year, hoping this year will be like the last, or will improve, or just stay like that, hugging the person till next year comes along.

i have a crave for fireworks. it's too beautiful to miss.

don't think she will agree.
it irks me to think that becuz i'm not that someone special, that's why she doesnt want to go.
if i have feelings for someone, i will do whatever i can to spend more time with her. so inferring from her ever rejects of me asking her out, i'm like an idiot who has one-sided thoughts. even special occasions also rather go out with someone else. i bet valentine is just another dumb day to ask. oh well... i mean, take a chance right?

is it kinda sad for a person to only celebrate valentine once in his 20 years of life? haha... but there was once i spent it in Mac, studying. -_- and the one last year was kinda stupid also. the stupid part was on me. does every man goes around buying flowers on valentine for their loved? i wonder. the flowers just doesn't appeal to me. now the horoscope is wrong lah, this scorpio ain't near anything to romance. yes, i agreed the others are kinda true. i laughed at the romance part. although i felt that the jealousy part was an understatement. i'm full of it, wanna taste a sample?