Tuesday, November 30, 2010

爱情要的是感觉,不是时间..

爱一个人的时候,你就知道你会原意对他付出了,

你的付出他不一定看得见,或许是因为你伪装了,

因为你怕他知道,因为你怕他拒绝,

因为你怕最终连朋友也不是,你的顾虑很多很多...



要知道一个人爱不爱你,其实自己的心底也有底,

或许每个人的性格都不一样,但爱上一个人的时候,

每个人会做的事情其实都差不多,

因为爱上的时候,每个人都有着那么一点点的傻,

傻傻的为一个人付出...



爱上一个人的最初,那个人会假装不在意,

怕被比人误会自己爱他,虽然自己心中真的爱他,

听见他的名字你会有点不自在,会有点心虚,

感觉好像别人都知道你已经爱上了他,

想听见更多他的消息,却还是把话题给移开了...



然后,你会等待,你会想要他陪你,

这时候的你会变得很脆弱,很需要人关心,

但你知道,其实你要的只是他一个人的关心,

在别人的面前,你始终还是那一个坚强的你,

可在他的面前,你却是异常的脆弱,想要他注意你,

想要让他走到你心里的世界里,让他明白你...



所以,你总会有着许多的藉口去找他,

其实你知道想要了解他多一点点,

同时你也希望他能多了解你一点点,

然后你每天短信他,每天和他聊天,

可你却又不敢一直找他,怕他觉得你烦,

你只希望,他习惯了身边有你的存在...



你希望什么事情,他第一个告诉的人是你,

你希望他伤心时,在他身边的那个人是你,

你希望他开心时,愿意分享的那个人是你,

你希望他习惯你,你希望他会因此爱上你...



然后,你们每天都聊天,一聊起来就不会停了,

他说你是最了解他的人,你以为他爱上你了,

他说不知道为什么和你那么好,你以为他爱上你了,

你不敢向他说出你的心底话,但你知道他对你有感觉,

于是你试探,问他对你是什么样的感觉,

你问他觉得你是什么样的一个人,

你问他喜欢什么样类型的人,

因为你希望,他回答的那个类型的人和你很像...



当你确定他对你也有感觉时,你会暗示他你爱她,

如果他表现得异常的回避,你就不敢再问些什么了,

可你还是希望他能爱你,你希望你们的感情还很好,

最终,你选择了等待,你觉得这样才不会破坏彼此的感情...



但你不知道,一个人若是爱着另一个人,

他不会要你等待,他会主动向你示好,就算他很胆小,

他会暗示你什么,他对你会很不一样,就算他在伪装,

他不需要你追求,他也不会来追求你,因为他在等你...



爱情本来就不是追求的过程,而是在两情相悦的情况下,

他对你有意思,你刚好也爱着他,于是两个人走在一起,

若是他不爱你,就算你为他死也不能让他爱你,要是他爱着你,

只要你的一句话他就为你而活...



爱情,需要的是感觉,不是时间,

时间再久也不能让一不爱你的人爱上你,

一个人,若是让你等了很久很久,

那你该知道,他的心中根本就没有你,

若是有你,他也会想要和你在一起...

- From Facebook

funny quote

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Monday, November 29, 2010

宁缺毋滥,绝不因为寂寞而恋爱.

不想因为寂寞,而找个人来恋爱。
但是,怎么知道是纯粹的孤独,让我想接近她?
还是因为她已在我心中,留下深刻的印象?

看着她的照片,我陶醉在她的微笑里。
是变态,还是傻瓜
我自己都分不清

只知道
要是能多了解她
就好了。

random phrases

哦。。。
不过是分手
我还没脆弱到需要你来陪我

哦。。。
不过是分手
这是每个人都会经历的痛

Sunday, November 28, 2010

betrayal

one thing i don't understand, perhaps ever, is betrayal.

how tempting is it to betray the one you love?

why is it you have to betray the one you love?

is it the thrill of hiding it from the one you love?

or is it becuz there's more than 'the one'?

Saturday, November 27, 2010

something i wrote

我不会笑
也别逼我笑
因为笑的人
是幸福的

我不会哭
也别逼我哭
因为哭的泪
隐藏不住

我不想爱
也别让我爱
因为爱过了
会变成恨

我不想恨
也别逼我恨
因为恨不消
情,也难了。

Thursday, November 25, 2010

morning idiot

have been sleeping better. at least now i go to sleep without a headache bugging me.
still feeling rather aimless~ ha.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

有些人假裝堅強, 卻是真の很愛你..

有一些人
貌似很花心、其实很专一
貌似很坚强、其实比谁都要脆弱
貌似很开心、可是笑容背后的哀伤谁又能懂...

其实很多时候
这一类人都是在自我折磨
明明很爱很爱对方
却宁愿心痛的死掉
也选择任眼泪随意放肆...

其实很多时候
这一类人很好懂
他们很害怕孤单
因为一个人的时候
他们会胡思乱想
他们会想起那个没有结局的故事
会想起那个模糊却又清晰的脸庞

因为一个人的时候
他们会觉得很没安全感
他们的要求总是那么的低
只要爱着的那个人陪着他们就好...

其实很多时候
这一类人都很敏感
都很容易猜疑
一个眼神、一个动作
都会让他们神经兮兮一整天
所以不要让他们恐慌
不要让他们伤心

其实很多时候
这一类人都在感伤
不是他们多愁善感
只是容易触景生情罢了
他们喜欢用文字来刻写他们的心情
这也是他们的一种寄托方式...

其实很多时候
这一类人都处在矛盾之中
是继续还是暂停?
是放弃还是坚持?
看似感性的他们
却往往于最后
总是让理性驾驭整个思维...

其实很多时候
这一类人总是活在过去
他们总是不经意地在现在的生活中找一些似曾相识的感觉
虽然他们自我约定要忘记过去
可是他们忘了
过去早以在脑海根深蒂固...

其实很多时候
这一类人害怕看见别人的甜蜜
不是嫉妒
只是会觉得和以前的自己好像
然后会陷入整个回忆
待过往的疼痛唤醒自己的意识
再一个人慢慢舔舐自己的伤口...

其实很多时候
这一类人都很执著
有时候不明白他们在坚持着什么
他们是在期待那个没有结局的故事的结局还是在等待更大的伤害
他们就是傻

这一类人
脾气太臭、不仅任性、而且敏感多疑
所以请用真心对待他们
因为他们的心脆得很
伤不起..

believe

what if i believe everything that i do now, will lead to a better future? a better opportunity?

perhaps, to you?

天意?

was actually thinking of adding her back to my messenger list.
it got lost during the last time when i got attacked by a stupid virus that wiped out all my contacts.
before i could finish typing her email address, msn signed out by itself.

i see that as 天意. hahaha...
so, i didn't add.

sometimes, there's this unknown force that ppl believes arranges the happenings in our lives. different religions, yet similar in beliefs. just that it diverges out.

i too, like to believe that someone, somewhere, is actually handling all these events. who will we meet? when will opportunities come?

but i also would like to believe that this someone, is only incharge of these things only. whether something would succeed, would very much depends on oneself.

if such a person, or a being really exist, i think he/she is so busy managing these 'chances', that he/she won't even have a life of his/her own. haha..

as i read more external books, together with my psych texts, it becomes more and more obvious that humans have the tendency to see things in a much simpler way. we refused, or perhaps, don't possess the skills to look beyond certain things. at least most of us in most of the things. like the happenings around us that we attribute to the unknown force, like the apparent truth that is only a by-product of the real deal... like so many other things, that we have failed to look deeper, search harder. satisfied with just a simple explanation, or, with even searching for a simpler one. things ain't usually simple, if anyone has ever realized. they just ain't. the real life isn't like the problem sums that you spent hours on doing when you're in school, it's just so many things/factors to look at.

when the truth is just the apparent truth, would you search for the truth or just be satisfied with the obvious?

angry

i got pretty pissed with myself when i couldn't catch up on my korean class. can't understand what my tutor was saying.

felt even more irritated when i realized i've got a lot to catch up on for other modules too.

the emotion lasted the whole afternoon and i got so restless, i went to throw the blood donation stress heart-shaped balls at the wall to let off some steam.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

reason

i feel like i'm slowly losing my reason to strive.
excellence is no longer a primary goal.
it probably has never been.

it was always someone by my side.

but now, who is.

and now, where can i find someone again.

just now, i lost my heart.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

我不是偉人



分手了,就别当朋友吧。

我想我不够爱你



beautiful song.
sentiments of my past alike.
i laugh at my foolishness in which i can't erased from memories.

feel like zZzZz...

had little sleep for the night, while worrying about my paper due tml.
wrote little on my paper last night, while trying to resist the temptation of sleeping.

Monday, November 15, 2010

mum's injured

mum told me she got injured during the day while moving around in the house. now she got a big swelling on her right leg, seemed kinda serious. couldn't get an appointment today with the sinseh, only tml's evening. haiz.. if i've stayed home today, might not have happened since i can help out a bit on taking care of the 2 kids. pains me to see her limp around the house. don't know how she's gonna take care of the 2 kids tml when the whole family not around.

pains me to see her limp around. perhaps that's how she felt everytime i got injured also. haiz... dad brought up the issue of giving up one of the kids. i agreed too. it's becoming too tedious for mum to take care of a baby and a toddler.

was planning to stay late in sch tml to do up my report, maybe should come home early. btw, my report is only 1/8 done. haha.. so slow. i spent the whole day in the library doing only that few paragraphs. wtheck loh.

different field, different purity



kinda described about how my interests evolved over time since the start of my schooling 'career'. maths was my favourite, still is actually. but was the only subject i love in primary sch. when i got to sec, the only thing that relates most to maths was physics. i did pretty well, perhaps that's why i came to like it. through the theories of physics, i began to get more interested in the chemistry of elements. biology... hmm... might have been more interested if i took it during jc. but it got interesting when i entered college to major in psychology. sociology next? haha..

break up?

seriously, i don't know how i almost always associate the negative emotions of others with relationship problems.

but thru observations, i can only conclude that much without asking. don't feel like asking too, since we're not that close anyway. but if there's actually anything, she's a strong and cheerful girl, will take care of herself i believe.

"and thus we are friends"

today's the first day i skipped class for this sem. went to the woodlands lib to focuz on my DID report. was hoping to find relevant books on the disorder but no... the lib doesn't have such specific topics. i wished i was in sch without the travelling. haiz...

2 main controversy on DID that i found out which is quite interesting. whether is it a split personality or just an alter of consciousness, and whether is it on a continuum or there exists a significant difference btw the pathological and non-pathological dissociation.

in other words, is daydreaming, though non-pathological, significantly different from sybil's assumed condition of DID? blah blah blah.. i think i phrased it wrongly. but, wtheck, my mind is filled with all kinds of information that i want to write in my report but just don't know where and how to start.

library's a great place to study. just too cold. i wonder if there's a open area library, on high grounds with cool breeze all day, or by the beach with the sea breeze blowing and hot babes in bikinis suntanning while studying biology in which i can use the excuse of observing anatomy while eyeing them.

not making sense here. go go report-writing.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

drained out

i'm feeling pretty drained out from finishing '1 litre of tears' again, with the special episode. and i just wasted the whole day not doing my report again, which i've not even started anything, even reading or finding research to read. haiz.

1 litre of tears (Episode 9)

她的话,让你无言以对吗?

it was a great scene towards the end of the episode. the confession was touching. the determination of the sis too.

something that made me laughed

was reading up on sgforums and came across this post by someone who was confused by a female friend's action. they are very good friends at the moment, even though he was rejected once by her.

anyway, what's funny was that one of the sgforumers commented that there's no harm checking with her another time on the matter. 'like refreshing webpage liddat.' haha.. didn't really thought of that before.

Friday, November 12, 2010

1 litre of tears (continued...)

didn't want to do anything this evening, so decided to continue on my second time of watching 1 litre of tears. it doesn't matter if one knows the story ahead, or perhaps watched the drama a hundred times. i believe, you will still be touched by the scenes, the story, the character, the courage of that teenage girl.

there was a scene i particularly liked. the guy was wheeling the girl along the bridge where they first met. it was after a cruel discussion of how the girl's condition is badly affecting the class and she happened to overhear it. in despair, the guy broke down saying that he wasn't able to do anything for her. she thanked him for always staying by her side. in the midst of the sudden snow flakes, she wheeled herself away. when the guy saw this, he quickly went over to hold and handles and wanted to help her push. in a quick yet painful response, she said, 'byebye'. this causes the guy to feel even worse.

i like this scene becuz it shows the determination of the girl and also protrays fully the helplessness that the guy felt. the last 'byebye' was a sign that she didn't want the guy to help her, anymore. for she felt, she has troubled her friends enough already, and it was time for her to be more independent.

i don't think i will ever get tired to watching this drama.

ya kun for dinner -_-

sis smsed me and told me mum didn't cook. she has been sick for the past few days, quite glad that she didn't tire herself out by cooking, although she made the effort of frying the bacon i bought which i'm too lazy to do anything with and some eggs in the morning for breakfast becuz i mentioned i want to eat something for breakfast. haha.. my parents, they don't say 'i care for you'. they just simply do it. 부모님자 사랑해요.

i think i'm better with my korean than jap now. i've quite forgotten all the relevant particles for jap.

anyway, i didn't know what to eat. was strolling around the basement of the damn causeway point with most of its fast food down for renovation... wasn't in the mood of anything, so i just ate ya kun butter sugar set. i was feeling fine until now, i'm hungry.

sometimes, even more so as a psychology major, i have the extreme urge of correcting ppl when they're wrong about certain things. like when one of my friends commented that the article on bilingualism delaying alzheimer's was wrong becuz of her own observation. since i don't have much chance to speak to her, i'll just rant my desire here.

the research may be flawed, but her statement was more so.
first of all, the article mentioned that it delays, nothing more. her observation was that of alzheimer's patients being multi-lingual. doesn't really links cuz how you know these patients didn't have a later onset than those mono-lingual?
second, it was a personal observation. to me, when i know how much effort is put into a research, i think the data would overwrite any personal observation.

alright. done.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

daytime parahypnagogia (DPH)

i've been having this the whole day long. defined by wiki as... "spontaneous intrusion of a flash image or dreamlike thought or insight into one's waking consciousness".

thought i was being hardworking by waking up early and sleeping late. quite wrong, i was dozing off during the bio lecture. -_-

so this daytime parahypnagogia are those mini-dreams i have when i'm dozing off. some are quite interesting. but it kinda got awakard when i suddenly had the image of kissing her when i dozed off in the train. it was french-kissing by the way.

lots of deadlines coming~

Monday, November 8, 2010

thinking about lyrics in the bathroom

as usual, i like to think about lyrics to sing along in the bathroom and perhaps annoying my neighbours while they're shitting in the process.

and... i forgot what the few lines are already. damn.

你曾经给的爱情 已收回去
我们曾经有过的幸福 已经变成回忆

it's something along those 2 lines.
hmm.. but i think i got the melody wrong.
it's different from the one in the bathroom somehow.
it's better.

korean essay gogogo~!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

life

there's a lot of things in life which you can't simply observe and then say you understand. you don't. these things can't be understood by merely standing by the side and looking at what or how the things are. you simply can't. the only way to fully appreciate it is to go through it yourself. then through your own eyes, your own thoughts, your own feelings, do you feel what it's like.

~thoughts from 1リットルの涙

tears

have been getting teary eyes for the past 5 hours, crying occasionally becuz i just couldn't hold it in. even my heart aches badly.

~1リットルの涙

monopoly deal

2 straight nights of monopoly deal till 3+ in the morning.
it's tiring.

i'm still trying to start my momentum of doing my projects and assignments.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

【男人必看】大部分男生都是这样失去女朋友的

追求的时候当人家是宝,永远保持着最好的一面...

刚到手的时候疼人家到骨子里去,每天给她打十几个电话,发几十条信息,她说什么你都铭记在心, 想吃什么、想买什么、想去哪里你都会尽全力去满足,温柔体贴无微不至,巴不得二十四个小时都能跟她呆在一起;一开始总是包容的,就算她的生活习惯与你不同 也会努力的调试配合,一切一切都是美好的...



久了,腻了!每天别说几十个电话,就连1个电话都懒得打,打电话时只说具体情况,把那些觉得无关要紧的“情趣”话都省了;信息就更不用说了,她发10条你回有一半你就觉得你回的已经够多了,就连她打电话给你你都觉得她啰嗦!



你不会再为她想吃早点而早早起床,你不会再为她排队买她想要东西,你不会专门请假带她去她想去的地方,你会觉得她什么事都依赖着你,让你觉得她麻烦事特多!



接着你会发现她的缺点越来越多,她的优点快被她的缺点掩盖,你快忍无可忍!

最后,厌了!潇洒的用“分手吧!”一句简单的言语结束了复杂的感情;或耗着等着,直到有一天她受不了忽冷忽热或若即若离的态度自己选择离开,你还可以说是她自己离你而去,你没有负心...



男人,你记不记得你曾经说过:“我永远都会对你这么好,一辈子都这样爱着你宠着你!”

不是她麻烦事特多,是你一开始就说得做得太到位,才会让她依赖上你!

你记不记得你曾经说过:“不管多晚,睡不着都可以打电话给我,我的手机24小时都为你开机!”

那你又嫌她不体贴,白天工作的时候打电话打扰到你,辛苦了一天晚上要睡觉了她还缠着你不肯挂线。

是谁让她养成何时何地想打电话给你就打电话给你的习惯?



她无理取闹那是因为从某一个时间段你的态度变了,你开始冷落她了;让她觉得没了安全感,由使她起疑心!不是她不信任你,不给你空间,而是她爱你,在乎你,用尽所有时间去关心你,你的生活细微改变都牵扯着她的情绪!



她脾气不好那是因为她有很多时候知道了很多事情,但你不说,她都选择沉默,在一直沉默;积压到一定的时间她们就会爆发心中的所有怨气;要知道,这一些都不是她脾气不好,是你不够细心发觉,她们是一直积压下来的!



她不再跟以前一样动人当初是谁说不喜欢她每天变化多端像只花蝴蝶,是谁说喜欢她素颜的清纯模样?

虽说喜新厌旧是人性,除了毛主席跟古董以外,什么东西看久了都会审美疲劳;但她不是东西,她是个活生生有着感情的人!

你不再给她答案,不再给她承诺,不希望你以后做不到让这些答案跟承诺变成谎言那你以前又给她那么多答案,给她那么多承诺,现在为自己铺好后路可以前承诺过的叫她怎么忘记?



女人不怕诺言没实现,怕的是你承诺了又不去实现,最后实不实现是另一个问题!

你忙,你没时间没精力讨好她,你不知道她现在在想什么?

那你以前不忙吗?你以前是不是就把全部时间用来讨好她而不用工作?

那你以前怎么都那么细心观察她在想什么?



你觉得你们不配,你不想她再浪费感情在这段没结果的爱情上

那你一开始追她干嘛?做实验啊?她都已经浪费这么多感情了,你当感情是水龙头啊,说开就开说关就关!

对,这一切都是你给自己找的借口!

别以为换个女朋友就可以永远摆脱那种感情暗淡时期,因为不久的将来你还是得回到这种时光,下个女朋友也是,下下个女朋友也是,下下下个女朋友也是,有种你一辈子不谈恋爱不结婚...



男人们,看完了回想一下你们的那段美好时光,趁现在没有人偷偷想想是不是你们给自己找借口了?

那个以前深爱的女人现在就那么不值得你爱了么?别说你瞎了狗眼以前才会跟她在一起,因为你没瞎,也请不要侮辱到狗!

后悔分手的赶快努力从新追回来,以后用心经营着共有的感情!



其实女人要的很简单,只想要一个爱自己男人就够了...



想要分手的考虑清楚,并不是每段感情都可以挽回的!

考虑太久也不行,因为她们可以忍耐你冷落她一段时间,但不会一辈子傻下去;她们再怎么傻,也会给自己一个 时间段,去忍受你的冷落,去相信你的爱;但时间一到,她们会毫不犹豫的离开,到那时再多的甜言蜜语都没有用了,因为这世界上没有谁离开谁就活不了!

恋爱中的,好好珍惜现在那个愿意照顾你,体谅你,愿意陪你承担风雨的傻女人吧!

过了这个村,或许就没这个店了...



到时间结婚的就结婚吧,不要再拖拖拉拉婆婆妈妈;结婚证一领就像买了保险,至少心里都有底了...

爱情,就像煮粥!滚烫的时候加点配料它就是够火候又有滋有味的;等到忘记关火煮焦了的时候,你闻都不想闻它甚至你连锅都想把它扔了...

看好你的火吧..

男人们,看完了回想一下你们的那段美好时光..

那个以前深爱的女人.. ^^

saw this sharing from fb, thought i'll just note it down somewhere.
got me wondering, 是她负我,还是我负她?

anyway, the last 2 days i met some sec school mates on the train when i was going back home. w.sheng and c.xiang. chatted on the way back, nice conversations i should say. and it's always make the ride home more pleasant than usual.

well, there's no strike 3, didn't meet anyone on the train today. one of the reason i think travelling on public transport is better than car. other than the rare chances of seeing ppl you know, you get to see other interesting things also.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

happy birthday you

well, i'm 23rd.
cut my hair yesterday, no longer a need to comb my hair. nice.

a belated happy birthday to nik, who's still going thru a tough time doing project.
an early happy birthday to h.ying, who was the first to wish me. same as last year.

poh once told me what does it matter if my birthday is just adjacent to others, it's not like it's the same or matter to the others.

but i just found it comforting, very comforting in fact, that someone, would alway remember my birthday.

i don't require a huge party to celebrate. or rather, i hate huge party. as long as you remember it, i already feel blessed. and this seemed like it's not gonna change.

got the one and only birthday present, from my dear dad.
he came into the room without me realizing becuz i was so engrossed in playing my hitting-arrows-along-with-the-beat-of-the-melody game and handed me a red packet, with wishes from him. =)

our family is a very special family. we like to keep things to ourselves. we like to do things behind each others' back and don't tell them until they ask. not bad things, it's always good things. and somethings when that person don't appreciate it, he/she won't hold back the displease, but still shows appreciation.

we hardly ever say thank you or sorry, except for trivial stuffs like helping to buy dinner, move stuffs, etc etc. i don't really know what's the situation in other typical asian, chinese families, but it's happening strangely in mine. i grew up with that particular period of memory that i refused to say sorry to my mum becuz of some stupid argument, and she decided until then she won't even care about my well-being. true enough, she only cooked for me. i had to do everything else myself. washing was a tiring part of that. after 1 week of tiring myself out becuz of a little ego at the young age of 12, i wrote a note saying... "妈,对不起。力勤” or was it “...儿上”. after that, everything went back to normal.

so when my dad came with the hongbao, i didn't say anything. i choked. maybe it's the trait that runs in my family. when we want to say sincere words, especially when it's very truthful and to a closed/loved ones, we choked. or is it because we think that becuz we're so close, there's no need for thanks and sorry. we empathsize, we understand.

i'm just using this as an excuse the next time i choked on my words when confessing my feelings. haha.. may the future/next girl that i fancy read this and empathsize my shortcoming. can we just get together without saying a word abt it? can we get married without having a proposal?

becuz words are overrated for me.
people have better chances understanding by at looking at my eyes.

someone's birthday on 13th nov, i can't rmb who. but at least i know it's a girl. haha.. i'm particular sensitive/receptive to females borned in the month of nov, or being scorpios. interesting. i always believed part of the horoscopic descriptions and analysis, even though science can't prove it. it's something like... science can't prove the existence of gods, yet many still choose to believe. well, i believe i'm a sneaky scorpion with a poisonous sting hanging in midway to strike my foes, hiding the dark and observing my preys, creep up and scare the hell out of them, watch them scramble with the 'ahh~~!!!' look on their face, catch up to them, and eat them.

too dark? hmm.. maybe i'll just be the phoenix. die, rebirth. die again, rebirth. so much fun. i can tell other birds how they will feel when they are dying, but will never live again to tell the tale.

often i get frightened on the thoughts of myself dying, stop breathing. i just convinced myself it's just like a permanent blackout. so probably the last thought is gonna be something like... "it's so hard to breathe. oh, i think i'm dy....". yup. and i have a weird idea to ask ppl to partake in an experiment to see what do you feel when you're dying. when they say gone in peace, is it realy peaceful? but dead man can't talk, so i planned to ask them to memorise a set of rules for different feelings. like 1 is pain, 2 is very pain, 3 is just let me die. fingers ought to show it.

the reason that i keep babbling on is that i'm reluctant to return to my presentation due on thursday. oh, and i just realized i'm left with 30min of my birthday. so, birthday resolutions. haha..

23rd birthday resolutions:
1) smile when i see pretty girls instead of just staring at them/breasts
2) read up on pseudopsycho therapies (someday i'm gonna learn how to hypnotize vulnerable girls and ask them to say i'm cute or something)
3) less self-centered, becuz i always realize my words/actions are so self-centered
4) travel~! at least to 1 country alone, or with someone. i don't mind a female. or, i prefer a female. haha.. it just sad to pay the entire cab fare by yourself. yet, i don't wanna travel in a big pack. 2 is enough. i'll bring the condoms tan bought for me eons ago, just in case.
5) facial care. something has to be done with my face condition, something serious.
6) dental care! my teeth is straight, yet slightly and turning more yellowish. i remembered the air force dentist telling me that i've got 2 holes to fill and told me to visit after i'm bcak from AGC. after i failed AGC, i just hecked. it's been... 3 years. haha.. wtheck.
7) thoughts-writing. did i mention this before? i plan to carry a small notebook with a small pencil and write down my small random thoughts on the streets with my small handwriting. i realized a lot of good thoughts just come and go. some interesting ones too. and some, are inspirations for chinese lyrics, or phrase. some, are just to note things like... "i think i can see that girl's nipple showing. maybe the mrt aircon's too cold"
8) terrapin tank. dear wu gui has been with me for over 9 years now. a birthday gift from a few of the female classmates back then. it's been too long since i wanted to change a new, bigger and more interesting tank for wu gui.
9) dartboard reorganization. with so many holes on my wall, i can't bear to poke a few more with my lousy throwing. going to fix something this holidays.
10) $ - ppl have all sorts of names of money, like moola, which i found quite irritating. but anyway, hopefully i can save up some money and have a positive gain in my bank account. it has been going down very fast since the start of the sem.

i'm tired of writing already. i think i'm ready to face my presentation slides again.