not good

i keep getting hungry while studying.
and i'm kinda lazy to cook maggie mee.
spend 15min to cook and within 1min eat finish. sianz.
4 more days, 2 more papers, 5 more hours of examination.

wed, come faster leh.
mon, don't come so fast.

i'm still having the "if time can go back to the start of sem... " feeling.

i should start doing some exercise soon.
the shorts that don't used to fit, seemed to fit now.
besides, since my ippt failed, gotta work on it for rt.
maybe swimming.
does playing darts exercise body? i wonder.

still hungry.

addiction

i have gotta put my addiction off till the end of the 2 papers.
i just spent the whole morn watching friendz. haha...
it's hard to resist the temptation to watch a group of 6 close friends.
back to work. 2 more to go.

i've got a few things planned this coming sem break.
one of which is just staying at home and laughing my time away.

friendz

watched some videos on friendz to relax and laugh my night away.
favourite line of the night:

Joey: "You broke me heart. You know how many women I have to sleep with to get over you?"

some friends you will never let go.

男女之間

黃舒駿 - 男女之間

女人最怕男人是一堆沙豬　男人最怕女人腦袋像漿糊
女人通常都是感情的動物　男人大半都是生活的侏儒
女人可以愛到義無反顧　男人只能愛到相當程度
女人失戀容易另尋出路　男人失戀可就萬劫不復
男女之間永遠說不清楚　互相厭惡又互相追逐
彼此可以找出千萬個錯誤　卻是五十步笑百步
女人對愛要求需索無度　男人總是顯得馬馬虎虎
女人好不容易決定開始　男人卻好像剛要結束

女人的淚可以融化冰雪　男人的哭卻是山崩地裂
女人的堅強是金石不變　男人的溫柔是滄海一粟
女人的胸前是男人的家　男人的肩膀是女人的床
女人希望男人像一棵大樹　男人渴望的是精神支柱
男女之間永遠說不清楚　互相厭惡又互相追逐
彼此可以找出千萬個錯誤　卻是五十步笑百步
女人說謊保證是天衣無縫　男人說謊終究是百密一疏
女人懂得演戲是一種天賦　男人永遠敗在經驗不足

男女之間永遠說不清楚　互相厭惡又互相追逐
彼此可以找出千萬個錯誤　卻是五十步笑百步
女人認為愛情是一種付出　男人總是把它當作一種征服
女人好不容易決定開始　男人卻好像剛要結束
女人好不容易決定開始　男人卻好像剛要結束

a nice song on gender differences.

jap 3

on the way home was trying to get some sleep after jap exam.
didn't really work out.
instead my brain spotted 3 mistakes in the jap paper.
i would say my best bet for my 2 papers so far is only B+.
haha... how am i going to push for 4.5 sia.
now i'm making a promise to myself that next sem, i will do regular studying.
just like what i did on year 1 sem 2, and year 1 sem 1. ha.

a promise is a promise.
keeping it is another matter.

sianzed

stupid abnormal. it goes to show how little i rmbed for my essays.
3 essays in total, account for more than half the paper. if i was the marker, i will fail my essays. haha..

秋风词—李白

秋风词—李白

秋风清，秋月明,
落叶聚还散,寒鸦栖复惊。
相亲相见知何日，此时此夜难为情；

入我相思门，知我相思苦，
长相思兮长相忆，短相思兮无穷极，
早知如此绊人心，何如当初莫相识

天下无双

张靓颖 - 天下无双(电视剧神雕侠侣主题曲)

穿越红尘的悲欢惆怅
和你贴心的流浪
刺透遍野的青山和荒凉
有你的梦伴着花香飞翔
今生因你痴狂此爱天下无双
剑的影子水的波光
只是过往是过往
今生因你痴狂此爱天下无双
啊.....
如果还有贴心的流浪
枯萎了容颜难以忘
难遗忘……

the key is damn high for this song.
i tried singing with my fake voice, and still can't reach. haha.. so much for no singing talent.

因为

因为是你 触碰我的心
只能在梦里 与妳相遇
多么委屈

想靠近妳 控制不住自己
从没有停息 我的心里
全都是妳

recently i've been coming up with all kinds of lyrics for melody that just appear in my head. not sure if this melody was from somewhere that i've heard or i've created it, or perhaps not from nothingness but bits and pieces from different songs.

more often than not, i forgot them after creation. so i thought it's good to pen them down. haha.. as for the melody, i recorded myself singing. hmm.. perhaps someday after exams i might add on to this. quite a nice phrase i think.

holding back

got reminded of a korean show/jap song video on youtube.
went to search for it.
can't help it, i watched the whole 90 min show and spend the whole morning on it.
haha..

My Girl and I
it's a sad love story.
there's a jap version of it, i'm not sure which is the remake,
but i prefer the korean version.
perhaps there's something attractive abt a language that i don't comprehend.
perhaps becuz the guy is not that attractive, but the girl is.
perhaps i might like the jap version better if i saw the whole movie of it.

the song of the video was 行かないで ikanaide
it means don't leave.

held back my tears a little.
eyes were hurting from too much reading, now it's even more.
but well, didn't regret watching.
sometimes, i need a little emotions to get me going.

i don't know if it's approriate to say i like the movie.
it left a deep emotional impact on me. it's touching.
but is that considered liking?
if this happened to a friend, i certainly won't say i like it.

whatever the case, touching. i have no other words available to fit the story.

distracted by youtube

and felt like playing basketball again.

slow revision

my revision is slower than i thought. looks like it's gonna be a rush, and i gotta stop getting distracted by the com.

was thinking about fighting while i was in the kitchen getting some water. so i threw some punches in the air, did some high kicks, and managed somehow to hurt my muscles -_-

i was always marvelled by fighting from a young age. from wong fei hong, actually mainly wong fei hong. haha.. when finally i got to fight in close combat training in army, i realised it's seriously no easy feat to fight for even 5 minutes. the 2nd time was during the advanced course, which i really looked forward to, becuz of the fighting. it was then i realised in a fight, you have to keep your mind level, and not just charge straight ahead like an idiot with a big pillow trying to crush your opponent with it, like what the instructors 'indirectly' tell you to. well basically to pass the course, you just gotta be aggressive, so just shout and charge, pass liao. i decided against the idea and tried to play cool. holding back my blows, hopping around like in a boxing ring, figuring out what he's gonna do next. basically that worked, quite well. i was titled 'best fighter' in that little small training exercise from sparring against other group reps. regardless the insignificant title, the feeling was seriously great. fun, exciting, consequences are clear-cut (he hit me i pain, i hit him he pain). i even managed to dodge some close range blows. i went to see other courses where some of my friends are. one fight i remembered well was my friend vs someone quite weak, and he wasn't the type of aggressive we should see in a soldier. and with a black belt background, he seriously kicked his ass. before that i never really see in reality the true meaning of kicked his ass. that day, i saw a bit of it. one blow and he seriously can't handle, it's like flying off liao. and knowing that your opponent is so much stronger than you, and more skilled than you, and your combat instructor is still asking you to chiong, the guy must be pretty stressed out.

in itself, fighting brings about a deep sense of getting to know yourself more. how you fight in the ring, is probably how you fight against the odds of life.

True - Ryan Cabrera

i won't talk
i won't breathe
i won't move till you finally see that you belong with me
you might think i don't look but deep inside the corner of my mind
i'm attached to you hmmmm...

i'm weak, it's true
cuz i'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cuz my heart keeps falling faster

i've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so i will not hide
it's time to try anything to be with you
all my life i've waited
this is true

you don't know what you do
everytime you walk into the room i'm afraid to move

i'm weak, it's true
i'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you met me?

i've waited my all life to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so i will not hide
it's time to try anything to be with you
all my life i've waited
this is true

i know when i go
i'll be on my way to you the way that's true

i've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so i will not hide
it's time to try anything to be with you
all my life i've waited
this is true

typed the lyrics along with the song.
hmm.. it's a nice song.
people's always uncertain about love
yet they felt the need to brave the dangers
becuz after that line, it's you.

分享

有时候
会觉得自己有些寂寞
快乐的事情，不知该对谁说
不快乐的事情，不知有谁能分担
一个人总是把事情都往心里埋
就算有人问起
我也不一定说真

以前都会有几位谈心的朋友
可以说说自己的欢笑，悲伤
现在，我不清楚
是他们踏出了我的社圈
还是自己的感情 比以前少了一些

最近
只会一天到晚把精神投入书里
看着一天一天就这样过去了
好像有点无趣，无奈
无我
书，是这样读的吗

我想找回自己的人生
回
也不知道是找回，还是找到
以前的人生，是人生吗

自己追求的是什么
事业，兴趣，金钱，爱情
曾有一时得到了爱情
但还是觉得缺了些什么

过了之后，反问自己
那，是爱情吗
怎么爱过之后的感觉
和牵手前的感觉
完全往另一个方向发展
不是还恋着
更不是恨意
之前假装的无所谓
也成了真的无所谓

自己好像有很多话想说
但什么也说不出
每晚睡前见到的
只有影子
幸运的时候
还会有月光照进房里
犹如不时在身边出现的朋友
给自己的一些努力与欣慰
无需言语，无需真情
就这样
陪我入睡。。。

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Fire and Ice, by Robert Frost

screwed up

okay, so i screwed up my jap oral on thurs also.
i would have given myself a B grade for that. kns. haha..
siao liao, i think gotta work hard for final paper in order to secure at least B+.

reading up has been slow for the other modules, still got one more week left, seemed lik so little time for me to finish reading or studying. always like that -_- procrastination.

just sent the card a while ago. hope i got the address right.

somehow, i felt that in this lifetime, my dream is to travel north in march or sept, canada or someplace, where i can see with my own eyes, the true magnificent sight of an aurora. a companion would be nice. haha..

a little unsettled

some personal problems that doesn't go too well with life..
i'm not sure how to solve this kind of things
it puts me in a position where i don't know whether the right way is right
there's so much pressure in me to just leave it aside and hope things will turn out well
like what i did for most of my problems in relationships, hope for the best.
it's not wrong, but it's not right either.
i want to be able to do something about it, get it right, set it straight.
i no longer want excuses to come along and drag my decision away from the comfort zone.

but haiz.. now other than studying i don't really wanna care about other stuffz. 3 more weeks till this is over and i get on to that.

Jap 3 Listening Test

as usual and expected, i screwed up my jap listening test today. have always been the case even for jap 1 & 2. the rest of the class seemed rather confident. i kinda peeked at some for answers. yes, i'm not ethical. i can't just be guessing abcd right? i estimated a 85% of guessing in the paper. seriously, why is my listening so bad? why i can't catch wthell are they talking about? how come others can catch? -_- tmd. i should learn to watch some jap shows or start watching anime again. most of them do. gotta get marks on jap from the thursday oral and the next next tue paper, or else the screwed listening is going to pull my grades down.

rainy day.

今日　雨が　ふることと　風が　ふくことが　ありました。
私は　優しい　風が　すきですから、　雨が　ふって　いて、　がっ校の benchで　寝ました。

i have no idea whether what i wrote is correct or not. haha...

妳

若是妳再散发出
多一点的成熟感
多一点的温柔
多一点的可爱

我可能会忍不住
想再靠近妳多一些

stupid internet

something's wrong with my computer with regards to the internet.
not the connection but the explorer, or firewall, or maybe it's the computer.
gotta get repair uncle to check it out after exams.
perhaps the curse of the computer always going crazy when my exams are near is back again. or is a blessing?

i'm 22. yesterday.
i started my 22nd year of life with well wishes and blessings from friends of all walks of life, and of cuz my family.
my deepest appreciation to lynn who sent her well wishes all the way from uk.
to kris, for her card which i always look forward to.
and also to sharon, who gave me a breakfast treat.
adeline, who came over before the lecture and said happy birthday.
and as alwayz, the guyz.

and yes, i procrastinated my projectz 21 until now, so i deemed it projectz 23. haha. and i'm planning to change the projectz title again next year round. getting too lazy.

only a few more weeks to exams. currently struggling with personality assignment 2 becuz i have no idea what to read. plus jap oral and listening is next week, i'm not even 1/2 prepared. haha...

note to self:
next time ask sis to buy cake. the one she bought yesterday was very nice.

2nd time

fell down during soccer again.
or rather, i made myself fall to block the shot.
same spot on my palm, bleeded quite badly after the fall.
i let the blood coagulated the hardened, so now it's like a red ugly spot on my hand.

like i said before, the cycle repeats.

after the 1st heartbreak, the 2nd one may follow soon after.
you got hurt the same place again.
what to do...
just 忍 and get over it.

i have no idea how is this going heal given that the wound from last week barely healed before i fell again today.

不安

feeling a bit uneasy.
a few things that didn't go well today.
i realised my astro scores weren't full marks.
i didn't go for my ippt this morn, it was raining so heavily, i assume the ippt was cancelled. hence, i have to get ready for RT. never in my life have i viewed myself as a failure in physical abilities. but not anymore in terms of running.

exams coming.
i have lots to read up on.
i don't feel at ease, yet i'm reluctant to touch my text.
i'm worried for my exams.
i don't like this feeling.

anyway, had a birthday dinner with family at np.
nice food, just that the portion of the food was a bit little.
a little on the expensive side, but i'm kinda glad i recommend the right place to dine. family seemed quite satisfied with the food.

w.lynn, thanks for the letter.
deeply appreciated.