the big things come together

work and organising gathering is pressurizing me.
rather big assignment coming up again.

i think she changed partner. oh well.

played darts. better when relax but still focus.

my xmas card got lost i think. saded. that's like 2 letters lost, 14 bucks gone.

results out. jap got b, disappointing although i knew i screwed up oral and listening. astro got A+. 2 electives, and they are the extreme results. knn jap.
cpga dropped, gpa up. sem 1 results still the best, but at least this sem better than sem 2. my statistics is still the most disappointing. mid-term can get 3rd in the module, finals get B+. smlj? final paper was alright, my research paper can't be that bad ba? from a nearly A+ to B+?

1st class honours is slowly but certainly drifting away. i don't know whether to contend with just a 2nd upper or still stress myself to strive for 1st class.
i wonder i still have the passion for psychology, as i have always hold for badminton. why can't i just swing my racket, hit shuttlecocks and live thru my whole life? haha..

gone thru some trouble redoing my puzzle frame. one time i paste the hook upside down, which renders the hook and the pasting thingy useless. haiz.. wasted.

tired. 1/2 day tml. so.. what should i do?

new year eve eh... thinking back, i think it's stupid to stand on the expressway for 3 hrs just to wait for the countdown fireworks. why can't we just walk up just before that? those early small fireworks ain't worth the time.

ever cheated on somebody?

i saw someone's reply to this qns as "who hasn't?"
well, if you meant relationship, what an answer.

it sounds as if you willingly indulge in cheating on your partner.

music & lyrics (2007)

got the movie from vian.
actually wanted to watch it some time ago.
it's my type of movie. a mixture of romance and comedy.
the movie came out in time for vday in 2007, my first vday.
and i forgot why we didn't catch this movie.

well, nice movie, nice song.

nice weather

it was a good morning for soccer with the cool breeze and dark clouds which usually means it's gonna rain but it just drizzled a little.

i believed 5 min of running around is all it takes to get me saying 'i'm tired'.

friday's steamboat.

Xmas

this xmas was without alcohol.
i missed my heartbreak hotel. haha...

2 consecutive meals with sirloin steaks~ don't feel so good eating so much meat, beef. it's time i consider serious and regular exercise.

sent out 3 late xmas cards this time. procrastination.

work's been busy. feel like staying at home and nua.
but then again, my bank's account seemed to be rejecting this idea.

if i wake up at 8+, i'll join the guys to go to church.
if i wake up after, i'll join them after. haha..

Merry Xmas~
how i wish i'm somewhere where it's snowing, breezy... wearing a cosy sweater...

not worth your time

came to my realization quite some time ago.
not sure whether i have penned it down here before.

it just kinda dawn on me, the things they called friendship ain't always alive.
friends lived, and died. not literally, but some will stay in your life, but others will leave.

you can't keep them close forever, and it won't stay stagnant either. so, it drifted far away from you.

some friends, when drifted far away, due to the technology today, still able to contact you when they're spiritually miles away. they complain, talked abt their lives, what's interesting that's happening, what's not. sometimes, they need help, that's why you're contacted.

it just irritates me when these friends don't reciprocate. the way that you're listening to them, and they're not. one-way interaction, communication, relationship.

not worth my time. so, don't bother me.
i maybe passive, give me a little push and i'll be aggressive.

my desperate struggle

nothing feels worse than not being able to let go.
perhaps more ppl can relate to relationships on this.
closer to me, it's darts rather than girls.

on my way to overcome dartitis.
keeping my eyes on the darts really does help ease the throwing, but then can't seem to land where i want the dart to. hmm... tricky. so far the whole team only i have this problem.

i hate the self who is struggling to let go of what i'm holding on to.

is it a psychological barrier? well given that it eases up once i take my eyes off the board, i suppose so. the mind can have such a strong effect, an unwanted one in this case.

some things time just can't erase

met up with my HQ buddies. nice steamboat dinner with waitress in maid costumes.
should have ate more of those thin slices of pork and beef.
s2 came back surprisingly for the holidays.
talked about the past, present, our own happenings...

there are things i can only tell these guys without feeling the need to hold back my words.
that sense of freedom of words is probably what i treasure most.

and a happy 22nd to hl. belated.

drunk

i got drunk from 2 vodka peach neat.
i don't feel so good right now.
i shouldn't have suggested drinking.
tml's going to be a headache morning.

afraid

perhaps not many people will get to have this kind of experience, nor do they want to.
i was in my boss's car when it hit a pedestrian.
happened so quickly, i didn't even see the pedestrian.
smack, hit the side mirror.
lucky the car was slow and it wasn't head-on.
hit a young female. knocked her head on the ground, not sure of any other injuries.
sent to sgh, while we waited for tp.
i went off first becuz need to deliver some stuffz.
didn't how it went, but i think and hope it's nothing serious.

it was a pretty scary sight watching and feeling the car hit a human being.
it brings a fragile feeling, to us, as humans beings, against the machinery we created for our own convience.

ran in the rain.
and now sick.
i'm so weak.

depression

my neighbour recently passed away.
he ended his life, perhaps due to depression.

it's a suffering when it comes to chronic medical illness.
it's a torture when it comes to chronic mental illness.

mental health is as impt as physical.
never neglect your own, nor the ppl around you.
a conversation might save a life.
a simple smile might his/her life around.

loving, and being loved, as i see it, is, but a, general solution.

mum wanted to repaint the living room.
she commented my room is so blue, looked very depressed.
didn't have that kind of view before.
i thought blue brings a calmer self.

oh ya,
yesterday i was out when i realised my zipper was down.
it was even more embarrassing when you were with your friends, and you wonder if they knew it all along and didn't say you're open. oh well, heck.

sudden realization

i just found out recently that i don't have her contacts on msn.
that's weird.

holidays have been busy with work so far.
looks like this sem break is going to be over real fast.
just work and work and work... $ & $ & $.
mahjong, and mahjong, and mahjong.

death of a teacher

something just reminded me of a news i recieved recently.
my physics teacher back in jc passed away last month.

mr tai, thanks for passing on your knowledge, passion, and attitude.

pain therapy

instead of calling it tie da, i think i should call it pain therapy.
becuz after extreme pain from being 'massaged' on the vital points and nerves, tendons, etc... your previous pain suddenly just disappear. it's a miracle, after a torture.

it's like a broken heart healing process. the worst you feel, the better you get, after that. provided you actually get over the worsening part, i.e. maximum point, decreasing dy/dx, where y is pain level and x is time.

alwayz interesting to link how the body works with how the mind works.
physiology and psychology.
it's linked. never separated. a body and a mind is you.

been watching Lie to Me, interesting show.
using techniques of facial expression detection, body language, vocal changes, etc to detect deception. pretty cool show. i wonder why the sch doesn't have a module on this. would probably been a hit among the students. one reason i can think of is, no one in the country is found yet, to have been trained and excel in facial reading. microexpressions lasting only 1/25 second, that's too fast to detect if you're not paying particular attention to the exact position of the facial muscles responsible.

genuine smile - AU 6 + AU 12.

can't run

after soccer last night, i felt something weird in my left knee.
a bit of twisting last night also kinda gave me an acute pain.
this late morning when i woke up after mahjong, i kinda figured something was wrong.
hmm.. seemed like i overworked my knee ligament or something, felt like a blood clot underneath the skin where i can't feel it with my hands. bending hurts.
if this continues, gotta visit doc.
badminton muscle aches + fico doesn't really work out well when you're physically not adapted yet to vigorous exercise.

i rmbed my hands and legs were shaking in the middle of my badminton game. it was that bad. hope my knee recovers soon. i don't like to feel sick in any kind.

having problem figuring what i want to do for my psych courses.
a bit lazy to care at the moment also.
everything has been rather fixated till this moment.
but next sem is gonna be a matter of choice.
so while i'm still figuring what i'm gonna do with my life,
i guess i'll just laze my time away and enjoy it first.
life
so much things i wanna do
so much things i wish i have done
so much things i hope to accomplish
so much ideals that i know is impossible to see while i'm alive but it will be interesting to see what would really happen.

a world without money. i still think of this once in a while.

badminton

one day off from exam and i'm physically strained already.
went back to office becuz boss needed someone there for the meeting.
although i found it quite simple and can be done by the other 2 guys in the office.
well, i did other tasks as well.
got a 16yr old part-time girl was not absent today.
she kinda pon from the job from what boss said.
looked thru some of her stuffz in the workspace.
typical 16 yr old girl.
immature.

perhaps i'm getting too old for all the random tiny excitements that teenagers have. but then again, i dont think i got excited from tiny stimulants when i was a teen.

after work was badminton!
was a last min inclusion, lucky i checked the forums.
1st game, and i was so tired already. i didn't fail ippt for no reason. ha.
strokes were way out of court, especially backhand return. i scored hat-trick for that. ridiculous play.but still, it was fun. though the uncles still own me.

it was interesting to experience that long lost sense of speed in me.
initially when i got smashed on, the shuttle was just too fast for me to react.
then it got better, and better.

some things never do change.
when i fell in love back when i was 10, i knew this would go on for the whole of my life. but too bad my life doesn't depend on it, but it make my life my fulfilling.

it's 1 mth since being 22

exactly 1 mth has passed since birthday.
and the exams over.
today's paper was pretty shitty.
20 blanks, 4 structured essays questions.
i seriously think i got less than half of the blanks correct, and maybe just 3/5 of the essays right at best. can't choose the questions, all compulsory.

have been staying up till 2, sleeping hours and waking at 5-6am to study.
as usual, my body starts to feel a bit shaky after an acute period of this routine.
now it feels funny that i'm not studying.

should start planning stuffz to do this sem break.
personal project.
and 'personal project' came out in one of the blanks qns, which i don't know the ans to.