the worst paper written

2 days without sleep to complete my forensic psych paper which turns out to be in a big mess and a disappointment over what i could have really done for the paper. i doubt i would get good grades for that, but oh well... haha.. i'll work harder for the finals, hopefully i can at least get a B+ for this course.

i was initially worried about the aftermath of the 2 days of rushing. my back hurts becuz i was sitting up too long, i felt heaty, my eyes still hurt a bit when i woke up this morning when the rush was 2 days again from wed to thurs. and yesterday she told me i was feeling a bit warm and sweating on the palms, with that stupid rain that drenched us both, i thought maybe i'm doomed for another wave of cold and sorethroat. but i guess the vitamin c really does help fight off the virus that my own body immune system is so bad at.

Being strong for someone

For whatever there is to be faced,
for whatever there is to be overcome,
for whatever there is to be resolved,

I will hold on to the memories which are imprinted in my heart,
I will hold on to the feelings which are filling me with happiness,
I will hold on to the belief that there is a future.

I will be strong.
For you, for us.

等待

很简单的一句

爱我，别走。

For those...

Or rather, for the socially inapt Indian couple who just took my table even though I placed my file and sweater on the seats... Open your freaking eyes and make sure the table is empty before occupying it. There are other tables that are empty, don't sit on one with stuffs on it. If there are stuffs on it, it probably means it's taken. So take the cue you two ignorant fools.

I got kinda pissed when I was q-ing up for food at the hawker centre and saw this happening. Lucky for me, I found another empty table. I went back to the original table, took my file and sweater, and before leaving the table, lightly slammed my file on the table. I'm pissed abt them, and I just have to let them know. In the end the Indian auntie kept looking at me after I sat down comfortably on my empty table. To satisfy my childish and defiant self, take that you bitch.

monday zZz

well, the day started as usual as i squeezed in a mac breakfast before going to school for badminton. it was the clearing shot test today. kinda easy, but i hit 1 shot out of the scoring zone. so in the end, it's 16/20 -_-" and i think a lot of those amateurs were able to score higher than me, just becuz i hit 1 out and get a zero for that. anyway, wasn't playing that well today, my short service kept hitting the net, my shots were wildfire. still, had fun.

wanted to stay back after school for some foosball with tan. but the damn instep application was going on in the ISC. they kinda chased us out when we were just beginning to play. yes, i know the foosball is disturbing. then don't have your application venue there lah. haha..

tried to look at the forensic science recorded lecture in school cuz i can't view them at home. something wrong with my laptop. anyway, i only watched 20 min before i couldn't take it and went home. i must have doze off at least a couple of times, and the rest of the time i'm thinking that the stuffs were too simple to understand with just the notes and not much elaborate explanation was needed from the lecturer.

came home and slept till mum woke me up for dinner. everytime i woke up, the dryness, and hence the pain of my throat comes again. i look forward to the day my throat is better again for me to eat whatever fried food i so desired.

2 more months before this sem ends. it's time to start getting into the notes and my readings.

Unlimited Blade Works

chiu just posted a prequel video of the animation FSN. looks quite okay. reminded me of one of the fights in the original anime, by one of my favourite character in it.

his ultimate move was the unlimited blade works which i thought was beyond coolness. haha..

I am the bone of my sword.
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades.
Unknown to Death.
Nor known to Life.
Have withstood pain to create many weapons.
Yet, those hands will never hold anything.
So as I pray, unlimited blade works.

given his background as someone whom the male lead would turn into, it makes him a bit more special than the rest of the characters in my view.

Low Kay Hwa

I'm afraid if I read on any further than what I've read, I may not be able to hold back the feelings inside and tears.

-_-

fcuk the cough.
can't even concentrate.

Starting of the second half

It's Monday morning and I'm on the way to badminton class after having a hearty meal at Mac. Everything sounds fine, except for the fact that my throat is still suffering from midnight and morning dryness, and now it's feeling a bit weird. I reckoned that I'll be coughing away later at training and trying to catch my breath as I spar against the better players.

The money that my ah ma left for me was borrowed away by my dad who needed some quick cash. Oh well. But what I didnt know, or rather, I forgot that she left quite a significant amount for me. Enough to tide me thru the rest of my academic year without working. Anyway, I'm sure mum was quite relieved that I could lend my dad the cash, especially when she sometimes said that dad would borrow from her and not returned.

Something surprised me the other day, something that my dad did. He told us if we're interested in going for yanni's concert at MBS. I asked what's yanni? Haha.. He's supposed to be a very talented guy in the world of music. Self taught pianist, keyboardist and composer. Must be very passionate and musically inclined to have turn out this way. And here I'm still wondering what I'm talented in. He graduated with a psychology degree too. That's something similar. Haha..

Anyway, dad said there were no more seats except for the front ones, so he bought 4 tix, each amounting to over 200. -_-" that's like over a thousand dollars for a family outing. But then again, he didn't pay a single cent since he was exchanging his points from the gambling organization for the tickets. He even mentioned that he will get me a g shock for my bday. Wow! Even though I know it's kinda free since he has the points, but I still feel rather touched that my dad still concern himself over getting me something for my bday. I'm going to be 24, if he gets me anything at all, even if it's a red packet with some money in it, I would be more than happy already. Anyway, maybe his points were expiring already, that's why he's spamming away like there's no tomorrow. Let's hope his gambling habits don't come back and haunt the family.

Eating Mac just now reminds me of the times when I would wake up early on the weekend morning, walk to causeway point, and get the 2 bucks Macmuffin with egg with tea meal. Those weekends were usually spent alone as the rest of the family were away on cruise. That was when I learned loneliness. That was when I learned independence.

I grew up as a boy who was too shy to even order a meal from a hawker by myself. I'm kinda glad I became someone who has the courage to overcome any possible endeavors that I may encounter. Somewhere along the way, I found the courage to face my fears. Although I know many times were with the help of others, but usually they don't realize that. On my own, my courage shrinks and I often avoid the problem while staying in my comfort zone. With others, be it my family or my friends, I would bravely march forward.

Courage without fear is senseless.
Only with fear, courage is of worth.

One month

ever since i've ORDed, i get a bit anxious about my birthday.
not becuz i'm turning old, but becuz i knew i haven't clear my yearly IPPT yet.

it has been over a month too since something beautiful happened to me.
that's one more reason to smile every night before i fall asleep on my bed.

i had a riddle tonight which i couldn't quite figure out at first sight.
IASLTKY
took me a while to get it, but after i did, i felt the same way. =)

fyp meeting up in 2 days.
outline, hmm... 10% done. so screwed. haha...
i suppose this sem is too slack for me, i don't even feel like doing any studying or readings. what a good start to my honours year~

A Quote

Love without courage and wisdom is sentimentality, as with the ordinary church member.
Courage without love and wisdom is foolhardiness, as with the ordinary soldier.
Wisdom without love and courage is cowardice, as with the ordinary intellectual.
But the one who has love, courage and wisdom moves the world.

- Ammon Hennacy