feeling the sickness

as much as i want to deny the slow fact that i'm falling ill, perhaps from walking under the drizzle yesterday, my condition is failing at the moment even though i'm popping my old pills from previous visits to the doc.

it's weird.
usually when i fall sick, the symptoms come much faster than this slowpoke fashion of torment.
i feel old, so much so that even falling sick is turning slower.
have i gained the ability to slow time? and even biological processes?

it's the 2nd week of school.
fyp not settled, tml meeting prof.
no idea what to do, no idea what to say.
i'm as screwed up as any ignorant idiot.

i know i can't go on this way.
for life, ain't meant to be like wandering souls on the streets.
yet for me, the clueless path ahead kept me from moving forward.
i'm stuck. i'm trapped in this spiral of non-life that seemed to surrounds those who doesn't strive.

hope tml i can still wake up and go to sch.
cuz i think this illness is here to stay.
and i still hate the fact that everytime i'm ill,
i wish i could feel the comfort of another.
even more, i'm reminded of the time i refused to tell her about it.