paranoid

am i getting too paranoid over small matters? even msn nicks affect me. but of cuz i should get paranoid! there's always a hope that she will actually think abt me.

these two weeks will be frequent visits to toa payoh. met ah tan in the morning at the bus 90 Q. he told me at this time, we will be late when we reach the camp. haha... in the end both of us just slept throughout the journey. hoping to see someone. but normally, when i think of seeing someone, the person will never appear. it's like.. demand and no supply.

should i buy a laptop? hmm.. seriously, or am i just gonna stay in the 1-man rm in australia and mug, or sleep, or just lie on the bed reading books, writing? or just "the wall is my only friend".

it's beginning to dawn on me that the things i wish for btw me and her ain't gonna happen. i have one idiot who's telling me to walk on, when i know she herself shouldn't give up so easily on her own. FOR THE SAKE OF SOMETHING, COMMUNICATE LAH. although i don't really perform well in that sector, but at least i know it's crucial. haha...

first day in Air Force School. lots of new things, adapting. i'm really afraid of having my feelings shaken at this point of time. becuz i know, if i do, and when i'm back, i will be stronger. and when that happened, even comedies i can't laugh.

tired.... being the course IC is quite troublesome. too bad, i'm the only one having the bar.