The MacDonald Treat

boss suddenly asked me to go down the office to meet her at the carpark. thought i was the usual stuffs of asking me to carry things up again or just disseminating the work to do before moving off again.
she just told me to get in the car, and off we went to the macdonald nearby for a drink, and a small talk.
the main objective was to find out what's wrong with me. hmm... the reason i wanted to quit the job. see if we can solve the problems involved, and thne continue on.
i told her straight, "if you give me another survey to do, i think i will die."
haha.. the main disgust abt the job is really the taxi project. so she said she will take over the survey part and leave the literature to me. hmm. okay loh. then after that i will leave. told her i have problems outside of work. and somehow, it feels comfortable telling them to her. my relationships, its complications, my feelings and denial of feelings. to me, telling that to someone i just got to know, is easy. telling that to my friends, it's hard.
well at least i also shot back some of the qns she asked. like during valentine someone sent her a whole basket of roses. she was saying no guys jio her or what... then i asked her abt the one who sent the roses. she kinda went.. maybe him or something. haha.. i think she's too busy to socialise also. lady hard at work.

maybe it's my selfish thoughts and decisions that cause certain things to turn towards a nasty side. maybe i didn't get the situation right in the first place. but i will stay true to my choice, to what i think it's right. but what's right for me, has a different meaning to the others. my right, has more of a you're wrong feeling. becuz, my right is the kind of convenient thing you just say, and the whole concept of 自以为是 just neatly falls in place. putting myself in your shoes, that will be another case. but becuz i'm now looking at you, that's why it's this case.

all this guilt saturated my dreams last night. it was just dream after dream... of guilt. however, my stand still stand.

what w.lynn said was right. i should have gotten out of this completely in the first place. onlooker/involver. no, it's passerby/involver.

someday i feel, my ozone layer will just disintergrate into atoms of oxygen and the painful rays of UV will burn my world alive. i'm not even sure O3 -> 3O. but i'm certain that my ozone layer now has a big big hole.

you've gotta be stupid to be someone like me.
but in the meantime, thinking of something more stupid to do.