thursday

it's thursday.
i'm already feeling 'normed'.
it's like an ever running cycle of work work work.
before exams, work for the assignments.
during exams, work for the finals.
after exams, work for the intern, fyp, and all sorts of shitz.

think i saw yh's gf at kfc when i had dinner there.
couldn't recognize her at first, so, oh well.

sometimes when i have too much time on my hand, i tend to think about having someone by my side. i stop counting how long was it that i hold someone's hand. i stop believing that love is all that great. i had to. becuz if it's all that great, and i'm missing it in my life, then isn't my life ain't all that great? haha..

it hurts, sometimes. not becuz of the pain of the previous, but becuz of the absence in the present. i don't miss her, i miss it. love's like a candy that keeps you hooked on the first time. it stimulates your very mind, activate your rewarding system in the brain. in biological terms, it excites your ventral tegmental area (VTA) to release more dopamine into the nucleus accumbens, which inhibits the activity of it, causing a feeling of enjoyment. a smile, a touch, a hug, a kiss.

love aside, life's much bigger.
there's more to life than love.
i have to believe that.

or perhaps, i should believe that someday, some place, some girl is gonna come into my life, and blow my heart away.