growing

at some point of life, you can't deny that you're on the expressway of the passage of time. friends planning to get a flat together; getting married. soon there will be little kids running around when we play mahjong. haha.

as i worry about the future, i can see friends who are making decisions and moving forward, marching towards goals and aims, desires and whatever. to those who eyes fortune, i have nothing against them. they're still pursuing their interests, with money as one of them. but i always thought life should be more than that.

still, i was caught off guard on how practical the society is. no$ =nothing. if it's up to me, this earth will rotate without the use of currency. what do we need riches and poor for? for those who are accomplished to get what they deserved? sounds fair. what about the poor? those driven to crimes becuz of desperation. those who never experienced poverty probably think that whatever the case, criminal acts are forbidden. try starving for 3 days, living in a cardboard house without shelter from the rain. the psychological pains that a person has to live thru knowing that there are people who are eating their tummy full while you starve and search the trashbins for leftover of any sorts. and when they realize it's useless to think about such unfairness in the world, a self-numbing attitude covers their mind and they just live on. few could escape the poverty-cycle. ppl are impressed by those who do, and even more by those who did splendidly. but why? i ask myself this question multiple times, and yet i couldn't come out with a justified, or even a satisfied answer.

it's okay to be rich. it's also okay to be middle-income. but it's never okay to be poor. every country has its share of poor residents. then, if you look at this small globe among other giant stars, it has its share of poor countries. humans are ultimately selfish, if selfish is simply defined as not helping others. researchers, theorists, etc can put forth reasons why altruism isn't all that common in reality, and some may even question whether that exists. there's no avenue to helping them, i have not the ability nor resources, there are people who are better... i don't know much about what was discussed during the earth summit, or whatever meetings were met to find solutions to people who are in dire needs of help. but i do know it's not progressing as well as anyone could hope for. basic necessities not met, high child mortality... why the world must be unfair? does working hard and then recieving the results of hard work fair? does fair really has a 'fair' definition?

as my mind fills up with random thoughts, old ones as of today, i should really get back to sch work as it's piling up like a volcano waiting to kill all the villagers who just wouldn't budge even though they know they are in danger zone.

one day, maybe just one day, when i have so much free time, i would think about how this can all work out.