my handicap

everyone has their weakness.
everyone has something they can't do.
but why me?

it's something that i have felt helpless ever since i found out.
and up till this point, i have become completely paralysed on the matter.
it's something that i was excelling in and was developing a passion for.
and yet i'm stopped by my own self.

as i look at the dart board that is hung on my wall, i'm constantly reminded of the fact that i would probably not be able to play as well as before due to the psychological/physiological barrier that appear out of nowhere with my right hand.

it was a boring morning and early afternoon, so i tried to throw some darts. as i stood before the board with the two darts in my left, and the throwing dart in my right, i took aim at the triple 20s, bend my elbow in preparation for throwing, make a few fake swings, and just got stuck there. the dart just wont leave my hand, or rather, my hand just won't release the dart. and even i forcefully threw out the dart, it would look really really awakard and the aim would be much off.

this kinda deters me a bit when my darts teammates ask me back for trainings and also for outings. it would just hurt a little inside to have my handicap shown to all. none of them really understand, becuz it's not something that would happen to the common. perhaps i guess i'm special in this sense. even alcohol inhibition doesn't help in this situation. saded.

oh well. i can still play with my left hand, except it's like wild fire on the board and i don't feel like poking any more holes on my wall or my floor tiles. haha..