first week of sch

seriously, it's been nearly 3 weeks already.
and my damn right ankle is still not working right.
it's gonna be a while till i can run properly.

well, the first week of school is nearly over.
practically speaking, it's over for me since i don't have lessons tml.
been a rather relaxed week except for the first part of figuring out which module to take. i took a module that was meant for graduate students, and got into one full of FYP students except for me. total outcast. haha.. i actually felt a bit bad for any year 4s who can't take this module becuz of me. but still, someone left a vacany in the middle of the night, so i just took it. it's clinical psych, my first professional module. hmm... shall see how it goes. was wondering whether at my stage, am i able to handle a professional course. afterall, i'm 1 year behind my seniors.

btw, today's the first seminar for clinical psych.
the topic which struck my heart was suicide.
and i believed it was the most impactful for the rest of the class too.
the discussion came to some of us sharing personal stories.
one had a close friend who committed suicide, which she believed influenced her other friends to do so too. another encountered a friend who msged her telling that he's gonna commit suicide, and he fulfilled those words.

i was thinking of a particular girl. she was as far as i rmbed, the first case of suicide within my social circle. i vividly rmbed her name, HT. and i still remembered i held her hand during the solo night event in the annual npcc camp. her suicide struck me straight in the heart, forcing me to admit that suicide is not just some stuffs that only happens in other dimensions while i just sit back and watched it being reported on the evening news. it's in my world, it's in this world. i'm not sure, but i think another girl in the class may be thinking about the same thing. she is afterall HT's batch.

the aftermath of a suicide has quite a significant effect on the ppl around. the saddness of the sudden departure, the guilt and shame of not doing anything. it leaves a certain shock, with a lingering gray clouds that hover in the mind for a while. suicide isn't something one should think of often. whether is it about others, or yourself.

anyway, been watching and just completed 2 korean dramas. both having the same male lead. first off is personal taste, and the interest got me watching boys over flowers, the korean drama that i believed was a big hit when it came out. then i believed it was probably cuz of the four handsome male actors. after watching it, the plot was more than enough. simple, but touching.

personal taste is a story about a girl who easily believes ppl, and a guy who is ever so striving to succeed in his career. in a few turns of events, the guy was mistaken as a gay which allowed himself to live together with the girl. the story follows as the guy helped the girl to recover from a broken and truly cruel relationship and also turned her into someone better. along the way, the guy helplessly fell in love. many funny scenes came on with the theme of the gayness. but also becuz of this theme, i found it the most touching when the girl actually told him she would marry him, even if he's gay, just so he would be able to face his family and the society. while watching that scene, this question came to mind. can someone really love another that much? so much so that she/he is going to give up finding someone who is able to give them a normal love, and to give their heart to someone who is never gonna be able to do so in return. just becuz they want to stay beside the person. just becuz she loves him that much.

boys over flowers, and i still don't really get the meaning of the title. does it means the boys turn into flowers? or the flowers somehow refer to the girl? anyway, it's a story with stylish guys and a normal girl. the most special part of this drama in my view, is perhaps the love triangle that plays out so nicely btw 2 of the F4 members and the girl. one, who is always there for her like a guardian angel. when she's down, when she's in trouble, when all sorts of problems was happening btw her and the main guy, this guardian angel gives comfort and encouragement. the other guy, who's ever so aggressive in his approach initially, became the person to actually save her from dangers. sort of a different situations than the guardian angel. as described in the story, 1 is a soulmate, the other is a lover. there was one instance which i got rather teared up. but it wasn't becuz of the love btw the 2 leads, it was the guardian angel. there was a part in which the main guy saved him from being knocked down by a car, and before he became unconscious, he told the guardian angel along the line of if he have to give the girl away to a guy, it had to be him. it's the desperation of the guy, to have the determination to give the girl up for a guy who loves her so much more. and not just any guy, but a very precious and dear friend. and from the looks of it, he put the blame on himself when the male lead woke up forgetting about the girl and went to befriend a bitch. favourite scene was at the end, when the girl decided to give the guy an ultimatum by falling into the pool and drowning herself. quite touching. and the fact that when she fell in, she went to recover the necklace that was given by the guy, which she threw in earlier to kinda signify an end to the relationship. shows that even though she tried to give it all up, she still can't let it go somehow.

both dramas were great. i kinda preferred boys over flowers, becuz it gave a much longer happy ending and also it lasted longer over 25 episodes compared to 16 episodes of personal taste. dramas tend to leave an unsatisfying thirst for more at the end when you finished it becuz sometimes it just increased the pace of events towards the end. kinda like, oh it's ending soon, let's just speed up and get it over with. of cuz i have the same feelings for both, but it was much stronger in the case of personal taste. but then again, i'm deeply amused by the humor shown in personal taste which is much more enjoyable than boys over flowers. the music was nicer too. but even so, the story of personal taste was definitely less complete than that of boys over flowers. so holistically speaking, boys over flowers is still my preferred drama.

i have gotta watch less dramas. not so much of having more time for studying, but more of it's keeping me up till 3 am becuz i can't seem to stop myself. haha..