Dartz Place

the darts team went down to a pub in chinatown yesterday for a gathering after the competition. suppose to send kl off for his exchange i think. actually wanted to drink something light, but ended up with a glass of johnnie walker on the rocks, and not really knowing which label is it. i sort of wanted to try getting alochol-induced and see whether it helps with dartitis. results, not really.

cx came for the gathering, the graduated mentor of ours. still as zai as before. which really puts me down quite a bit, and i have landed myself in such a stupid condition becuz of the route to perfection of the throws i made myself commit. there's really no point for me to envy the people around me that they are playing just as fine while i'm playing like shitz using my left hand or even left footing. i know this battle is against myself. i refuse to let myself lose. this war is on as long as i said it is.

some of the members commented that the team probably would have done better with the last year newcomers. perhaps better than a result of 2-5. but i kinda see this as a opportunity for some of the old birds to actually go down to the battlefield and play for the hall. if me, zk and my went down, that would means 2 less spaces for the guys and 1 less space for the girls. it's a give and take, i like to see it that way.

next year, whether or not i still have my commitment to the darts team which i hold so dear before, i'll still prepare myself for it. i will forget how strong i was before and move on to greater heights.

tml's school starting. i have no idea on my class schedule. i'm feeling a bit tired from the whole week of activities, and got a little emotional drain too. some things never do change. and when i wished they do, i hate myself for being able to do just that. i don't even consider how high the possibility is that. i just hate myself, for that.

today's soccer ended with a little dispute.

i'm getting hungry at this hour of the evening.

and here's something i wrote while trying to waste time during the fri traffic count.

have you ever noticed when you look at the sea, that you can never fixated your focuz on a single point? what you are looking at always seemed to be not stagnant, always moving to another point. you are naturally brought into the rhythm of the sea; the waves that never seemed to cease, the flow that never seemed to end.

心字头上加了秋
是在秋天里的愁
还是在想秋天的愁
秋季是否给人的情感增加了些伤感
那温柔的微风
是不是会让自己回想起一些
不常想起的东西
不应想起的东西
不想触碰的回忆

something i thought of when i wrote her name wrongly. autumn is certainly a great time to relives those memories, unwanted or not. it's the wind...

当每刻都是伤感的延续
而想忘的心情依然存在
是应该逃避一切
往那无人岛飞去
还是应荡然接受
含泪，微笑而过