it's like black xmas again

same hotel.
same ballroom.
same clothes that i worn.
perhaps the same dress that she worn.
it's like black xmas all over again.
just that instead of together, we're separate.

everytime i think we're going to lock our eyes together, or when we actually did, i just couldn't help but ignore and look away. it's rude, i know, given that we have known each other for 11 years plus. i just don't know why, and don't know when did i start feeling awakard towards her. well she probably thinks i'm just being an idiot. haha...

anyway, dinner wasn't really nice. but i don't think my table of 5 guys 5 girls really cared much about the food. it was more of the company than anything else. catching up on each other, wc got attached, basically only dap is single, in addition to qr, wy and me. talked all kinds of crap. saw ms ong, mdm samsiah, mr see, lau. it was a great night. the food wasn't worth it, but the gathering is worth than a hundred bucks.

for a while, qr was talking to me that in christianity, it is believed that if you're meant to be together with someone, you will eventually find that someone. and if you're not, god would have given you the strength to be someone who can live alone. not so sure about this, but rather than alone, i am hoping that someone would be there in my life, and that i am in her life.

whenever someone asked that dreaded qns that i refuse to face, i don't know whether to shut up or say, maybe. feelings, not always clear, but always there.