what's lacking

as usual, a sudden wave of sadness flooded my soul tonight.
it just so happened that, i'm not enjoying life.
not games, they bring only temporary thrills.
no love, i doubt it will come any time soon.

i feel.. i'm wasted.
i'm here, doing nothing.
just letting the seconds tick away.
i look up and see friends around.
they're filling their life with beautiful memories.
having the experience of their life.

i stood in front of the mirror, i dare not see what i see.
for i see no change in this me.
i'm still me.
i'm one with little experiences, knowledge and emotions.
i'm, just a minute self.

they have love, they have happiness
they have ambitions to fulfil
they have dreams to keep

all i have, i don't even know what i have.

searching for a purpose... to live.