Mahjong

Recently i've been going for mahjong sessions. there have not been more than 3 days apart that i don't play mahjong. and almost every session i lose. -_- my luck in gambling isn't all that good. haha..

it's near the end of the year. many things i thought would happen, didn't. other things i thought won't happen, did. unexpected things, expected results, surprises, disappointments, happiness, sadness, quite a lot of feelings experienced this year. the past few years, were probably just me chasing the dreamZ. this year, i stopped chasing. it's time to grab it.

there's different dreams for for different ppl. and each dream has many goals. i wanna score straight A's for my exams, i wanna grow taller, i want to have bigger breasts (although many girls i've asked don't really want it, but maybe it's better to be a bit bigger), i want happiness, blah blah blah.. and i seriously wonder what's my dream. i looked through the list of courses again. engineering... not really interested, sciences... not really interested. those arts and social sciences are all out, except for psychology. can i just blindly go through it like always? i can't. i gotta take into consideration the future path i can, and i will take. is it enough? will i be satisfied? i'm in a need for competition. what's after being a psychologist? and how is it like being one, and the path to one? i have no idea. i need a goal to chase, i need a vision to fulfil, i need a reason to sprint towards. ah.. i wish i was young again. haha..

some of the memories came back to occupy my mind. i remembered staying awake just outside of bunk talking on the phone, it was drizzling in the parade square, the orange spot lights were on. i looked up, the rain drops were falling down under the orange beam above. the view was beautiful.

memories can be sweet, but what if the later part isn't? hmm.. so does it still count as sweet? is it just your own perspective of things? it's bitter cuz it was sweet. i think this is the best description. maybe we should live life such that, it's sweet, cuz it was bitter.

ah, raining again~ haha... i want to run in the rain again... drenched, smiling, becuz someone else is beside me.