Monday, January 31, 2011

bathroom inspiration

as usual.
becuz i'm no longer shy in singing when in the shower, unless i suddenly realized my parents presence in the kitchen. ha.

still lingering on those last few lines of lyrics that i thought of...

他们说爱情不能强求
但感情更不能自由
如果爱上你 是我的过错
怎么对你说

他们说爱情不能长久
但我依然会被你感动
如果还爱你 是我的(过错?)
该不该放手

running out of time on thinking about words.
had to submit my resume for my upcoming professional attachment.
dilemma btw choosing interesting ones which have no pay, plus most probably i'm not going into the clinical side, and choosing those not interesting ones, but i have the most experience and proficiency in (i.e. statistics -_-), and last but not least, interesting ones, with pay, but don't know about the future.

all these are just backups for my main assault towards being a professional driver.
i needa find some time to research on this attack plan soon.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

another first time~

first time at mustafa shopping~
amazed at the variety of stuffs that they sell.
was pretty excited at the sports section when i saw the rackets, shuttles, darts, table soccer... it's like everything i need for my future game room is there. haha..

saw some perfume, went to spray some of those she wore before, just to smell how was it like again. hmm... familiar, mildy sweet, and pretty seducing.

i still have no idea what to do with her last gift.
and it kinda just dawn on me, what was she feeling the whole time when she was finishing this last gift? it would have been pretty confusing for me, at least. some cognitive dissonance there.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

a few more days of rest

before the whole cycle begins again.
i'm left with this weekend, to worry over my schedule and to enjoy my last break before the end of year 3 in college.

results were out this week, A+ A A- B+ B.
it's kinda rare my grades came as a sequence, nice.
though i still don't get how my clinical psych got a B.
is every final paper that is pure essay-based gonna be a B everytime?
sometimes, i really wished i have taken engin or something.

and so on that night, i spent some time calculating on how i'm gonna get a 1st class with the current situation. as it turns out, it's impossible. same goes for john. haha.. a bit of a relief really. that i no longer have to be jumpy about striving for that 4.5 and just be satisfed with a 2nd upper class. just enjoy the remaining 1.5years~

chiu's back, just landed today. welcome back.
first thing he commented on me was i'm anti-social becuz i refused to go to queenstown tml with him to buy soccer boots. i always take a defensive stance when i'm being called anti-social. especially when my friends in college kept telling me that. well, what can i say. i don't shop.

yesterday badminton session was rather okay. although i still keep hitting the net when i'm serving and i missed a bit obvious shots due to misjudgment on the shuttle position. but at the very least i can feel myself getting better. i sux when i haven't play for such a long time.

watched social network the other day (obviously alone in my room, again). kinda protrayed the founder of facebook in a pretty negative light but still maintain the genius side of him. opportunities, talent, hard work, some of the things which are pretty crucial in being successful. simply speaking, it's just 3 independent factors. but in actual fact, these 3 usually are inter-connected, interdependent upon each other and other factors too. now, when would the next youngest billionnaire emerge? i'm passed that age already. i guess my son could be the next candidate. haha.. by selling hotdogs. everybody loves hotdogs.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

分享人生の【60个名句】

From Sharings,

1。 人生就像一杯茶,不会苦一辈子,但总会苦一阵子。
2。 低头要有勇气,抬头要有底气。
3。 傻与不傻,要看你会不会装傻。
4。 幸福是可以通过学习来获得的,尽管它不是我们的母语。
5。 不要见一个爱一个,爱的太多,你的爱就要贬值。
6。 想完全了解一个男人,最好别做他的恋人,而做他的朋友。
7。 朋友就是把你看透了,还能喜欢你的人。
8。 当我们搬开别人架下的绊脚石时,也许恰恰是在为自己铺路。
9。 如果说我懂得道理比别人多一点,那是因为我犯的错误比别人多一点。
10。不是每句“对不起”,都能换来“没关系”。
11。世界上只有想不通的人,没有走不通的路。
12。地球是运动的,一个人不会永远处在倒霉的位置。
13。走的最急的是最美的景色,伤的最深的是最真的感情。
14。在事实面前,我们的想象力越发达,后果就越不堪设想。
15。当别人开始说你是疯子的时候,你离成功就不远了。。。
16。你永远看不见我眼里的泪,因为你不在时我才会哭泣。
17。时间就像一张网,你撒在哪里,你的收获就在哪里。
18。如果我能够看到自己的背影,我想它一定很忧伤,因为我把快乐都留在了前面。
19。理想和现实总是有差距的,幸好还有差距,不然,谁还稀罕理想?
20。任何人都可以变得狠毒,只要你尝试过极嫉妒。
21。爱情就像攥在手里的沙子,攥的越紧,流失的越快。
22。成熟不是心变老,而是眼泪在眼里打转却还保持微笑。
23。做与不做的最大区别是:后者拥有对前者的评论权。
24。人,长得漂亮不如活的漂亮。
25。有些事,明知是错的,也要去坚持,因为不甘心..
有些人,明知是爱的,也要去放弃,因为没有结局..
有时候,明知没路了,却还在前进,因为习惯了..
26。同样的一瓶饮料,便利店里 2 块钱,五星饭店里 60 块,
很多的时候,一个人的价值取决于所在的位置..
27。每个人出生的时候都是原创,可悲的是很多人渐渐都成了盗版。
28。真坏人并不可怕,可怕的是假好人。
29。浪漫是一袭美丽的晚礼服,但你不能一天到晚都穿着它。
30。把一切平凡的事做好即不平凡,把一切简单的事做好即不简单。
31。把不忙不闲的工作做的出色,把不咸不淡的生活过得精彩。
32。情侣间最矛盾的地方就是幻想彼此的未来,却惦记着对方的过去。
33。忙碌是一种幸福,让我们没时间体会痛苦..
奔波是一种快乐,让我们真实地感受生活..
疲惫是一种享受,让我们无暇空虚..
34。理想很丰满,现实很骨感。
35。爱情永远比婚姻圣洁,婚姻永远比爱情实惠。
36。探索的旅程不在于发现新大陆,而在于培养新视角。
37。一个人能走多远,要看他有谁同行..
一个人有多优秀,要看他有谁指点..
一个人有多成功,要看他有谁相伴..
38。叹气是最浪费时间的事情,哭泣是最浪费力气的行径。
39。不是人人都能活的低调,可以低调的基础是随时都能高调。
40。谈恋爱就像剥洋葱,总有一层会让你流泪。
41。年轻时候,拍下许多照片,摆在客厅给别人看;等到老了,才明白照片是拍给自己看的。
42。就算不快乐也不要皱眉,因为你永远不知道谁会爱上你的笑容。
43。当大部分人都在关注你飞的高不高时,只有少部分人关心你飞的累不累,这就是友情。
44。绝口不提不是因为忘记,而是因为铭记。
45。让未来到来,让过去过去。
46。微小的幸福就在身边,容易满足就是天堂。
47。成功有个副作用,就是以为过去的做法同样适应于将来。
48。天使之所以会飞,是因为她们把自己看得很轻..
49。试金可以用火,试女人可以用金,试男人可以用女人。
50。喜欢一个人,就是在一起很开心..
爱一个人,就是即使不开心,也想在一起..
51。幽默就是一个人想哭的时候还有笑的兴致。
52。咖啡苦与甜,不在于怎么搅拌,而在于是否放糖..
一段伤痛,不在于怎么忘记,而在于是否有勇气重新开始..
53。人之所以活得累,是因为放不下架子,撕不开面子,解不开情节。
54。漂亮只能为别人提供眼福,却不一定换到幸福。
55。美丽让男人停下,智慧让男人留下。
56。人生最精彩的不是实现梦想的瞬间,而是坚持梦想的过程。
57。忍无可忍,就重新再忍。
58。付出真心,才会得到真心,却可能伤的彻底;保持距离,才能保护自己,却注定永远寂寞。
59。废话是人际关系的第一句。
60。有时候,不是对方不在乎你,而是你把对方看的太重。

Saturday, January 15, 2011

1 more week of holidays~

oh well, time flies.
soon the school will start again.
the big cycle repeats and repeats... and voila, graduate. tada~!

anyway, had captain's ball the other day.
thought it was indoor becuz the venue stated multipurpose hall.
games from 12-3pm, how hot is that?
2 matches, tough games. was struggling to keep up with the guys from the opponent teams. our team, however, has limited guys who can really run.. sighz. well, anyway, i had fun. just that we didn't win. however, i was rather pissed when the umpire keep blowing the whistle at me for travelling. i know the rules that i can pivot with 1 leg, but why can't i jump after pivoting? kns. and the guys from the other team just kept moving forward so fast by passing to each other, but the umpire didn't foul them for travelling. tmd. but seriously, our own team don't have someone who can keep up with that pace of speed forward with me also, so, no necessary complains on that matter.

yesterday went to sch again.
it's for a screening test for a research on the cognitive abilities of the mind, i think it's called "the aging mind".
some simple cognitive tests that i was kinda familiar with.
simple awareness, following instructions, digit span, information processing... then that list of 10 words that i kept repeating. i keep forgetting this or that... but what annoys me was the 'tooth....' i can't rmb it's toothpaste or toothbrush. damn. i supposed during the test i kept switching btw the two. funny thing is, i can still remember the 10 words now, except for the toothpaste or brush.

looking forward to monday when i actually go to the hospital to do some brain scans and other cognitive tests. the one thing that worries me is the presence of metallic objects inside my body. pica, that's the word; a form of eating disorder in which the infant of toddler persists in eating inedible, nonnutritive substances. i found myself having that when i was in pri sch. i ate tips of the pencil (which is lead, and perhaps i should have die from lead poisoning), color pencils (i guess those are poisonous too), and more imptly now, staples. i wonder if the staples stayed in my digestive system cuz it got stuck somewhere or it has already passed out through of a-hole. on retrospect, i think i've been through some scannings when i was being hospitalized for constipation. hmm.. not sure whether it was MRI, fMRI, or just X-ray. well, if i do die from staples coming out of my body and piercing through my organs on monday afternoon, hmm... may i rest in peace.

anyway, excited about downloading movies.
new hobby, movies collecting~!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Hello Stranger?

it's my second time of watching it.
though i have to say that i watched it alone, it doesn't really matter.
the movie's still the same.

i wasn't really expecting much when i first saw it.
didn't even know it was a thai movie, thought it was a korean one.
still, it was a rather sweet romantic plot.

ppl naturally likes to put themselves in the shoes of the characters.
and when i put myself in him,
i find myself in a rather emotional turmoil upon knowing that i have to make a decision btw the two.
although i find the 'dropping the coin and then crying' scene kinda fake, but something have to trigger it.

the ending was what i like best about the movie.
something about destiny and fate that attracts my very soul.
becuz i believed in it.

but the funniest scene for me was the dining scene with the fake korean actor.

hmm.. half of the holidays have just passed.
kinda fast eh? too much activities nowadays.
so much, that i don't have time to sit at home and feel sad that my life is mostly infront of the computer.

benny's leaving tml.
this time, it will be quite a while before we could see him again since he might be working else where.
all the best to him whereever.

accompany mum to the checkup of her broken toe bone this morning.
and dad unexpectedly met his old pal from the saf.
he mentioned he is a RSM now, not sure where though.
hmm. imagined if dad stayed on after his 3 years contract, he would probably be a warrant too. haha...

this is another thing that runs in the family.
my dad and i were both ex-regulars. haha..
that's just a small thingy.
but on the whole, the whole family, 4 of us, were involved in uniformed groups in one was or another.
mum was from st johns, sis was from girls bg, i'm from npcc. dad, not sure.
i thought it was kinda cool to see something similar within the family.
when most of the time, we're kinda diverse in our own ways.

time to sleep.
oh, maybe i'll dream of a stranger.
i still rmb i dreamt of a female stranger, in a cab.
i think she was my girlfriend in the dream.
that kinda makes me wonder for a bit.

how did the female enter my mind?
it's not like in reality, whereby it's real (i know, this sentence sounds stupid)
in a dream, things are often synthesized to form a scenario
and i believed that faces, should in fact, be familiar, someone you have seen and have an impression on before.
but this girl, this female in my dream before, i have no recollection of her from anywhere. strange.

perhaps the mind could just synthesize faces, or maybe anything, with just the basic structures.

in dreams, i can do anything.
in dreams, i can be free.
in dreams... there will be a, you.

Monday, January 10, 2011

there are times...

there are times when life isn't that much smooth-flowing as you thought it would...
and today is one of those fucking times.

the internet connection at home suddenly went haywire just 30 min from my course registration. FUCK YOU STARHUB.

after trying for 10-15min, i ran to the library to try to access the internet before the registration starts. then as expected, i have to keep trying all kinds of username and password becuz i don't know what i used, and sometimes, the internet connection is suxy in the library to even be able to log you in. by the time i log in, it's already near to a minute after cse registration. nonetheless, i did my best to quickly register my mods.... haiz. didn't manage to get forensics psych. TMD. FUCK YOU. i don't know who, but, FUCK YOU.

now that i'm back home, the internet is working. again, FUCK YOU STARHUB.

KKN CCB.

i'm so tempted to say these words out but the image of me saying it infront of the computer just prevent me from doing so. annoyed.

Friday, January 7, 2011

girls online

it kinda got my attention that there is no lack of pretty girls on dating websites. ever since i signed up for 2 of them and they kept sending me emails with pictures of those who matches my profile, i can't resist clicking on their profiles and see what they're like. haha...

i got frustrated when i saw a really nice girl, but the stupid website doesn't allow us to read mails sent to each other unless one of us signed up for the service for quite a fee. so i went into facebook and started to search for her just by her single name. failed. sianz. but then again, even if i found her, what more can i do? sent her a mail anyway even though she can't read it. haha..

at this point of life, until i decide where i'm really going, i'll let love and dating come what may.

changing bit by bit

well, the other day i mended my wall which was holey due to my inaccurate flying darts. was rather fun filling the holes, now the wall looks better, although the holes are now all white spots. but they don't really stand out much from the background. i guess i'll paint it when i'm more determined to have a makeover for the room.

this morning, i woke up at 5am and went for a run. good run from house to admiralty and back to woodlands mrt. feel quite good, except i'm super hungry now waiting for my frozen ham to defroze.

if i don't change, who will for me?

mum must sometimes think her son is a bit siao. how come her son would get up before her and go for a run out of a sudden? haha.. i've been contemplating for a while. but a few events kinda prompt me to do it...

previously at the recent ISG basketball against other schools, i was so tired from just 5 min on the court. won WKWSCI, got thrashed by NBS (all of them were quite good), then a close match with SCE but lost. probably becuz i was dragging my ass for the last 5 min and couldn't really do anything.

yesterday at the badminton game with my usual clique, one uncle came and commented i wasn't playing quite well; missing shots, smash, drops went short... it's been quite a while since i touched the shuttle. damn. and i lost all my matches... haha... except for one, me and my partner made a rather nice comeback from 13-18 to 21-19 i think. after that i was kinda ~ for the rest of the other games.

GOOD MORNING WORLD~!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

lines from friends...

nowadays i'm just randomly choosing episodes of friends to watch while enjoying my meals. oh, mum cooked dinner tonight!!! i'm excited becuz it's the first time she cooked since she hurt her leg. i suggested it when she asked me to buy some things she need from the supermarket. and then i went and bought all kinds of stuffs to cook for... perhaps today and tml. ha. nice.

anyway... here's one of the many lines that is memorable and impactful to me.
during the first breakup of ross and rachael, these are the 2 final lines.

Ross: This can't be it. I mean...
Rachael: Then how can it is.

a man who can't accept the reality that the r/s is going downhill,
a woman who chose to leave becuz she can't forgive the reality.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

basketball

yesterday went down to school for isg, basketball.
was nice to see some familiar faces around.
one guy, however, was not.
didn't know him well enough, but after the game, don't even wanna know him.
throughout the game he's just shouting and shouting... shout until i dulan.

well, at least i got to play competitive basketball.
but the thing is i kept getting tired out easily through the games.
after the last match, i got a slight nose bleed from overexerting myself -_-
although we wanted to win the last match even thought it didn't really matter, but we still lost it. gave our best shot though. i kinda blame it on me, i lost a few balls, a few shots, and can't commit much to anything becuz i was breathless throughout. only managed to sprint a bit at the end when the opponent made a few quick break and that i was the last man on the team since i was running so slow. haha...

now, i'm having sunburn and aching all over.
hmm.. time to train a bit.
i can feel my body weakening ever since i commissioned 4 years ago.
wow, it's been 4 years.
i still don't get how i can pull 12 on the chin-up bar without training.

hmm...

in the recent few years, i realized this is perhaps the first time i have the urge to ask someone out. it's like i lost this feeling during those turbulent times. thinking and thinking about her.. and still i do nothing about it. great. another few weeks of holidays more.

it's like i'm never ready, until it is not necessary to be ready.
it's a decision.
it's a choice.
it's not something you have to wait for.
you just gotta do it.

i know, but i still can't.
oh well. so much for filling up my life with some love elements this early in the year of 2011. i guess i'll stick to games, maybe some knowledge-seeking.

resolutions?

is your life as satisfied as you desired?
ideal. nothing to change.
if so, then resolutions become quite obsolete.

i want to change.
forever changing.
if you stop somewhere,
then you're dead.

there's nothing to laugh about resolutions for me.
if it's for you, then let it be
i crave a goal for my year ahead
to take it seriously, to do it diligently (hopefully)

i don't mind being laughed at.
but i hope you understand the meaning behind that laughter of yours.

Monday, January 3, 2011

如果 . 有个人..

如果有个人让你学会了伪装,

请你离开他,

或许你是真的真的很爱他,

但他并没你想象中的爱你,

一个真正爱你的人,

不可能看不出你的伪装,

更不会让你忍着伤疼地笑...





如果有个人让你学会了妥协,

请你离开他,

或许爱一个人需要包容,

但绝对不是妥协,

只有要两个人达成共识,

那才算是互相包容,

如果只是单方面的守候,

永远会有一方不快乐...





如果有个人让你学会了说谎,

请你离开他,

或许说谎不是你的本意,

但你却没想过谎言,

会衍生更多的误会,

只有坦诚才能让彼此间,

有着强烈的安全感...





如果有个人让你学会了微笑,

请你珍惜他,

因为这世上没什么事情,

能比简单的微笑更幸福,

微笑就是幸福的泉源...





如果有个人让你学会了感动,

请你珍惜他,

因为这样的他一定很细心,

关心你的一切...





如果有个人让你学会了霸道,

请你珍惜他,

因为他付出了无私的爱,

把你给宠上天了...







两个人在一起,

本来就应该是一件幸福的事情,

并在虚伪的世界中活出自我,

沉溺在不停地伪装,妥协与谎言中的爱情,

再甜蜜也不过是人生中的插曲,

永远都不会有携手到老的爱情.