lend a hand

many a times i give all out to help a friend in need.
if there's anything i can do for you, i'll do it.
that's my stand, those are my words.

but recently i've rejected the offer to help
and it always bring me back to what the fortune teller told me
there's a limit to helping other ppl
if you just keep giving help, in the end you're the one who's wasting time and energy on someone, something, that is eventually not worth it.
is that true?

it feels bad and guilty to not lend a helping hand when they need it
particularly for me.
i don't like to ask others for help unless i got overwhelmed.
and asking others for help proved to be more than a simple task of just opening my mouth.
is it a signature of weakness that i thought i'm displaying?
the stereotype of help is given only to the weak may be a bit over
those who need help may not be weak.
similarly i guess, those who are weak may not need help either.

the truth behind her request is something in which if i don't know, my reluctance grows. uncertain of the unknown, and with a history, my hands tighten, my heart hardens, i rejected the offer.

the guilt will wear off. it did so the last time i refused to release my hands.
but it always come around, when she asked for it again.

i ate braised pork noodle, then alfredo for lunch. i'm still full 2 hours before dinner time.