Joke of the day
Passengers on a small commuter plane were waiting for the flight to leave. They were getting a little impatient, but the airport staff had assured them that the pilots would be there soon, and the flight could take off immeidately after that.
The door opened, and two men walked up the aisle dressed in pilot uniforms - both wearing dark glasses. One was using a seeing-eye dog, and the other was tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spread through the cabin as the men entered the cockpit.
The door closed and the engines started up. The passengers began to glance nervously around, searching for some sign that this was just a little practical joke. None was forthcoming.
The plane moved faster and faster down the runway, and the people at the windows realized that they were headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it began to look as though the plane would never take off and that it would plow into the water, panicked screams began to fill the cabin.
At that moment, the plane lifted smoothly into the air. The passengers relaxed and laughed a little sheepishly, and soon they had all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane was in good hands.
Up in the cockput, the co-pilot turned to the pilot and said, "You know Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
Another one~
A woman was very despondent over not having had sex in quite some time. She was becoming agitated and worried that she might never find a mate. In hopes of finding a solution to her problem, she decided that it was time to see a doctor.
Looking thru the phone book, she came upon a Chinese sex therapist named Dr. Chang.
When the woman arrived, she told the doctor her symptoms, and he said, "Takd off all your crothes and you crawl real fass away from me across the froor".
She crawled to the other side of the room and Dr. Chang said,
"Now... you crawl real fass back to me," and she did.
Dr. Chang shook his head and said,
"You haf real bad case of Zachary Disease.... worse case I ever see! That why you haf sex probrem."
The woman was completely confused and asked the doctor exactly what Zachary Disease was and he replied,
"Zachary Disease.... that when your face look ZACHARY rike your butt!"
haha... anyone, had a good laugh? or at least a smile?
don't forget to smile through your days... =)
Life's all about laughter & sadness.
These two things linkz all soulz~
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Sunday, July 8, 2007
My Discomfort - Hurricane, Thunderstorm & Blizzard
feeling a bit of discomfort nowadays...
i guessed it's becuz ATEC is just tml, and i know i'm still not that proficient as a GFAC. i was wondering why in the course they didn't really teach us all the procedures, or was i not paying attention in lectures but busy typing sms. this is quite absurd... i wonder how am i going to go through this evaluation. what if i fail? wthell...
i made a choice to stay in this unit, for this unit. and if i failed, then might as well i just go to air force school right from the start. -_-" haiz... but nvm, now as a gfac, i'm always a gfac, most likely won't have a pc role le.
after watching transformers, i realised that gfac can be the 'one' in the troopers. calling air strikes within minutes, co-ordinating air crafts for pick up, smoke marking, briefing to a/c pilots... he did it so smooth and nice. wthell. i can't do that. too high standard for me. i feel so... lousy. -_-
but all in all, it inspire me to read up on my notes, for a while.
got all my lost data from hl today, all in a disc. hmm...a bit of reminiscence here and there. mum and dad was like looking at the old wooden paintings on the wall and saying how fast 10 years have passed... i looked at the video and realised 6 months were pretty fast too. haha..
time flies, everyone knows... but how to make the time stop? only when you die maybe...
feel like sharing this discomfort of mine... but don't think other than those in army, any one would understand what i'm going through. it's like i'm given a post that i'm half-trained for. the others are all in the manuals that nobody can bring out. haha... haiz.
kristie has been getting a lot of cards from me lately. it amounts to half a thousand! wonder how they play maple... totally out of my league. i refused to use real cash to play game, except for ps2 (which i already did), devil may cry 4 , and ps 3. oh, did i mention before dmc 4 looks fun on ps3? haha...
i'm growing more attached to the camp... someone, just pull me out from my office chair and stop me from doing work.
i guessed it's becuz ATEC is just tml, and i know i'm still not that proficient as a GFAC. i was wondering why in the course they didn't really teach us all the procedures, or was i not paying attention in lectures but busy typing sms. this is quite absurd... i wonder how am i going to go through this evaluation. what if i fail? wthell...
i made a choice to stay in this unit, for this unit. and if i failed, then might as well i just go to air force school right from the start. -_-" haiz... but nvm, now as a gfac, i'm always a gfac, most likely won't have a pc role le.
after watching transformers, i realised that gfac can be the 'one' in the troopers. calling air strikes within minutes, co-ordinating air crafts for pick up, smoke marking, briefing to a/c pilots... he did it so smooth and nice. wthell. i can't do that. too high standard for me. i feel so... lousy. -_-
but all in all, it inspire me to read up on my notes, for a while.
got all my lost data from hl today, all in a disc. hmm...a bit of reminiscence here and there. mum and dad was like looking at the old wooden paintings on the wall and saying how fast 10 years have passed... i looked at the video and realised 6 months were pretty fast too. haha..
time flies, everyone knows... but how to make the time stop? only when you die maybe...
feel like sharing this discomfort of mine... but don't think other than those in army, any one would understand what i'm going through. it's like i'm given a post that i'm half-trained for. the others are all in the manuals that nobody can bring out. haha... haiz.
kristie has been getting a lot of cards from me lately. it amounts to half a thousand! wonder how they play maple... totally out of my league. i refused to use real cash to play game, except for ps2 (which i already did), devil may cry 4 , and ps 3. oh, did i mention before dmc 4 looks fun on ps3? haha...
i'm growing more attached to the camp... someone, just pull me out from my office chair and stop me from doing work.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
hmm.. just plain playing.
Some thing to share before blogging.
Man's Rules and Woman's Code
Man's Rules
Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Sunday=sports. It's like the full moon of the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
We don't remember dates. . . . Period!!
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you wan help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationshop is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, monster trucks.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.
Woman's Code
Invite a man to go shopping with you only if you need someone to carry your packages or drive.
Assure your boyfriend that every female movie star has had a boob job.
When your man asks you what's wrong, say "Nothing." However, when Oprah, Dr. Phil or Dr. Laura asks you, go into excruciating detail. Leave nothing out.
The negative effects of cheese puffs and chocolate-chocolate chop ice cream are offset by the positive effects of diet soda.
Feets are flexible and can be made to fit into shoes varying from size 7 to 9, depending on what's on sale.
You can skimp on clothes, but a good bra is worth its weight in gold. (That's Victoria's secret.)
The Patricia Principle: The more you've been trying to attract the attention of a particular man, the more likely it is that you'll run into him when you're sweaty, short of sleep, without makeup, wearing house-painting clothes, with your hair in a bandana.
The best response to a married man who's hitting on you is, "Say, don't I know your wife?"
Learn how to say "Back off" very loudly and look fierce while you say it.
Let every new man in your life know that you've got a black belt in karate.
Make friends with your hormones. They're what make you colorful and unpredictable. If other people have a hard time with that, that's their problem.
When you hear your mother's words coming out of your mouth, shut your mouth. Unless your mother was really wise.
When in doubt, say no.
You're under no obligation to tell the truth when asked the number of your sexual partners.
Men love a woman who's good in bed. But not the first time they go to bed with her.
No matter how much they fight it, all men need a woman to organize their lives and their closets and tell them what kind of hair products to use.
Consider yourself a sculptor and your man a block of marble. Chip away until you have created someone you can live with. He'll thank you. Later.
Always remember: Inside the biggest, burliest, most macho man lives an ego as delicate and fragile as a baby chick making its first venture outside the egg.
The only women who look good first thing in the morning are women who don't know how to put on makeup.
When splitting a dinner check with girlfriends, it's perfectly acceptable tot take out a calculator.
If you drop your girlfriends as soon as you have a boyfriend, you will live to regret your decision.
Food eaten while preparing other food has no calories.
When consumed for its antioxidant properties, dark chocolate has less fat than broccoli.
It's a medical fact that some women gain weight although they eat only salads.
It's another medical fact that too much lettuce can lead to depression.
Women who never binge have no souls.
Ditto anyone who looks at herself naked in a three-way mirror.
Even Angelina Jolie has some part of her body she hates.
Falling in love is a sure way to lose five pounds.
Black really does make you look thinner.
Alright, i just typed the whole thingy out. practising my typing as always. really have nothing much to do except just to wait and wait...
been playing GE for the past 3 days. amazingly, i've reached lvl 30. from a lvl 20+ on friday. looks like i'm playing too much. so much, i think i'm turning into the me who was crazy on Priston Tale years ago. play these games for days and hours during the holidays, sooner or later, i'll turn into someone with a very short temper and perhaps 2 weeks later, i'll just get a fever and realised i've been playing too much. well, booking into camp stopped all these though. i have at most 3 consecutive days to play. -_-"
third time for facial. it's as pain as usual. i don't really like the aftermath of it. my face is just full of red dotz. going there was kinda dumb, i waited around 15 min outside, then i caught on the idea of my friend was already inside. i was on time! i sweared! haha...
these few days have been quite humid and hot. even riding the bicycle to cwp and back makes me sweat while waiting for the train. -_-
some changes around the house.. my room is now crammed with lots of cupboards. before that wall was built, i actually wanted someone to come take a last look at it. i suppose it's more of witnessing the past, present, and the future me. kinda like a representation. haha... it just feels weird. the corridor ain't that long anymore. i can no longer dash like crazy across from my room, along the corridor, past the kitchen, my sis's room, into my parent's room, and jump into my parent's bed as i used to... i can't do it before the wall was built, it may probably just destroy my parent's bedframe. i'm not that small now. hahaha...
still waiting for a right time...
my pilot application is delayed. oh shitz. i'm just doing nothing on that piece of paper.
been drinking too much milo nowadays. been feeling hungry now and then. felt bored and kept doing sudoku. some improvements but still damn slow. condor heroes is still as nice to watch.
~ai bu dao, fang bu liao. wang bu liao, ni de hao~
Man's Rules and Woman's Code
Man's Rules
Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Sunday=sports. It's like the full moon of the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
We don't remember dates. . . . Period!!
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you wan help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationshop is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, monster trucks.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.
Woman's Code
Invite a man to go shopping with you only if you need someone to carry your packages or drive.
Assure your boyfriend that every female movie star has had a boob job.
When your man asks you what's wrong, say "Nothing." However, when Oprah, Dr. Phil or Dr. Laura asks you, go into excruciating detail. Leave nothing out.
The negative effects of cheese puffs and chocolate-chocolate chop ice cream are offset by the positive effects of diet soda.
Feets are flexible and can be made to fit into shoes varying from size 7 to 9, depending on what's on sale.
You can skimp on clothes, but a good bra is worth its weight in gold. (That's Victoria's secret.)
The Patricia Principle: The more you've been trying to attract the attention of a particular man, the more likely it is that you'll run into him when you're sweaty, short of sleep, without makeup, wearing house-painting clothes, with your hair in a bandana.
The best response to a married man who's hitting on you is, "Say, don't I know your wife?"
Learn how to say "Back off" very loudly and look fierce while you say it.
Let every new man in your life know that you've got a black belt in karate.
Make friends with your hormones. They're what make you colorful and unpredictable. If other people have a hard time with that, that's their problem.
When you hear your mother's words coming out of your mouth, shut your mouth. Unless your mother was really wise.
When in doubt, say no.
You're under no obligation to tell the truth when asked the number of your sexual partners.
Men love a woman who's good in bed. But not the first time they go to bed with her.
No matter how much they fight it, all men need a woman to organize their lives and their closets and tell them what kind of hair products to use.
Consider yourself a sculptor and your man a block of marble. Chip away until you have created someone you can live with. He'll thank you. Later.
Always remember: Inside the biggest, burliest, most macho man lives an ego as delicate and fragile as a baby chick making its first venture outside the egg.
The only women who look good first thing in the morning are women who don't know how to put on makeup.
When splitting a dinner check with girlfriends, it's perfectly acceptable tot take out a calculator.
If you drop your girlfriends as soon as you have a boyfriend, you will live to regret your decision.
Food eaten while preparing other food has no calories.
When consumed for its antioxidant properties, dark chocolate has less fat than broccoli.
It's a medical fact that some women gain weight although they eat only salads.
It's another medical fact that too much lettuce can lead to depression.
Women who never binge have no souls.
Ditto anyone who looks at herself naked in a three-way mirror.
Even Angelina Jolie has some part of her body she hates.
Falling in love is a sure way to lose five pounds.
Black really does make you look thinner.
Alright, i just typed the whole thingy out. practising my typing as always. really have nothing much to do except just to wait and wait...
been playing GE for the past 3 days. amazingly, i've reached lvl 30. from a lvl 20+ on friday. looks like i'm playing too much. so much, i think i'm turning into the me who was crazy on Priston Tale years ago. play these games for days and hours during the holidays, sooner or later, i'll turn into someone with a very short temper and perhaps 2 weeks later, i'll just get a fever and realised i've been playing too much. well, booking into camp stopped all these though. i have at most 3 consecutive days to play. -_-"
third time for facial. it's as pain as usual. i don't really like the aftermath of it. my face is just full of red dotz. going there was kinda dumb, i waited around 15 min outside, then i caught on the idea of my friend was already inside. i was on time! i sweared! haha...
these few days have been quite humid and hot. even riding the bicycle to cwp and back makes me sweat while waiting for the train. -_-
some changes around the house.. my room is now crammed with lots of cupboards. before that wall was built, i actually wanted someone to come take a last look at it. i suppose it's more of witnessing the past, present, and the future me. kinda like a representation. haha... it just feels weird. the corridor ain't that long anymore. i can no longer dash like crazy across from my room, along the corridor, past the kitchen, my sis's room, into my parent's room, and jump into my parent's bed as i used to... i can't do it before the wall was built, it may probably just destroy my parent's bedframe. i'm not that small now. hahaha...
still waiting for a right time...
my pilot application is delayed. oh shitz. i'm just doing nothing on that piece of paper.
been drinking too much milo nowadays. been feeling hungry now and then. felt bored and kept doing sudoku. some improvements but still damn slow. condor heroes is still as nice to watch.
~ai bu dao, fang bu liao. wang bu liao, ni de hao~
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