Sunday, another day

Some things... you just can't resist... :)

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The Date: Her Story / His Story

A couple have been in a relationship for about four months now. One friday night they meet at a bar after work. They stay for a few, then go on to get some food at a local restaurant near their respective houses. They eat, then go back to his house and she stays over.

Her story:

Well Ed was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I wa a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it, but the conversation was quite slow going. I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he's still a bit funny and I'm trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it's me or something so I ask him and he says no but you know I'm not really sure, so anyway, in the cab back to his house I say that I love him and he just puts his arm around me and I don't konw what the hell that means because, you know, he doesn't say it back or anything so when we get back to his place I'm wondering if he's going off me and so I try to ask him about it but he just switches on the TV and so I say I'm going to go to sleep and after about 10 minutes he joins me and we have sex, but he seemed really distracted and so afterwards I just want to leave and, I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else ???

His story:

Shit day at work. Great fuck later.

~
Mrs Morgenstein goes into Shecky's Deli at 9 am. and asks Shecky for a dozen bagels. Shecky replies,

"Sorry Mrs. Morgenstein, we're out of bagels till 12 o'clock."

Mrs Morgenstein is back at 10 am. and asks Shecky for a dozen bagels, and Shecky answers,

"Sorry Mrs. Morgenstein, we're out of bagels till 12 o'clock."

Again at 11 am. Mrs. Morgenstein goes into the deli and asks Shecky for a dozen bagels. Shecky replies.

"Mrs. Morgenstein, how do you spell 'cat' as in catastrophe?"

"C-A-T"

"Very good Mrs. Morgenstein, now how do you spell 'dog' as in dogmatic?"

"D-O-G"

"Right Mrs. Morgenstein, now how do you spell 'fuck' as in bagels?"

"There isn't any fuck in bagels!" replies Mrs. Morgenstein.

"Exactly Mrs. Morgenstein. Come back at 12 o'clock."

~
The preacher was preaching with all his might. The subject was SIN, and he was most certainly 'against' it.

A girl, with a wonderful figure, and not nearly enough clothes to hide much skin, came in late. She strode down the center aisle. close to the front, and sat down.

It was plain to the preacher that he has lost the men in his audience to this voluptuous sex-object.

He shook a fist at her and said, "You are the Jezebel the good book tells us about. You have got the mind of every man in this building on evil thoughts and not good thoughts. But I am a man of God! You don't affect me, and right now up in Heaven, Saint Finger is shaking his Peter at you!!"

~
Two Bosnian soldiers were dug out in a hole in the middle of a battlefield, when one turns round to the other and says,

"I'm really dying for a shit!"

The other says "Well, you're not doing it here! You'll have to go across the battle field and find somewhere else. I'll cover you!"

So off the first soldier goes across the battlefield and disappears over a hill.

10 minutes pass and no sign of the soldier, his friend is getting uneasy.

20 minutes pass and still no sign of the soldier, his friend is now very worried and thinks his friend is dead.

30 minutes later he spots his friend's head popup from behind the hill, and then watches as he runs back across the field as fast as he can and dives into the hole.

"What happened?", said the second soldier, "I thought you were dead."

"Well, you're not going to believe this but as I dived over that hill to have a shit I cam across a beautiful woman. I was overcome with passion and I made love to her in all positions, from the front, from behind..."

"Did you get a blow job?"

"No, I couldn't find her head!!!"

that's all for now.
Gotta get that bicycle from my uncle soon..
i just wanna feel the breeze~