i'm in deep shit

i woke up with the attitude that, 'oh, another week just started....'
when i checked my internship application again, it said the deadline was this morn, 10am.
i remembered it being in the night.
the next moment i shifted my attention to the lower right of the monitor to check the time.
10.16am. couldn't forget the sight.
i was 16 minutes late.
in a desperate attempt to log in and try my luck to see if i can still apply, the ntu server denied any hope of that.
then i thought of calling the office up to ask them if i can apply, it's only a few minutes late.
but i hestitated.
still hoping that the m-lab over at hong kong could perhaps open an intern position for a psychology student.
seriously, there's little hope in this.
it's a digital company, not really those mainstream psychology internships.
and i don't even know if there's an internship offer.
my immediate superior introduced this company to me during my callback on sat and he did me a favor by asking them if they could accept psycho interns.
he said, "fingers crossed".

now, to logically compare btw the choices.
for school, i could say i'm almost 100% confirmed to get an internship, somewhere.
perhaps not as interesting as i wanted, or in my field of interests.
for m-lab, it's almost all that i could ask for. except i don't have the IT abilities, just the psychological theories, which i'm not even proficient in.
furthermore, m-lab might not even accept me even if they are open for interns.

the safe choice is definitely to go with the school.
but the possiblity of going to m-lab is too good to miss.
the experience would be so much more fulfilling than any of those open in phase 2 of the sch internship programmes.
hard choice to make.

but anyway, destiny has actually decided for me what the choice is gonna be when i realized i was late for phase 2 registration. cuz if i registered for phase 2, i can't back up from it if i get selected. i seriously wonder what they can do if i do back up from the programmes. they gonna charge me? haha..

now i'm having this terrible discomfort that has been surrounding my thoughts the whole day. i distracted myself by playing the rpg game on my iphone. which is obviously deterring me from doing my school work, thus, i'm back to worrying about my internship, and trying to see other possiblities. mindef talk is coming up, i signed up for it. maybe this is my backup. if the m-lab doesn't reply by 31st mar, then perhaps i'll try for mindef. not my 1st choice, but kinda my only choice besides going to hong kong. other than these two, would be contacting some of the companies that actually were offering intership programmes, but now i would ask them for actual part-time work placement. i don't really care about chopping those 5 school credits during the internship. even if the school doesn't approve it, internships are still pretty valuable as an experience.

to sum it up.
i have low possibility of getting an intern position.
which means i'm in deep shit.
if the m-lab accepts me,
i'm so gonna work my ass off for them.

haha... life's full of shits like this when you don't really pay attention to it.
sometimes i think it's fun to suddenly realize this kind of things rather than anticipate events, plan them in advance... not to say just passively wait for things to happen. but to work towards events, and still allow life to fill you in with other opportunities.

what's the worst that could happen>
i'll be free from late may to early august.
hahaha...
that actually means i'm free to join the guys for taiwan.
whee~