i'm the one who's feeling lost, right now.

i won't forget the way you're kissing
the feelings so strong were lasting for so long
but i'm not the man your heart is missing
that's why you go away i know

There is so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

~some lyrics from "That's why you go away" by Michael Learn to Rock.

listening to old classic love songs in the early morn~
had to cancelled my tuition on monday night becuz i found that it was too rush.
got a presentation on tuesday and test too. 3 tests, i only read the txtbk of one. and one of them got 2 txt bks to read up. -_- and the next one i'm gonna read got 300+ pages to read thru. -_- i hate procrastination when tests are near.

now let's put this kind of feeling into something i've been reading for my test.
cognitive dissonance. for those non-psychos, you probably have no idea what's this. it's something like... your behaviour doesn't matches your attitude, doesn't go along with it. for example, you, or me, saw a beautiful female stranger lying on the bed, naked. however, you didn't do anything. why? was it that you're gay? most probably not. your mind should be thinking "Let's do it!". but your behaviour ain't showing it. what's stopping you? also beside the mismatch btw behaviour and attitude, you will also be feeling distress on the whole thing. now, humans will tend to try to reduce this distress by a couple of methods. but i will just state one of them. there's probably a need to justify you not doing it. your own values (morals, ethics) or your other attitudes (the lady might have aids), etc. if the justification is significant enough, then, you won't do it.

if not, then wtheck.