A little lost

Today's the first day of my temp job as an assistant data analyst over at the public service division under pm's office. Waited around most of the time for the admin stuff, tried to understand the procedures of the ongoing project. At the moment, the things to settle are mostly administrative and logistics stuff pertaining to the collection of data, i.e. giving out surveys to be filled. So not really analysing work in that sense. Feel okay, saw 3 familiar faces, all 3 in the same cluster group as me working closely on the project.

The office has a special working environment. There are many clusters in the office, but there are no permanent seats for us except the room for directors or their pa. So basically, every morning we just go into office and sit whenever we want as long as it is unoccupied. Quite a pretty cool concept, but maybe I'll just stay in one place. Haha..

Felt a little lost in the morning. Not because of the new working environment, but because I received the rejection letter from spf. I was rejected to be a senior officer. The reason immediately went to the things I said during the manpower interview. Perhaps because I talked about the bond, perhaps it was my appendix surgery, perhaps they just don't like me. Tried to shake off these feelings with the feelings of novelty being in a whole new environment. Worked somehow, but still kinda down when I think about it. Well, at least now I don't have to worry about shift hours.

Yn was rather sad when she heard the news too. But she kept her tears till at night when we were talking over the phone. It felt better to have someone sharing the sadness. But we kinda have different views when her mum asked me to go visit a fortune teller . I was reluctant to because I don't really believe and even if it helps, I hope that I can do it on my own accord instead of borrowing help. Her mum was pretty insistent too, let's see how after the Beijing trip.

My recent happenings

Alright, i admit, I've been lazy in updating this blog and giving my life a review. But after filling up my g50 form for my police interview, I realized that a blog is a useful tool to keep track of my happenings, and when I need, I can go to the archive and refer. Haha..

So, as for the most exciting thing that happened recently..

Last week wed morn at around 3.30am, I woke up feeling pain in my stomach. It was to the extent of not being able to fall back asleep. I got up, drank some water, contemplated on taking some of my constipation medicine which I got on my last hospitalization, walked around with my arms around my stomach as I groaned in pain from time to time. I felt that the pain wasn't really like the last time, so most probably it wasnt constipation. Then what is it? I then have thoughts about going down to the nearest hospital to check it out. After one hour of awaken torment, I decided I couldn't tolerate any longer. Here's the part I made the biggest mistake in this incident. I wrote on the white board to tell my family I went to the hospital because my stomach hurts. I got all kinds of reprimand from my family and relatives, especially my parents, on going down to the hospital on my on and not telling them immediately. I have a funny way of asserting independence. Haha.. Msged yn on the cab there to tell her about it also. It was a short and long trip down to ktp hospital a&e. Short cause it's near, long because for every traffic light we stop at, im in pain. Acute pain. When I finally arrived, I was kinda glad the place was almost a ghost town. I thought I could see the doc almost immediately. Still, following the procedures and waiting, it took me maybe 30 minutes to receive two injections of what I think are pain killers to ease my pain. First diagnosis, abdominal cramps. First thought, I'm not a woman, is this possible? Well, I went back out to the waiting area to sit and groaned from time to time looking like I'm really in pain. Eventually the nurse came over and offered me to go to a temp ward to lie down. I agreed and then went into the single room and groaned further as the pain aggravated to a new level. Super pain. Thereafter, the doctor suspect it's probably something more serious. Oh, not to forget my mum called me immediately, shocked my dad about me in the hospital, brought my sis down too, my dear yn calling and msging frantically once she saw the MSG. Haha.. They came and scolded me not telling. Inlay there in pain, rolling from side to side as my family and yn watched. Haha.. Went for a ct scan, invasive procedure with the tracker running through me. Kinda weird feeling, sort of warm and fuzzy. They determined it was acute appendicitis, then told me I need a surgery which can only happen at 2pm. So yup, I hung in there till around that time. Surgery was around 3 hours, I rmbed breathing in the stupid gas mask again and feeling anxious lying there, almost naked, with a bunch of ppl going to open my stomach up. For a few good seconds, I thought, why the hell am I no sedated yet? Next moment, I'm bein wheeled into my ward and saw my family standing there. Woke up, and felt like shit. Stomach felt seriously weird and pain, no strength to sit up, just enough to keep myself awake as my relatives came one after another. At night i couldn't really sleep well. I need to pee but the general anesthesia kept my muscles from peeing smoothly. I couldn't pee at first lying down. Until the nurse told me to sit up by the bed and pee, other wise the doctor is gonna stick a tube up. That's a great motivation I thought. I sat there for as long as 30 minutes and was kinda proud to be able to pee out a substantial amount. Pretty relieved about not having a tube up, and found it easier to sleep. The following day got a visit from yn and we were quite worried about the Beijing trip we had planned the following Friday.

Well, as of now, we managed to shift the beijing trip to 4 aug, settled the accommodation too. Resting well at home, able to move around on the morning after my operation, but am more mobile now. Cuts seemed to heal pretty well. Glad that all these are over~

And here are some updates on my jobs seeking. Kinda gave up my chance at Forbes research. Went to police selection assessment 2 weeks before on the wed, finally got a email to say I'm selected for the interview with acting director of manpower just a few days back. The interview is tml. Applied for a temp job at the public service division under pm's office to keep me busy. Seemed like I might have a good chance because I realized a former senior colleague from
Mindef is working there now and I made known to him I applied. We talked a bit over Facebook and now settling on the hourly salary. Hope I can get it! And at a good rate! Police psych also made an offer and I applied again. I was thinking, if both police and police psych offer me, which one should I take? The 3.8k salary does attracts me quite a bit. Hahaha...

Oh ya, was having grad trip at Phuket and Thailand some weeks back with the guys. Quite an enjoyable 7-8 days. Phuket was more fun, with the atv and river rafting. The sea canoe sucked. Shopping at bkk wasn't really my thing, but still okay. It was nice just going overseas and relaxing. But it's not that fun being overseas and quarreling with her over whatsapp. Haha.. It's always better to call. And the fact that we're not in the same country doesn't help also.

That's about all for now as I sit on the train going to meet my army dudes. QM is back~!

2 korean songs to introduce

was feeling bored and tried to search cast of running men on youtube and this led me to these 2 rather nice songs sang by the group leessang, of which one of the member, gary, is part of the permanent cast in running men.

First song,

헤어지지 못하는 여자 떠나가지 못하는 남자 

The girl who can't break up, The guy who can't leave

정인:
헤어지지 못하는 여자, 떠나가지 못하는 남자
사랑하지 않는 우리 그래서 no no no no no no
(x2)

개리:
우린 삼백만원짜리 중고차로 함께
어디든 다녔지 남부럽지 않게 
팔짱을 끼고 한장의 사진에 추억을 담고
밤잠을 설쳐가며 서로를 알아가고
내 꿈은 너의 미래가 되어
우린 서로를 따르는 한쌍의 아름다운 새였어
채워져도 부족했던 사랑 
다시 태어나도 만나고픈 사람
하지만 세월 앞에서는 역시 
서로의 욕심을 이기지 못해
욕실에 홀로 앉아 우는 너의 울음 소리 
나를 쏘아보는 눈초리
날이 갈수록 더 난 또 이별을 생각해 하루종일

길:
태양은 뜨거운데 니 맘은 얼어있네
누구의 잘못인지 사랑하긴 하는데 baby
모든게 그대론데 우리는 변해있네
누구의 잘못인지 사랑하긴 하는데 baby

정인:
헤어지지 못하는 여자, 떠나가지 못하는 남자
사랑하지 않는 우리 그래서 no no no no no no
(x2)

개리:
때론 너무나 바빠 너에게 미안해
지갑에 돈을 채우고 시간을 내
티나게 사랑을 표현 못해도
너와 함께 영화를 보고 밥을 먹으면
니 기분이 풀릴거라 여기던 
내 생각은 또 빗나가
거리를 거닐며 너에게 장난을 쳐도
진부한 사랑 놀이 
사랑은 한때 사랑은 이별과 한패
이별은 사랑을 데리고 가는데

길:
태양은 뜨거운데 니 맘은 얼어있네
누구의 잘못인지 사랑하긴 하는데 baby
모든게 그대론데 우리는 변해있네
누구의 잘못인지 사랑하긴 하는데 baby

정인:
헤어지지 못하는 여자, 떠나가지 못하는 남자
사랑하지 않는 우리 그래서 no no no no no no
(x2)

길:
사랑은 한때 사랑은 이별과 한패
이별은 사랑은 데리고 갔네
(x2)

개리:
버리면 버려지는게 사랑이라면 얼마나 좋을까
(모두 꿈인데 니 손을 잡은 건)
원하면 얻어지는게 사랑이라면 얼마나 좋을까
(모두 꿈인데 나는 벗어나지 못하네)

정인:
헤어지지 못하는 여자, 떠나가지 못하는 남자
사랑하지 않는 우리 그래서 no no no no no no
(x2)

no no no~ no no no~ 
no no no~ no no no~ 
oh yeh~

개리:
사랑에 묶이는 남자는 약해 빠진걸까
사랑을 굶기는 남자는 무능력한걸까
비밀을 숨기는 남자는 나 뿐인걸까
사랑 대체 왜 변하는걸까

English Translation: 

The girl who can’t say good bye
The boy that can’t leave
The two of us are no longer in love
So no no no no no no (x2)

Anywhere together in a 3000 dollar used car
Without a care in the world
Linking arms, committing memories in a photo
Understanding each other in our sleepless nights
My dreams became your future
A pair of beautiful birds chasing each other
A love I could never get enough of
A person I want to meet when reborn
But in front of this thing called time
We can’t win against our greed
Sounds of your tears alone in the bathroom
The suspicious gazes focused on me
As the days go by I think of breaking up again

The sun is hot but your heart is frozen
Whose fault is this? But I love you baby
Everything else is the same but we changed
Whose fault is this? I still love you baby

The girl who can’t say good bye
The boy that can’t leave
The two of us are no longer in love
So no no no no no no (x2)

I’m so busy that I feel guilty
I fill my wallet with money and make some time
Even though I don’t express my love
When I have dinner and watch a movie with you
I hope you might feel better but
I continue to be in debt to my thoughts
As I walk and tease you
it’s all a played out game
Love is passing,
Love and heartbreak are one and the same
Heartbreak takes love and goes away.

The sun is hot but your heart is frozen
Whose fault is this? But I love you baby
Everything else is the same but we changed
Whose fault is this? I still love you baby

The girl who can’t say good bye
The boy that can’t leave
The two of us are no longer in love
So no no no no no no (x2)

Love is passing,
Love and heartbreak are one and the same
Heartbreak takes love and goes away. (x2)

How nice would it be if love
was something that could be earned?
(It’s all a dream, holding your hand)
How nice would it be
if love was something to get by wanting it?
(It’s all a dream but I can’t escape)

The girl who can’t say good bye
The boy that can’t leave
The two of us are no longer in love
So no no no no no no (x2)

Are men caught in love done so because of weakness?
Are men starved of love not worthy of it?
Are men that keep secrets bad men?
Why is it that love changes?

Not sure if the english translation is accurate, but the song is really catchy. maybe someday i'll revise a my korean and try to sing along~

Second song,

TV를 껐네

Turned off the TV

There're lyrics in video so i'll just save the trouble of pasting them here. 

I was captured by the song title, but by the sheer number of hits on this video on youtube while listening to the song above.

when i clicked on the link, i was further captivated by this description of the video...

"The song "Turned off the TV" -- an radical expression through conversational lyrics between a man true to his instincts and the woman's logical persuasion"

I have no idea what idea what it means. so, while the song is playing in the background in a language which i could only catch some simple phrase that i know, i went in search of the meaning behind the meaning of the song. however, all i got was just similar meanings of the description. it was until i saw a comment which said that the song is about the guy wanting to have sex but the girl just wanna cuddle.

it struck me. oh~

and this youtube video has the chinese translated lyrics so it was more clear of what the lyrics were about, or what the story that the song wants to convey. felt that the lyrics were quite nicely written. the desires of the man, the persuasion of the lady.

well, it's been quite a while.

i'm still in the process of finding a job.

was wondering what to do and suddenly joining the police became a viable option.

masters in forensics psych, then joining the psych department in police or bsu?

seems like another long journey~

had a 2 weeks vacation, although the first week was spent at sungei gedong. but it was fun spending time with the guys again. was quite a relaxing incamp with nothing much to do. 

 the second week was spent at phuket and then bangkok with the guys. i personally felt phuket was a more fun place than bangkok, filled with possible activities and the beach. a pity we didnt spend much time at the beach due to little time we have left after the day activities and also when we had, the weather became a problem. the rain just kept coming and going off randomly. bangkok was more of shopping shopping and shopping. the visit to the floating market was a downer. the temple we visited, wat pho, was quite boring with the statues until we found out the main attraction; the reclining buddha. and it was huge! overall, good trip still.

in a month time, will be leaving for beijing with yun na~ another one week! actually the main thing isn't because it's a holiday for me. the main thing is spending special time and having memorable events with someone i love.

drew up the blue print for wu gui's platform. so the problem now is, how to make it? hahaha... i guess i'll just anyhow whack lah. it's been on my mind for so long, finally it's starting to materialize.

ippt deadline is coming soon also. i believed august 1st is my last day.

and i'm running damn slow.

still rather taken aback by the fact that i ran silver last year. 

how did i do it? 

although i did visualize her standing at the end waiting for me, but it didn't really work much this time in camp. hahaha.. looks like motivation is one thing, another thing is having the physique to do it too. 

i can't fail. i can't fail. i dont want 20 RT sessions. 

life's rather relaxing, but i'm running out of money for my life to be like that.

plus it doesn't feel good to be worrying about my future also.

it's a period of rest, and unrest.

a beautiful song for you and me

We Build Demonstration by Nichole Nordeman

and i hope in the future to come
for any troubles that come along
this bond we have between you and i
shall stay good, and stay true.

for every mistakes that we make along the way
we build towards a better future
if you will, i will, build.

future me and clothes

i've always appreciated the light comedy of baby blues over the years.
and here's something that i thought would happen.

can only put the link below as the website doesn't allow posting of their comic strips elsewhere.

http://www.babyblues.com/archive/index.php?formname=getstrip&GoToDay=04/27/2012

Last day of my undergraduate life.

First day of my unemployed life.

well, things didn't start off too well.
first, the malay paper was hard -_- i couldnt make out most of the words.
plus the list of words that i memorized for 1 hour or so only came up for 40% for intended questions!
wthell? so many unseen before words...

second, i lost terribly in mahjong.
i can't rmb if this is the first time, but i cleared my chips.
all 100 bucks of it.
just nice at the end -_-

at this point of my life, i'm unemployed, have lots of things that i want to do but need money.
so, i've decided to keep mahjong away for a while.
a long while.
been losing continuously for a few weeks and i believed my losses can go up to 200 just this month alone.

the day wasn't too well for yn also.
when she's down, i would have the urge to rush to her side and give her the comfort she needs.

A-Lin《等你》

just as i was studying my malay while listening to the radio...
(yes, it's not really conducive to study malay with chinese songs playing in the background, but nvm)
this song came into play and it sounded really nice.

so here it is~

and the blogspot has changed its editing interface again.