it's just a feeling.
i've been contemplating asking her out for so long, i think i'll just put it aside for the moment. and just simply hope next sem i'll see her in school or something.
may destiny brings us two together somehow.
this is my christmas wish.
something gotta change before i should start considering dating again.
me. i gotta change.
and for some reason, i hate it when i don't know how to approach a girl.
especially for a girl whom i have been contemplating for so long.
remark to self.
you suck.
remark back to remarker.
you too.
before i get schizophrenic and start talking to myself and doing crazy things in my room due to post-exam repression of feelings, i think i bettr go out.
a friend mentioned this to me after the last paper yesterday.
"just go get a girl"
i was thinking,
"hmmm... i hope she drop from the sky and landed right in front of me."
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
3rd day of exam marathon
well, 3 papers straight. damn, the first two was easy, but the third is shit.
i wasted energy memoring stuffs that didn't come out.
should have known, the questions won't be so direct.
slept only 3-4 hours for 2 nights.
still feel pretty good now, except that i was acting half-dead on my way back from home just now. but still was a good chat with a new found friend, michelle, if i remembered correctly. not that i just befriend some random female who's beside me, but it's kinda like a friend's friend situation.
oh ya, i think i got molested on the train the day before when this sec school girl was standing so close to me with her behind. i got cornered by her butt, several times. so helpless, no where to hide or run. damn you evening train!
well, last paper tml.
4 days in a row.
i'm not sure how bad is this, compared to john's 3 in a day.
if it weren't all content-heavy modules, i bet i would be quite ectastic to take on the 3 papers.
but with exam like abnormal psych, i'll take my chances on separate days.
too much damn stuffs to memorise.
clinical psych~! blah blah blah~!
i wasted energy memoring stuffs that didn't come out.
should have known, the questions won't be so direct.
slept only 3-4 hours for 2 nights.
still feel pretty good now, except that i was acting half-dead on my way back from home just now. but still was a good chat with a new found friend, michelle, if i remembered correctly. not that i just befriend some random female who's beside me, but it's kinda like a friend's friend situation.
oh ya, i think i got molested on the train the day before when this sec school girl was standing so close to me with her behind. i got cornered by her butt, several times. so helpless, no where to hide or run. damn you evening train!
well, last paper tml.
4 days in a row.
i'm not sure how bad is this, compared to john's 3 in a day.
if it weren't all content-heavy modules, i bet i would be quite ectastic to take on the 3 papers.
but with exam like abnormal psych, i'll take my chances on separate days.
too much damn stuffs to memorise.
clinical psych~! blah blah blah~!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
happy birthday ah ma~!
seconds have just passed after my ah ma's birthday.
big aunt bought her a piece of chocolate cake, and we sang a simple birthday song.
lots of food. the soup was especially nice, chicken mushroom, fishball.
the taste was almost similar to how she used to cook it.
i wonder if she heard it.
maybe i will dream of her tonight if i just think of her hard enough before i fall asleep. and i would believe it's her coming back and seeing me.
and i'm starting to tear up again...
i miss you.
even though we hardly meet each other in recent years.
i still miss you.
now, more than ever.
big aunt bought her a piece of chocolate cake, and we sang a simple birthday song.
lots of food. the soup was especially nice, chicken mushroom, fishball.
the taste was almost similar to how she used to cook it.
i wonder if she heard it.
maybe i will dream of her tonight if i just think of her hard enough before i fall asleep. and i would believe it's her coming back and seeing me.
and i'm starting to tear up again...
i miss you.
even though we hardly meet each other in recent years.
i still miss you.
now, more than ever.
Friday, December 17, 2010
procrastination~!
just spent more than 2 hours laughing at youtube videos of 'whose line is it anyway'.
worth the time.
sometimes, when i don't have a clear direction of how to study for exams, i escape by humoring myself.
then when it gets too late, i tell myself to go to bed. like now.
worth the time.
sometimes, when i don't have a clear direction of how to study for exams, i escape by humoring myself.
then when it gets too late, i tell myself to go to bed. like now.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
送给男生女生的话..
女孩应该懂的：
1、一个女人如果第一眼就让男人想到性，那么她是很失败的。
2、当你从床上下来那一刻，你在他心中就开始贬值了。如果你把一切都给了现在的男友，那么，除了老公这个称呼你还能留给你未来的丈夫?
3、一个女人的品位在于她身边站着一个怎样品位的男人。女人一生最成功的事情之一，便是选了一个对的男人。
4、一个男人爱你的时候，你往往会感动于细节，同样，一个男人不爱你了，你也可以从细节中来发现。
5、想了解一个男人的好坏，先去看他身边是一群怎样的朋友。
6、女人的友情来的快，去的也快。其实男女感情远没有你跟姐妹的感情可靠，所以，珍惜你们之间的友情吧。
7、把买化妆品的钱去买两本好书，漂亮的容颜固然可以让人眼前一亮，丰富的内涵却能让人经久不忘。
8、虚伪的男人总倾向于喜欢你的容貌，真正的男人总倾向于爱你的内心。
9、男人没有你想象的那样好，可以真爱，但不要深爱，在爱情里为自己留个退路，否则受伤时会措手不及。
10、不要相信男人的甜言蜜语，面对喜欢的女孩时，不认识字的男人也会变成一个诗人。而诗人本来就不生活在现实中。
11、去发现一个有潜力的男人，往往比去傍大款更切合实际。并且你会更有成就感。
12、随时预防遇到色狼。必要时向他胯下踢，用力程度自己把握。
13、这个世界上，最值得你爱的，除了父母，只有你自己。
14、爱情不是追来的，所以，永远不要认为被男孩追是理所当然的。但是，你对他的考验是必须的。
15、当一个清高的女孩遇到一个高傲的男孩时，总有一个人会卑微下来，但是如果可以, 不要把自己放得太低。
16、在爱情里，永远不要抱怨什么。
17、爱情，是需要用心经营的。恋爱也是一门艺术.
男孩应该懂的：
1、如果，你不能给她一个美好的未来，那么，请不要把她哄上床。
2、不能做到的，就不要承诺。男人，膝下有黄金，嘴里也有黄金，不要轻易答应什么，因为你可能会食言
3、把她的地位放在游戏之上，毕竟她是那个肯能会陪你一辈子的人，游戏只是消遣罢了。。
4、你可以为了父母去教训自己的爱人，但是不能为了爱人去背弃自己的父母。如果她对你父母一直不好，那么她可以离开了。
5、如果不是生在帝王富贵家，那么找女朋友，不要只看重她的长相，而要学会欣赏她的内涵。你找伴侣，不是在找情人，而应该是在找妻子。。
6、一个成功的男人身边，需要一个相对优秀的女人。而这种优秀，与她的容貌无关，与她的内涵相连。
7、哥们，如果不擅长讨女孩欢心，那就去讨自己的未来欢心吧。男人，不是来征服女人的，而是来征服世界的。
8、你一生担负的责任很多，但最重要的是四个，对自己的父母负责，对自己的未来负责，对自己的女人和感情负责，对这个世界负责。
9、不要总想着玩弄感情，小心它有天会玩弄了你。
10、物以类聚，人以群分，这句话对男人很贴切。跟上进的人交朋友，跟有人生品位的人交朋友，你会获益很多。
11、这个世界上，最值得你爱的，除了父母，还有自己的女人和哥们，然后才是你自己。
12、爱情不是追来的。如果你死皮赖脸追求了很久，她却无动于衷，那么哥们，放下吧。有时，咱男人的尊严比一个女人更重要。。
1、一个女人如果第一眼就让男人想到性，那么她是很失败的。
2、当你从床上下来那一刻，你在他心中就开始贬值了。如果你把一切都给了现在的男友，那么，除了老公这个称呼你还能留给你未来的丈夫?
3、一个女人的品位在于她身边站着一个怎样品位的男人。女人一生最成功的事情之一，便是选了一个对的男人。
4、一个男人爱你的时候，你往往会感动于细节，同样，一个男人不爱你了，你也可以从细节中来发现。
5、想了解一个男人的好坏，先去看他身边是一群怎样的朋友。
6、女人的友情来的快，去的也快。其实男女感情远没有你跟姐妹的感情可靠，所以，珍惜你们之间的友情吧。
7、把买化妆品的钱去买两本好书，漂亮的容颜固然可以让人眼前一亮，丰富的内涵却能让人经久不忘。
8、虚伪的男人总倾向于喜欢你的容貌，真正的男人总倾向于爱你的内心。
9、男人没有你想象的那样好，可以真爱，但不要深爱，在爱情里为自己留个退路，否则受伤时会措手不及。
10、不要相信男人的甜言蜜语，面对喜欢的女孩时，不认识字的男人也会变成一个诗人。而诗人本来就不生活在现实中。
11、去发现一个有潜力的男人，往往比去傍大款更切合实际。并且你会更有成就感。
12、随时预防遇到色狼。必要时向他胯下踢，用力程度自己把握。
13、这个世界上，最值得你爱的，除了父母，只有你自己。
14、爱情不是追来的，所以，永远不要认为被男孩追是理所当然的。但是，你对他的考验是必须的。
15、当一个清高的女孩遇到一个高傲的男孩时，总有一个人会卑微下来，但是如果可以, 不要把自己放得太低。
16、在爱情里，永远不要抱怨什么。
17、爱情，是需要用心经营的。恋爱也是一门艺术.
男孩应该懂的：
1、如果，你不能给她一个美好的未来，那么，请不要把她哄上床。
2、不能做到的，就不要承诺。男人，膝下有黄金，嘴里也有黄金，不要轻易答应什么，因为你可能会食言
3、把她的地位放在游戏之上，毕竟她是那个肯能会陪你一辈子的人，游戏只是消遣罢了。。
4、你可以为了父母去教训自己的爱人，但是不能为了爱人去背弃自己的父母。如果她对你父母一直不好，那么她可以离开了。
5、如果不是生在帝王富贵家，那么找女朋友，不要只看重她的长相，而要学会欣赏她的内涵。你找伴侣，不是在找情人，而应该是在找妻子。。
6、一个成功的男人身边，需要一个相对优秀的女人。而这种优秀，与她的容貌无关，与她的内涵相连。
7、哥们，如果不擅长讨女孩欢心，那就去讨自己的未来欢心吧。男人，不是来征服女人的，而是来征服世界的。
8、你一生担负的责任很多，但最重要的是四个，对自己的父母负责，对自己的未来负责，对自己的女人和感情负责，对这个世界负责。
9、不要总想着玩弄感情，小心它有天会玩弄了你。
10、物以类聚，人以群分，这句话对男人很贴切。跟上进的人交朋友，跟有人生品位的人交朋友，你会获益很多。
11、这个世界上，最值得你爱的，除了父母，还有自己的女人和哥们，然后才是你自己。
12、爱情不是追来的。如果你死皮赖脸追求了很久，她却无动于衷，那么哥们，放下吧。有时，咱男人的尊严比一个女人更重要。。
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
feeling sick, but better already~
i nearly lost myself to the flu a few days back. i'm guessing the 4-days marathon at the library was a bit too much. little water, constantly hungry... i'm better off at home with water, and most imptly, food. my metabolic rate is high, this's the reason i gave myself with my relatively high food intake and the quick dehydration i suffer without the constant supply of water into my system.
anyway, 1st paper yesterday. korean~! which i'm not really hopeful of a A- liao. haha.. lots of mistakes. and one question i was so frustrated with myself, mainly becuz it asked for the korean translation of 中秋. before, i thought the exam might come out with this question after i read the past year papers, but i didn't pay much attention to it. even though i wrote on the spelling paper i came up with, i didn't memorize it! tmd. 2 words, i only remember 추.... in the end i wrote 中秋. hahaha.. just to show my frustration during the paper. and that's 2 marks gone. maybe i would have gotten 1 mark if i wrote 추. then another thing, i wrote the number three wrongly. haiz... becuz i got influenced from my japanese language. damn. i don't really think and reason well when i'm not feeling well.
it was kinda pleasant to see a particular classmate before the paper, and zhiwei too. he was there fore malay. talked a bit before the start. during the exam, was feeling quite sianz, so i left the exam hall 30 mins before end. didn't feel like checking my answers also... reading korean isn't that easy... especially when there's a ton of words that wasn't even taught and they expect you to kinda understand agar agar the meaning by inferring from other words you are taught. a way to learn, but i don't think suitable for exams. 나 왼쪽에 여자 was a bit slow. when i was finished, she still haven't started on the last composition. i was thinking she wouldn't have the time to check her other questions. well, i left anyway. dinner was more impt than checking answers. think of it this way, it feels more terrible to check the answers with a stomach growling than suffering the guilt of not checking answers while eating dinner. tada.
oh ya, was invited back to company's christmas dinner even though i'm not part of it at the momeny. but she invited anyway. it actually goes to show how much she valued my presence, or at least i'm some sort of significance. this, i really appreciate. but sadly, my 2nd paper was till dinner time. got stats the next morning too, so can't go. i'm missing a free shangrila buffet which costs more than 40bucks/person just to do well in my stats. it better not disappoint me after the last time.
saw my first hindi movie, "three idiots", which i found kinda interesting after i watched part of it on youtube. the whole movie was really nice. the idea to take away from this inspirational movie is to pursue excellence, and success will chase after you. passion is the way to go.
psychology~!
anyway, 1st paper yesterday. korean~! which i'm not really hopeful of a A- liao. haha.. lots of mistakes. and one question i was so frustrated with myself, mainly becuz it asked for the korean translation of 中秋. before, i thought the exam might come out with this question after i read the past year papers, but i didn't pay much attention to it. even though i wrote on the spelling paper i came up with, i didn't memorize it! tmd. 2 words, i only remember 추.... in the end i wrote 中秋. hahaha.. just to show my frustration during the paper. and that's 2 marks gone. maybe i would have gotten 1 mark if i wrote 추. then another thing, i wrote the number three wrongly. haiz... becuz i got influenced from my japanese language. damn. i don't really think and reason well when i'm not feeling well.
it was kinda pleasant to see a particular classmate before the paper, and zhiwei too. he was there fore malay. talked a bit before the start. during the exam, was feeling quite sianz, so i left the exam hall 30 mins before end. didn't feel like checking my answers also... reading korean isn't that easy... especially when there's a ton of words that wasn't even taught and they expect you to kinda understand agar agar the meaning by inferring from other words you are taught. a way to learn, but i don't think suitable for exams. 나 왼쪽에 여자 was a bit slow. when i was finished, she still haven't started on the last composition. i was thinking she wouldn't have the time to check her other questions. well, i left anyway. dinner was more impt than checking answers. think of it this way, it feels more terrible to check the answers with a stomach growling than suffering the guilt of not checking answers while eating dinner. tada.
oh ya, was invited back to company's christmas dinner even though i'm not part of it at the momeny. but she invited anyway. it actually goes to show how much she valued my presence, or at least i'm some sort of significance. this, i really appreciate. but sadly, my 2nd paper was till dinner time. got stats the next morning too, so can't go. i'm missing a free shangrila buffet which costs more than 40bucks/person just to do well in my stats. it better not disappoint me after the last time.
saw my first hindi movie, "three idiots", which i found kinda interesting after i watched part of it on youtube. the whole movie was really nice. the idea to take away from this inspirational movie is to pursue excellence, and success will chase after you. passion is the way to go.
psychology~!
Friday, December 10, 2010
it's late.
and i'm not studying. this is retribution for ignoring my computer for the past few days. haha..
saw so bored, i searched my name on youtube and came up with this interesting video. i'm quite sure i've heard it before somewhere, some time ago. actually should be a long time ago. but it really amuses me this time.
i remembered i used to go back home after school and cried to my parents becuz classmates are making sure of my surname. after a while, it kinda just died down. not the classmates, but my crying over it. somehow, i grew from it. so now i'm this secretive guy who will hate you to the bone when you mock at me and on the surface i will smile at you like you're the best person in the world. ha. that's what growing up is about.
and as friends around start to go into the working society, or about to, and engage themselves in the world of making money and living good life... i began to wonder about my own. i'm quite sure without my current responsibilities, i would be considering some seriously weird future. but i'm not exactly tied down. someday, some time, i will gather enough courage to do.....
oh, look at the time. it's time to sleep.
saw so bored, i searched my name on youtube and came up with this interesting video. i'm quite sure i've heard it before somewhere, some time ago. actually should be a long time ago. but it really amuses me this time.
i remembered i used to go back home after school and cried to my parents becuz classmates are making sure of my surname. after a while, it kinda just died down. not the classmates, but my crying over it. somehow, i grew from it. so now i'm this secretive guy who will hate you to the bone when you mock at me and on the surface i will smile at you like you're the best person in the world. ha. that's what growing up is about.
and as friends around start to go into the working society, or about to, and engage themselves in the world of making money and living good life... i began to wonder about my own. i'm quite sure without my current responsibilities, i would be considering some seriously weird future. but i'm not exactly tied down. someday, some time, i will gather enough courage to do.....
oh, look at the time. it's time to sleep.
every night
without fail, i just lay on the bed and think of her.
or is it becuz i just can't fall asleep, so i think of her.
it's getting kinda out of control -_-
been thinking a lot while i was reading my skilled helper guide.
hmm.. i suppose i can use those techniques on myself to get something going.
or is it becuz i just can't fall asleep, so i think of her.
it's getting kinda out of control -_-
been thinking a lot while i was reading my skilled helper guide.
hmm.. i suppose i can use those techniques on myself to get something going.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
intensive reading
the things i don't like about intensive reading are...
1) i keep dozing off
2) i keep reading the same para over again becuz i don't understand wtheck
3) i don't really know what i'm reading, it all sounds the same, like common sense
4) i always feel hungry and tempted to buy something to eat
seriously, the skilled helper book for clinical psych is quite helpful if you're focusing on the help part, not the exam bit. don't even know what to look out for in the final paper. the book introduces all the tiny different bits of stuffs that doesn't seem to warrant concerns over them, yet they are part of a bigger picture and when asked, i will definitely be dumbfounded.
this is what i don't like about psychology. probably why i went into it in the first place. haha...
1) i keep dozing off
2) i keep reading the same para over again becuz i don't understand wtheck
3) i don't really know what i'm reading, it all sounds the same, like common sense
4) i always feel hungry and tempted to buy something to eat
seriously, the skilled helper book for clinical psych is quite helpful if you're focusing on the help part, not the exam bit. don't even know what to look out for in the final paper. the book introduces all the tiny different bits of stuffs that doesn't seem to warrant concerns over them, yet they are part of a bigger picture and when asked, i will definitely be dumbfounded.
this is what i don't like about psychology. probably why i went into it in the first place. haha...
Sunday, December 5, 2010
it's sunday~!
suddenly thought of how to continue the phrases i came up with last time.
他们说爱情不能强求
但感情更不能自由
如果爱上你
该怎么对你说
如果爱上你
只能默默等候
i always get a bit excited about creating lyrics that flows with the melody i'm thinking of.
the first part was before. the last 2 parts were thought while i was throwing shuttlecocks at the wall out of boredom from studying abnormal child psych which is progressing slower than i expected. ha.
他们说爱情不能强求
但感情更不能自由
如果爱上你
该怎么对你说
如果爱上你
只能默默等候
i always get a bit excited about creating lyrics that flows with the melody i'm thinking of.
the first part was before. the last 2 parts were thought while i was throwing shuttlecocks at the wall out of boredom from studying abnormal child psych which is progressing slower than i expected. ha.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
谁会在你身边
在你想哭的时候
谁会在你的身边
借你肩膀
让你投入他的环抱
不多说什么
只是安静地搂着你
直到你的泪停止
在自己最伤心的时候
我不会在朋友面前落泪
因为坚强的自己
不容许他们看见
是坚强
还是逞强
连自己都分不清
在自己失落的时候
不想让家人发现
宁愿我自己在夜里
一个人
忍着痛
静静哭
也不愿家人陪着我难过
长大了
懂事了
之然而然
泪也不那么容易逃出眼眶
再这么想哭
也要把眼泪吞进去
男子汉大丈夫
流血不留泪
因为泪比血还能控制
惟一一次失去控制的能力
自己都吓到了
原来伤心，可以那么伤心
难过，可以那么难过
留泪，可以留成河
泪，留不完
就好比那份伤感
永远也不能抹去
时间会淡化一切
是因为记忆的关系
还是心，真的在复原
怎么去分辨
重要吗
过去的，真的可以过去吗
她的生日快到了
而她已不在我身旁
看着我
陪着我
爱着我
每当我想起来
泪 就不禁得落
想起过去有她的记忆
和她已不在的事实
痛
谁会在你的身边
借你肩膀
让你投入他的环抱
不多说什么
只是安静地搂着你
直到你的泪停止
在自己最伤心的时候
我不会在朋友面前落泪
因为坚强的自己
不容许他们看见
是坚强
还是逞强
连自己都分不清
在自己失落的时候
不想让家人发现
宁愿我自己在夜里
一个人
忍着痛
静静哭
也不愿家人陪着我难过
长大了
懂事了
之然而然
泪也不那么容易逃出眼眶
再这么想哭
也要把眼泪吞进去
男子汉大丈夫
流血不留泪
因为泪比血还能控制
惟一一次失去控制的能力
自己都吓到了
原来伤心，可以那么伤心
难过，可以那么难过
留泪，可以留成河
泪，留不完
就好比那份伤感
永远也不能抹去
时间会淡化一切
是因为记忆的关系
还是心，真的在复原
怎么去分辨
重要吗
过去的，真的可以过去吗
她的生日快到了
而她已不在我身旁
看着我
陪着我
爱着我
每当我想起来
泪 就不禁得落
想起过去有她的记忆
和她已不在的事实
痛
Friday, December 3, 2010
past photos
was feeling bored and having a headache after my korean listening test today.
it was surprisingly easier than i thought, more easier than jap1 perhaps.
but the numbers part is still a bit hard to catch.
especially the difference btw 1 & 2. irritating pronunciation.
went into my D: and did a search around.
was curious and saw the photos of her and me together.
hmmm.. didn't realise before, but i think she wasn't sleeping much those days with the visible eyebags. i think it's even worse than mine.
oh well, at least i looked happy.
was trying to differentiate btw a fake and a duchenne smile on those photos of us.
i wasn't really smiling, but can't say much.
for her, it's hard also. don't have a baseline to work with.
tonight's a lonely night when the plan to play deal was foiled becuz the planned host of the game didn't reply to my request. saded. i'll ask miss 'abnormal child psychpathology textbook' to accompany me through the night then.
it was surprisingly easier than i thought, more easier than jap1 perhaps.
but the numbers part is still a bit hard to catch.
especially the difference btw 1 & 2. irritating pronunciation.
went into my D: and did a search around.
was curious and saw the photos of her and me together.
hmmm.. didn't realise before, but i think she wasn't sleeping much those days with the visible eyebags. i think it's even worse than mine.
oh well, at least i looked happy.
was trying to differentiate btw a fake and a duchenne smile on those photos of us.
i wasn't really smiling, but can't say much.
for her, it's hard also. don't have a baseline to work with.
tonight's a lonely night when the plan to play deal was foiled becuz the planned host of the game didn't reply to my request. saded. i'll ask miss 'abnormal child psychpathology textbook' to accompany me through the night then.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
lessons ended
well, lessons have ended for this sem.
tml there's the korean listening which i'm not too confident of.
hope i can listen well.
찰 듣습니다.
anyway, tuesday was hp317 last tutorial session.
when our group was discussing on the final axis of the diagnosis, i was the odd one out, giving a rather low GAF score while the other 3 girls gave somewhat higher. we decided to consult annabel. when one of the girls mentioned that the patient in the case study was functioning rather well, i saw a somewhat surprised look on annabel's face. microexpression? haha... raised eyebrows, eyes widened. at that point of eye, i knew that i was right.
pretty cool to start to see some microexpressions.
tml there's the korean listening which i'm not too confident of.
hope i can listen well.
찰 듣습니다.
anyway, tuesday was hp317 last tutorial session.
when our group was discussing on the final axis of the diagnosis, i was the odd one out, giving a rather low GAF score while the other 3 girls gave somewhat higher. we decided to consult annabel. when one of the girls mentioned that the patient in the case study was functioning rather well, i saw a somewhat surprised look on annabel's face. microexpression? haha... raised eyebrows, eyes widened. at that point of eye, i knew that i was right.
pretty cool to start to see some microexpressions.
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