this could be the things that i keep seeing in my eyes all these years.
saw it on OMG facts.
and my throat is feeling itchy.
there's some coughing.
i sense myself falling ill again.
damn.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
my handicap
everyone has their weakness.
everyone has something they can't do.
but why me?
it's something that i have felt helpless ever since i found out.
and up till this point, i have become completely paralysed on the matter.
it's something that i was excelling in and was developing a passion for.
and yet i'm stopped by my own self.
as i look at the dart board that is hung on my wall, i'm constantly reminded of the fact that i would probably not be able to play as well as before due to the psychological/physiological barrier that appear out of nowhere with my right hand.
it was a boring morning and early afternoon, so i tried to throw some darts. as i stood before the board with the two darts in my left, and the throwing dart in my right, i took aim at the triple 20s, bend my elbow in preparation for throwing, make a few fake swings, and just got stuck there. the dart just wont leave my hand, or rather, my hand just won't release the dart. and even i forcefully threw out the dart, it would look really really awakard and the aim would be much off.
this kinda deters me a bit when my darts teammates ask me back for trainings and also for outings. it would just hurt a little inside to have my handicap shown to all. none of them really understand, becuz it's not something that would happen to the common. perhaps i guess i'm special in this sense. even alcohol inhibition doesn't help in this situation. saded.
oh well. i can still play with my left hand, except it's like wild fire on the board and i don't feel like poking any more holes on my wall or my floor tiles. haha..
everyone has something they can't do.
but why me?
it's something that i have felt helpless ever since i found out.
and up till this point, i have become completely paralysed on the matter.
it's something that i was excelling in and was developing a passion for.
and yet i'm stopped by my own self.
as i look at the dart board that is hung on my wall, i'm constantly reminded of the fact that i would probably not be able to play as well as before due to the psychological/physiological barrier that appear out of nowhere with my right hand.
it was a boring morning and early afternoon, so i tried to throw some darts. as i stood before the board with the two darts in my left, and the throwing dart in my right, i took aim at the triple 20s, bend my elbow in preparation for throwing, make a few fake swings, and just got stuck there. the dart just wont leave my hand, or rather, my hand just won't release the dart. and even i forcefully threw out the dart, it would look really really awakard and the aim would be much off.
this kinda deters me a bit when my darts teammates ask me back for trainings and also for outings. it would just hurt a little inside to have my handicap shown to all. none of them really understand, becuz it's not something that would happen to the common. perhaps i guess i'm special in this sense. even alcohol inhibition doesn't help in this situation. saded.
oh well. i can still play with my left hand, except it's like wild fire on the board and i don't feel like poking any more holes on my wall or my floor tiles. haha..
wind
as of now, as the night enters into its peak, the clouds gather in the night sky, forming a grayish/reddish blanket over the stars. the wind blows, while being channeled by the tall buildings, through the windows, into my room.
i stood by the windows, enjoying the strong winds before the rain comes.
a slight emotional turmoil over the weekends.
something which i haven't felt in a long time.
but it turned out to be quite okay.
and i hope it either stays that way, or move on to something better.
now as the rain arrives, i'm forced to shut my windows.
and with my door closed also, it may seemed i'm locked from inside.
yet in this little space i called my room,
i'm comfortable.
except when the hunger comes.
anyway, finally rid myself off from the surveys.
should be earning 700 bucks.
but i don't think they gonna pay me that fast.
thinking of a new desktop.
but then again, what's the use if i don't have time for games?
i stood by the windows, enjoying the strong winds before the rain comes.
a slight emotional turmoil over the weekends.
something which i haven't felt in a long time.
but it turned out to be quite okay.
and i hope it either stays that way, or move on to something better.
now as the rain arrives, i'm forced to shut my windows.
and with my door closed also, it may seemed i'm locked from inside.
yet in this little space i called my room,
i'm comfortable.
except when the hunger comes.
anyway, finally rid myself off from the surveys.
should be earning 700 bucks.
but i don't think they gonna pay me that fast.
thinking of a new desktop.
but then again, what's the use if i don't have time for games?
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
leaving a footprint, or leaving a trail?
i don't really know why, but the recent events have left me pondering over the question of the level of significance in someone's live.
for example, i don't deem her as a significant part of my life. and thereby avoid any possible interactions with or around her. up until she becomes a significant part of my life, or in the current case, a significant part of a significant person of my life, then perhaps the significance of her existence approaches significance in the positive direction towards p = .05 but still may not necessarily meet the threshold which is subjectively held.
as social convention goes, we're not suppose to hate or dislike anyone, or at least behave so outwardly in the presence of the said persons. that being said, my previous actions of avoidance, obviously towards said person, was explicit until no explainable excuse could be conjured to make it seem likely that it was otherwise so. yet, this continual behavior has to stop since matters reach a point of significance, whether or not it reaches my subjective critical point.
regarding another matter, as i read the open histories of a friend, of which i found rather interesting, i couldn't help but notice the drastic differences. of cuz there are tons of ppl who lead drastically different lives relative to me. the difference here is this; i don't know them. to summarize the general thoughts of this matter cuz it's too troublesome to type it all out; extroverted vs mixed-troverted. yes i made that stupid term out becuz i can't decide which -troverted i am. it's situational dependent, plus mood. oh, that reminds me of the time i was completely ignored at a birthday party, which i could have been happier at another party with hotdogs instead of a fancy-looking one which doesn't even have food that i deem suitable for taste. cheese hotdogs. those were cheese hotdogs that they were having.
i'm starting to feel the oldness in me when i wake up in the morning after a long night's chat. and frankly speaking, it got me worrying for my ippt. damn you 2.4.
normally friends come and go, i don't really care when or how, and sometimes, why. things happen so naturally, you just don't give it much thoughts. my issues with these don't lie with the above questions, but more on how this bond will turn out. with the analogy that i thought of, a footprint is a deeply imprinted mark, while a trail could be seen as a marker into the horizon that someone left behind. the main difference is that the former is singular, and the other, neverending. to put it in terms of how the memory system is proposed to work, an episodic memory VS working memory. somehow it feels that the episodic memory is of a stronger side. but the thing to note is that the working memory is what's now, not then. to put it in reality, many (or according to long-term memory, limitless) people can be in our episodic memory, but there's only so much we can put in our working one. and true enough, i care less for the people in the episodic part of my memory than my working ones. i don't have that much care to go around and distribute to everyone that i want to care about.
at this point in life, most friends can easily slip into the episodic part. the phase of being in the university is as such. you're not forced to see each other every weekday like back in the good old days before college. at some point, the academic world gives you the liberty to not even show up for classes. good and bad, but seriously unrelated to me since i'm not having much social conversations in class for the past 3 years, and i doubt it will start in my final.
with this thought that i had tonight, i began to wonder other's existence to me and my existence to others. do you first determine the significance of that person's existence to you and thereafter seek to approach that significance through social interactions, and if that is achieved beyond a certain threshold, try to maintain the closeness that you've found? or do you just let things happen and see how it goes? and with natural selection, you'll be left with who you're destined to be with. it's quite possible that you end up with no one though.
feel like slping already. damn you tiredness.
for example, i don't deem her as a significant part of my life. and thereby avoid any possible interactions with or around her. up until she becomes a significant part of my life, or in the current case, a significant part of a significant person of my life, then perhaps the significance of her existence approaches significance in the positive direction towards p = .05 but still may not necessarily meet the threshold which is subjectively held.
as social convention goes, we're not suppose to hate or dislike anyone, or at least behave so outwardly in the presence of the said persons. that being said, my previous actions of avoidance, obviously towards said person, was explicit until no explainable excuse could be conjured to make it seem likely that it was otherwise so. yet, this continual behavior has to stop since matters reach a point of significance, whether or not it reaches my subjective critical point.
regarding another matter, as i read the open histories of a friend, of which i found rather interesting, i couldn't help but notice the drastic differences. of cuz there are tons of ppl who lead drastically different lives relative to me. the difference here is this; i don't know them. to summarize the general thoughts of this matter cuz it's too troublesome to type it all out; extroverted vs mixed-troverted. yes i made that stupid term out becuz i can't decide which -troverted i am. it's situational dependent, plus mood. oh, that reminds me of the time i was completely ignored at a birthday party, which i could have been happier at another party with hotdogs instead of a fancy-looking one which doesn't even have food that i deem suitable for taste. cheese hotdogs. those were cheese hotdogs that they were having.
i'm starting to feel the oldness in me when i wake up in the morning after a long night's chat. and frankly speaking, it got me worrying for my ippt. damn you 2.4.
normally friends come and go, i don't really care when or how, and sometimes, why. things happen so naturally, you just don't give it much thoughts. my issues with these don't lie with the above questions, but more on how this bond will turn out. with the analogy that i thought of, a footprint is a deeply imprinted mark, while a trail could be seen as a marker into the horizon that someone left behind. the main difference is that the former is singular, and the other, neverending. to put it in terms of how the memory system is proposed to work, an episodic memory VS working memory. somehow it feels that the episodic memory is of a stronger side. but the thing to note is that the working memory is what's now, not then. to put it in reality, many (or according to long-term memory, limitless) people can be in our episodic memory, but there's only so much we can put in our working one. and true enough, i care less for the people in the episodic part of my memory than my working ones. i don't have that much care to go around and distribute to everyone that i want to care about.
at this point in life, most friends can easily slip into the episodic part. the phase of being in the university is as such. you're not forced to see each other every weekday like back in the good old days before college. at some point, the academic world gives you the liberty to not even show up for classes. good and bad, but seriously unrelated to me since i'm not having much social conversations in class for the past 3 years, and i doubt it will start in my final.
with this thought that i had tonight, i began to wonder other's existence to me and my existence to others. do you first determine the significance of that person's existence to you and thereafter seek to approach that significance through social interactions, and if that is achieved beyond a certain threshold, try to maintain the closeness that you've found? or do you just let things happen and see how it goes? and with natural selection, you'll be left with who you're destined to be with. it's quite possible that you end up with no one though.
feel like slping already. damn you tiredness.
it's a miracle
or at least i thought it was near to impossible.
when i was 300 short of the 500 i was suppose to rush through last week, i thought i was a goner after coming back from the morning socer yesterday and rested till 3pm. next thing i know, i was typing and typing until 12 midnight. although i didn't manage to complete the 300, i got 250 of them done. that's quite a feat for me already. almost 8 hours of work with the dinner break in btw, and 250 entries. that's more than 30/hr.
i'm now hoping that the school side can give me more surveys since theirs are more fun than my current ones. lots of numbers with no need for leaving blanks.
anyway, morn badminton training has been fun, but mostly tiring. halfway through stroking with the school player from china, i was already halfway to giving up also. my lobbing was nowhere near the baseline, which is true since jc, and my smashes, if any, are just so weak. haha.. lousy player who knows how to play. well, was too tired to listen to neuro psych and dozed off throughout the lecture in the seminar room. worse was i was napping during the break in btw, when i woke up, she was talking already. thankfully, i wasn't snoring.
last week before recess. looking forward to a week's break. although i haven't been doing much, but still, a break's a break.
when i was 300 short of the 500 i was suppose to rush through last week, i thought i was a goner after coming back from the morning socer yesterday and rested till 3pm. next thing i know, i was typing and typing until 12 midnight. although i didn't manage to complete the 300, i got 250 of them done. that's quite a feat for me already. almost 8 hours of work with the dinner break in btw, and 250 entries. that's more than 30/hr.
i'm now hoping that the school side can give me more surveys since theirs are more fun than my current ones. lots of numbers with no need for leaving blanks.
anyway, morn badminton training has been fun, but mostly tiring. halfway through stroking with the school player from china, i was already halfway to giving up also. my lobbing was nowhere near the baseline, which is true since jc, and my smashes, if any, are just so weak. haha.. lousy player who knows how to play. well, was too tired to listen to neuro psych and dozed off throughout the lecture in the seminar room. worse was i was napping during the break in btw, when i woke up, she was talking already. thankfully, i wasn't snoring.
last week before recess. looking forward to a week's break. although i haven't been doing much, but still, a break's a break.
Friday, September 16, 2011
teaching ain't easy
especially when i'm the teacher.
i've never really doubt my teaching skills until i start giving tuition to primary school kids. usually i tutor my peers.
now that i've taught primary sch maths for 2 years, i began to seriously doubt my teaching skills. why ain't they improving as i thought they would be? why? is 1.5 hrs per week not enough? actually i would recommend to have it at least 2 tuitions per week.
realized my cousin failed his maths, below 40 somemore. the other kid doing foundation also failed, i think they both got almost the same marks. -_-"
am i not strict enough with them? perhaps. i don't scold, i don't blame. i teach.
i always remembered my tuition teacher as someone who's very fierce. and i rmbed telling my mum to get female tutors. don't really fancy male ones. but hell, the female tutors were quite fierce. once, she was so fierce, i think she cried. hahaha... joking. i think she got frustrated dealing with me, so she cried. i wasn't really a pleasant kid to teach back then. i was already doing well in maths, so the tuition teacher was erm... mostly not doing anything. usually after she started explaining a question, i would cut in and do the rest myself. and becuz back then i can't seem to finish my work always, most of the time in tuition i was just doing maths qns instead of her teaching me. sighz.
wonder if my approach is wrong. i'm just teaching random questions, going through random questions he had done wrong in sch. cuz in that short 1.5 hrs, i would hope to expose him to more solutions in the hope that he understand and rmb the skills. but if it's really up to me to decide, i would stay beside him, 24/7, make him redo the same paper again and again. rote learning, but very very useful. becuz it seems that rote learning in maths, is not really rote learning by just purely memorizing facts. cuz there's not much facts to rmb in maths. it's more of knowing where to look, what to infer.
angry and disappointed. angry with myself and the limitations that i face, and disappointed in myself and him. ever since i learned about intrinsic motivation, i've thought abt how to plant its seed and had it bloomed in kids i teach. i think i failed in everyone of them.
to me, it's a wonder why would anyone not be interested in maths.
of cuz, i know it's stupid to think this way.
i've never really doubt my teaching skills until i start giving tuition to primary school kids. usually i tutor my peers.
now that i've taught primary sch maths for 2 years, i began to seriously doubt my teaching skills. why ain't they improving as i thought they would be? why? is 1.5 hrs per week not enough? actually i would recommend to have it at least 2 tuitions per week.
realized my cousin failed his maths, below 40 somemore. the other kid doing foundation also failed, i think they both got almost the same marks. -_-"
am i not strict enough with them? perhaps. i don't scold, i don't blame. i teach.
i always remembered my tuition teacher as someone who's very fierce. and i rmbed telling my mum to get female tutors. don't really fancy male ones. but hell, the female tutors were quite fierce. once, she was so fierce, i think she cried. hahaha... joking. i think she got frustrated dealing with me, so she cried. i wasn't really a pleasant kid to teach back then. i was already doing well in maths, so the tuition teacher was erm... mostly not doing anything. usually after she started explaining a question, i would cut in and do the rest myself. and becuz back then i can't seem to finish my work always, most of the time in tuition i was just doing maths qns instead of her teaching me. sighz.
wonder if my approach is wrong. i'm just teaching random questions, going through random questions he had done wrong in sch. cuz in that short 1.5 hrs, i would hope to expose him to more solutions in the hope that he understand and rmb the skills. but if it's really up to me to decide, i would stay beside him, 24/7, make him redo the same paper again and again. rote learning, but very very useful. becuz it seems that rote learning in maths, is not really rote learning by just purely memorizing facts. cuz there's not much facts to rmb in maths. it's more of knowing where to look, what to infer.
angry and disappointed. angry with myself and the limitations that i face, and disappointed in myself and him. ever since i learned about intrinsic motivation, i've thought abt how to plant its seed and had it bloomed in kids i teach. i think i failed in everyone of them.
to me, it's a wonder why would anyone not be interested in maths.
of cuz, i know it's stupid to think this way.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Things I just rmbed
And I forgot to pin them down here.
The other night when we were playing mj, there were 5 of us. So naturally 2 persons need to share. Usually they play different winds, but this time they came up with an interesting method of deciding who to play. Scissors paper stone.
Maybe that wasn't very interesting to hear. Probably becuz I haven't to my point. Throughout the game, they kept pitting against each other to see who wins and so, the winner will get to play the next round. It's also like deciding who is luckier and thus would have a high prob of winning the rest of us three.
As it turns out, although the original intent wasn't to decide who's the luckier one, but it works. The 3 of us got our asses kicked pretty bad with the pair winning over a hundred.
After mourning for my loss of money after they left my house, I began to think whether this method is a scientific one. Yes, mahjong requires skills and certainly skills. But psychologically speaking, I would say emotions play quite a part too, and also the attitude.
In terms of attitude, or perhaps the state of mind, the winner assumes a role of someone who is in luck and thereby play the game with a rather positive emotion and an even more optimistic view of his chances of winning compared to his usually perceived one.
Could it have been that all these factors contribute to better playing skills? And even possibly promoting self luck? I would think it's rather probable that the positivity may helps in getting a more creative and holistic view of the ongoing game, thereby giving him an edge over the others in terms of objective skills. As for luck, not quite sure what kind of scientific proof is there for this. But I always thought of it as something akin to a self-belief. And I have been considering gathering past mj records and see if any definite patterns come out from there.
Another thing to talk abt.
the other day while I was out with the interns, one of the females reveal, or think that she would have a high sex drive. That to me, is supposingly the first time a female said that. Anyway, I went on to question her how did she know that. I went straight to whether she has tried self-masturbation. Becuz I could only think of 2 ways to go around finding this kind of things. And the other would be a more sensitive and invasive qns to ask. The feeling I got from her is that she has experienced neither. She based her claim of high sex drive on the basis of her extroverted active character.
I could almost agree with her on that. It does sounds probable for someone who has an active lifestyle towards the partying aspects to have a high sex drive. As commonsensically as it may seem, how do you know you like it when you haven't even try it? Sex, I suppose, it's not like just another sports that you can play. It's being naked, it's doing something that renders you vulnerable with the lack of common armor which one wears everyday. So my suggestion to her was this, go experiment herself. Doubt she would listen much.
Guess that's all.
Oh ya, saw a recent news of a maid who was convicted of abusing an elderly. While I was on my way to sch, I saw a maid who threatened to push the granny in the wheelchair into the road while waiting for the green man. Well, I guess both of them are not on good terms. And I think the granny was maybe doing her best in irritating the maid.
Reminder to self,
Don't get a maid next time.
The other night when we were playing mj, there were 5 of us. So naturally 2 persons need to share. Usually they play different winds, but this time they came up with an interesting method of deciding who to play. Scissors paper stone.
Maybe that wasn't very interesting to hear. Probably becuz I haven't to my point. Throughout the game, they kept pitting against each other to see who wins and so, the winner will get to play the next round. It's also like deciding who is luckier and thus would have a high prob of winning the rest of us three.
As it turns out, although the original intent wasn't to decide who's the luckier one, but it works. The 3 of us got our asses kicked pretty bad with the pair winning over a hundred.
After mourning for my loss of money after they left my house, I began to think whether this method is a scientific one. Yes, mahjong requires skills and certainly skills. But psychologically speaking, I would say emotions play quite a part too, and also the attitude.
In terms of attitude, or perhaps the state of mind, the winner assumes a role of someone who is in luck and thereby play the game with a rather positive emotion and an even more optimistic view of his chances of winning compared to his usually perceived one.
Could it have been that all these factors contribute to better playing skills? And even possibly promoting self luck? I would think it's rather probable that the positivity may helps in getting a more creative and holistic view of the ongoing game, thereby giving him an edge over the others in terms of objective skills. As for luck, not quite sure what kind of scientific proof is there for this. But I always thought of it as something akin to a self-belief. And I have been considering gathering past mj records and see if any definite patterns come out from there.
Another thing to talk abt.
the other day while I was out with the interns, one of the females reveal, or think that she would have a high sex drive. That to me, is supposingly the first time a female said that. Anyway, I went on to question her how did she know that. I went straight to whether she has tried self-masturbation. Becuz I could only think of 2 ways to go around finding this kind of things. And the other would be a more sensitive and invasive qns to ask. The feeling I got from her is that she has experienced neither. She based her claim of high sex drive on the basis of her extroverted active character.
I could almost agree with her on that. It does sounds probable for someone who has an active lifestyle towards the partying aspects to have a high sex drive. As commonsensically as it may seem, how do you know you like it when you haven't even try it? Sex, I suppose, it's not like just another sports that you can play. It's being naked, it's doing something that renders you vulnerable with the lack of common armor which one wears everyday. So my suggestion to her was this, go experiment herself. Doubt she would listen much.
Guess that's all.
Oh ya, saw a recent news of a maid who was convicted of abusing an elderly. While I was on my way to sch, I saw a maid who threatened to push the granny in the wheelchair into the road while waiting for the green man. Well, I guess both of them are not on good terms. And I think the granny was maybe doing her best in irritating the maid.
Reminder to self,
Don't get a maid next time.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Note to self
I'm beginning to use introspection to examine my emotions when talking to others and realizing what my behaviors or nonverbal cues were, then trying to use it on others and show that it's not idiosyncratic.
忽然之间
忽然之间 天昏地暗
世界可能忽然什么都没有
我想起了你 再想到自己
我为什么总在非常脆弱的时候
怀念你
我明白 太放不开你的爱
太熟悉你的关怀
分不开
想你算是安慰还是悲哀
而现在 就算时针都停摆
就算生命像尘埃
分不开
我们也许反而更相信爱
如果这天地 最终都会消失
不想一路走来珍惜的回忆
没有你
A beautiful song.
就算现在能安慰我的人不再是妳
想到妳
还是能感到一点温暖
那一点孤单的滋味
就算倾诉于身边的人
又有谁能真的明白
妳给过我的
妳说过的
就算虚假，也是真的。
New iPhone app
Finally, an iPhone app for blogger so there's no more need for me to use safari to go into blogspot.
Yes, I'm on bed, bored, and feel like having company. The whole day of doing nothing much is making me panicky on thurs meeting for forensics.
I knew I could perhaps msg a friend. But then I would probably die from rains of words complaining the delays.
Yes, I'm on bed, bored, and feel like having company. The whole day of doing nothing much is making me panicky on thurs meeting for forensics.
I knew I could perhaps msg a friend. But then I would probably die from rains of words complaining the delays.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
now...
whenever i'm procrastinating, the only one thing on my list is to surf the net. after that i would feel like i'm wasting time. but still, i refuse to go back to my work. so i move on to watching videos. now, this activity varies a lot with the types. movies; could be done within 2hrs. dramas are a whole lot different thing. i basically justify myself by saying, "watched one, might as well the whole damn thing". afterwhich when i still refuse to do work, i come here to write stuffs so as to make the time i spent more productive.
first i must say, the tiny ants in my room are bugging me at a constant basis. there weren't that many of them, but recently, one just pops out every now and then. much more irritating is that one would occasionally crawl up my hand and gives this bite that's not so painful that i would go 'ouch', but painful enough to have some neuronal signal sent from the skin to my brain. as closely as i can be, i tried to look at how they bite into my top layer of skin, but i just can't.
second, the data entry assignment that i just did for the school is starting to annoy me. not the entering of data, but the aftermath. the coordinator send an email out to everyone, indicating the number of entries each of us can enter per hour. of which, i seemed to be significantly higher. from there, he calculated the average amt of time taken and that is multiply by 7 bucks. so as to say, my above-average number cause the avg hours to decrease and thereby, less money for the rest. now the rest of them have a reason to hate me, and one of them is a junior whom i don't know but recognizes me in my forensic class. and if they do, bite me.
my old-time buddies would have told me i was stupid to give them such a high number when i knew they expected something lower. this way, i'll get paid more. to add on to that, the numbers i gave him was already an underestimation. 15-20/hr. the real deal here is at least 20. seriously, i dont know why the rest are entering so much slower. or is it my freakishly fast numbers-entering with the keyboard which i found was very engaging and fun?
plus in the real world, or perhaps a real job, lying on the assignment makes you at most an adequate employee with just a one-time extra cash. honesty might make you less rich on this time, but on the contrary, gives you an edge over others in future on opportunities.
after saying so much, i seriously don't really bother. i got a job, i do it, i get money. that's it. the only thing that bothers me now, and the most, is that i have to submit my bank details with the bank signature on a hardcopy sheet to the school so that the school can process the payment transfer for this assignment. ma fan.
third, friends were concerned over the saturday night incident. just slightly concerned and mentioned during a game of me losing 30 bucks. yes, i'm a sore loser at mj when i'm not feeling rich. bite me (and i'm liking this phrase; perhaps too much big bang theory). anyway, we arranged to watch a game of soccer that night over at a friend's house. when we reached, someone was there, and that someone was someone whom i wasn't really comfortable with. no, i don't hate her. yes, i don't like her. when the car stopped and i alighted, i said goodbye and walked away to take the train back home. i agreed it was rude of me to do that, especially when she's there and another friend was calling me back to stay. but well, if i can't be comfortable in a situation, and it's proven and tested with her, then why force myself? i don't see the need to accomodate others when i can just walk away? hmm. correction. i don't see the need to accomodate my old friends when i can just walk away? a few of them may be unhappy abt this, but i stand my grounds on avoiding her. i'm just stubborn. it's worse than putting me and my ex in a trapped room. i'm sure they would understand my outright violation of social norms, and even if they're not, attempt to understand.
it's not the first time i did it. i've walk out on many situations that i thought i didn't want to be in. and for the times i didn't, due to social obligations, i just couldn't get my spirits up. but i truly feel apologetic abt the time i was unfeeling when i was still together with my ex and having dinner with her friend and her bro. that was quite... unboyfriend-ish of me.
fourth, went to school today and had a 15-20 minutes chat with 2 professors before going back home. felt -_-. didn't mind the travelling as i was occupied with 'telling lies' by ekman. but didn't like squeezing with the crowd during the evening rush. anyway, the 3-way conversation was quite a feat for me as i attempt to explain what i wanted to do with my fyp and try to look at both of them, switching from time to time so as to engage both of them. i'm just exaggerating it becuz i have nothing much to talk. but anyway, when prof j mentioned ekman sent him some stuffs and asked if he wanted to do some data collection locally, i was turned on, non-sexually. it was an opportunity. and so i offered him my service if there's any availability for an undergrad to get involved in the expt. of which he thanked me in a way that i know he don't think so.
anyway, while i was speaking to him, i realized a few of my actions while i was talking to him. interestingly, i touched my right earlobe with my left hand, my right hand went behind the back of my head touching my hair, etc etc. it's only when i did it then i realized it. pretty cool eh?
by the way, while i was on the bus going home, i started to wonder btw the two. forensic psych, or pilot. academia, or flying. then i decided, i don't have to choose now. hahaha..
first i must say, the tiny ants in my room are bugging me at a constant basis. there weren't that many of them, but recently, one just pops out every now and then. much more irritating is that one would occasionally crawl up my hand and gives this bite that's not so painful that i would go 'ouch', but painful enough to have some neuronal signal sent from the skin to my brain. as closely as i can be, i tried to look at how they bite into my top layer of skin, but i just can't.
second, the data entry assignment that i just did for the school is starting to annoy me. not the entering of data, but the aftermath. the coordinator send an email out to everyone, indicating the number of entries each of us can enter per hour. of which, i seemed to be significantly higher. from there, he calculated the average amt of time taken and that is multiply by 7 bucks. so as to say, my above-average number cause the avg hours to decrease and thereby, less money for the rest. now the rest of them have a reason to hate me, and one of them is a junior whom i don't know but recognizes me in my forensic class. and if they do, bite me.
my old-time buddies would have told me i was stupid to give them such a high number when i knew they expected something lower. this way, i'll get paid more. to add on to that, the numbers i gave him was already an underestimation. 15-20/hr. the real deal here is at least 20. seriously, i dont know why the rest are entering so much slower. or is it my freakishly fast numbers-entering with the keyboard which i found was very engaging and fun?
plus in the real world, or perhaps a real job, lying on the assignment makes you at most an adequate employee with just a one-time extra cash. honesty might make you less rich on this time, but on the contrary, gives you an edge over others in future on opportunities.
after saying so much, i seriously don't really bother. i got a job, i do it, i get money. that's it. the only thing that bothers me now, and the most, is that i have to submit my bank details with the bank signature on a hardcopy sheet to the school so that the school can process the payment transfer for this assignment. ma fan.
third, friends were concerned over the saturday night incident. just slightly concerned and mentioned during a game of me losing 30 bucks. yes, i'm a sore loser at mj when i'm not feeling rich. bite me (and i'm liking this phrase; perhaps too much big bang theory). anyway, we arranged to watch a game of soccer that night over at a friend's house. when we reached, someone was there, and that someone was someone whom i wasn't really comfortable with. no, i don't hate her. yes, i don't like her. when the car stopped and i alighted, i said goodbye and walked away to take the train back home. i agreed it was rude of me to do that, especially when she's there and another friend was calling me back to stay. but well, if i can't be comfortable in a situation, and it's proven and tested with her, then why force myself? i don't see the need to accomodate others when i can just walk away? hmm. correction. i don't see the need to accomodate my old friends when i can just walk away? a few of them may be unhappy abt this, but i stand my grounds on avoiding her. i'm just stubborn. it's worse than putting me and my ex in a trapped room. i'm sure they would understand my outright violation of social norms, and even if they're not, attempt to understand.
it's not the first time i did it. i've walk out on many situations that i thought i didn't want to be in. and for the times i didn't, due to social obligations, i just couldn't get my spirits up. but i truly feel apologetic abt the time i was unfeeling when i was still together with my ex and having dinner with her friend and her bro. that was quite... unboyfriend-ish of me.
fourth, went to school today and had a 15-20 minutes chat with 2 professors before going back home. felt -_-. didn't mind the travelling as i was occupied with 'telling lies' by ekman. but didn't like squeezing with the crowd during the evening rush. anyway, the 3-way conversation was quite a feat for me as i attempt to explain what i wanted to do with my fyp and try to look at both of them, switching from time to time so as to engage both of them. i'm just exaggerating it becuz i have nothing much to talk. but anyway, when prof j mentioned ekman sent him some stuffs and asked if he wanted to do some data collection locally, i was turned on, non-sexually. it was an opportunity. and so i offered him my service if there's any availability for an undergrad to get involved in the expt. of which he thanked me in a way that i know he don't think so.
anyway, while i was speaking to him, i realized a few of my actions while i was talking to him. interestingly, i touched my right earlobe with my left hand, my right hand went behind the back of my head touching my hair, etc etc. it's only when i did it then i realized it. pretty cool eh?
by the way, while i was on the bus going home, i started to wonder btw the two. forensic psych, or pilot. academia, or flying. then i decided, i don't have to choose now. hahaha..
Greeted by nature
I always like this feeling when I walked out of the house, and the breeze seem to greet me and welcome me into the outside world. It doesn't always happen, but it always feel so good when it does. It's like a hug from nature. It carries my worries away, it soothes my soul, it clears my mind. It basically gives the only silent comfort I could ever get.
Love, is like the wind.
You can never see it, but you can always feel it.
- a walk to remember
Love, is like the wind.
You can never see it, but you can always feel it.
- a walk to remember
different and similar
woke up hating the feeling of hunger.
usually happens when i keep falling back to sleep after the alarm rings.
yet, i'm still not eating.
cuz there isn't anything at home that i like to eat for breakfast.
some time back i bought some slices of picnic ham so that during some mornings when i'm feeling good, i would cook some for breakfast.
but given how lazy i am every morning, eventually my mum took the initiative and cook the whole bunch for the whole family. haha..
anyway, yesterday was 中秋.
a very important festival in korea, a less important, yet still significant day for the chinese.
mum specifically requested me to be home for dinner, which i did.
it kinda felt like it's been a long time since i've dinner at the dinner table with my family. probably becuz i was busy for the last week.
what striked me most during dinner was the issue on the pregnant fried fish with all the eggs in it. can't rmb what it's called, but my sis said some japanese word.
anyway, dad and me thought it was just normal fish, but smaller and could probably just eat the whole thing. so each of us grabbed one. as soon as i bit into it, the 一粒一粒 feeling came. i could feel the multiple eggs that were inside my mouth. and then i gave mum the i-have-something-weird-in-my-mouth expression. did i mention i don't like eating fish eggs? haha..
immediately, i gave my mum the half-eaten pregnant fish and washed down the eggs with soup. at the same time, my dad gave the shocked look and quickly put back the pregnant fish. thereafter, mum and sis were eating the pregnant fish happily. -_-
as how things are, i'm rather similar to my dad in terms of being picky at food while sis is rather similar to mum in terms of these peripheral stuffs. dad always have a lot of weird and funny ideas, sometimes ridiculous beyond comprehension, and perhaps that's where i got my own weird and stupid ideas. but in terms of character, i seemed to be closer to mum and my sis closer to my dad. mum is pretty conscientious, but dad is rather... unorganized. he could make dinner plans and then say he didn't make reservations. haha.. but only a few times did we not succeed in having dinner at the planned dinner place. so i guess, me and my sis are both different and similar to my parents. it's a bit mix and match.
been under some pressure lately with the forensic ppt coming up fast, the fyp preparation for meeting later which frankly speaking, i'm not progressing much as i have just a general direction. the data entry work is constantly bugging me in my head, since there are stacks of it beside me and a whole big yellow box which is beside my damn big double mattress bed on which i sleep alone.
by the way, my mum has threatened to one day, throw away one of the mattress, just becuz she don't like it. used to belong to my sis, but since she threw out her bed, i kept the mattress cuz i thought it was a waste to throw it away. i've gotten used to sleeping on high grounds already. and i kinda like it. except for the rare occasion when i dropped down from the edge becuz i rolled too much; it happened once. still, i know that she's not going to do anything soon. cuz the bloodly mattress is queen size, and is stacked below my current one. without the help of anyone, my mum won't be able to get that mattress out of the house. so, at the moment, it's safe. unless she engaged the assistance of my dad. at the age of 53, i think my dad is still much stronger than me. it's like comparing an engineer to armour. in armour, we just sit inside the tanks. in engineer, they build bridges. different strength requirement, different build.
i'm actually quite excited about this evening meeting with the 2 profs. but the knowledge that i'm under-read on all my articles on deceptions and micro expression kills me to the point that i don't even have the motivation to start. plus the fact that i'm still hungry after typing so much ain't helping. eating mooncakes make me thirsty so i'm avoiding it.
and so to perhaps distract myself from hungry and work, i would talk about something else.
last night as i entertained the thought of reading, or just going to bed, a friend pushed me over the edge by saying there would be a surprise if i read for an hour and a half. of cuz that puts me in the mood for a while, but still i drifted off to the internet at some point of time. the surprise was a picture of little folded stars saying "well done" with some magazine cuttings of my name. truthfully speaking, i thought it was quite sweet as a gesture. and it's like i'm being in a real example of operant conditioning; positive reinforcements. except, perhaps i need more pairings to go, and also someone to validate that my readings are really "well-done" as said.
anyway, when i woke up this morning and looked at the picture again, i began to think that maybe becuz of her background as a teacher before, and her interactions with kids, she's tuned to motivating others with positive reinforcements, as a teacher should. not that it makes the gesture any less sweeter than it already is, but i wonder if the background is different, would the same gesture remains?
this also got me thinking about me being a lousy teacher.
i've tutor since the age of... 11? but i was doing buddy-reading at 9 or 10.
anyway, it has never really cross my mind that it was my job to motivate the tutee, or kid, or my friend. becuz for me, my motivation comes from within. a matter of intrinsic VS extrinsic. but you never know when long-term extrinsic could slowly crept its way into the intrinsic side. and with the readings i had from human motivation some sems back, there are different levels in btw the extremes. so, i'm just simplifying the situation here with just a binary.
i'm not sure how good am i at teaching, cuz i only taught them solutions. but never did motivate. even if i did, it's bare minimal, like "come on, you can do this." so when the kid is not motivated to learn, i become disheartened. but when he/she is motivated, i'm motivated myself. so basically i'm just letting things go as nature would have depict it, or perhaps more of the environment, rather than asserting force on the kid to bring them to their fullest potential, which i would feel is rather constricted with the 1.5 hrs i have with them, 2 hrs max.
my motivations as a child was nothing more than interest. a bit of achievement-oriented i must say, but that's for subjects like english, chinese, and the stupid science i hated. i even failed once. mathematics is a whole new different story. i would get engaged in it, spend hours looking at questions, trying all sorts of solutions, and if i can't solve, i'll look at the answers and work my way back. if the solutions weren't clear to me, i will try every possible way that i could think of until i get back to the original question, and then spend hours deciphering why is the solution show, why this works and why that didn't. i'll reason my way out, think until i get frustrated, and then get a sense of fulfillment after i finally understand one question. yes, that's mathematics for me. the olympics and new south wales maths test were always of interest to me. even till now.
yet my interest in mathematics has not been a viable choice as a career as i know the advanced level of mathematics test on the foundations of formulas with messy numbers. which, i cant really think of a job for that except for being a teacher. i like teaching solutions, just not teaching in general.
alright, it's nearly lunch time.
usually happens when i keep falling back to sleep after the alarm rings.
yet, i'm still not eating.
cuz there isn't anything at home that i like to eat for breakfast.
some time back i bought some slices of picnic ham so that during some mornings when i'm feeling good, i would cook some for breakfast.
but given how lazy i am every morning, eventually my mum took the initiative and cook the whole bunch for the whole family. haha..
anyway, yesterday was 中秋.
a very important festival in korea, a less important, yet still significant day for the chinese.
mum specifically requested me to be home for dinner, which i did.
it kinda felt like it's been a long time since i've dinner at the dinner table with my family. probably becuz i was busy for the last week.
what striked me most during dinner was the issue on the pregnant fried fish with all the eggs in it. can't rmb what it's called, but my sis said some japanese word.
anyway, dad and me thought it was just normal fish, but smaller and could probably just eat the whole thing. so each of us grabbed one. as soon as i bit into it, the 一粒一粒 feeling came. i could feel the multiple eggs that were inside my mouth. and then i gave mum the i-have-something-weird-in-my-mouth expression. did i mention i don't like eating fish eggs? haha..
immediately, i gave my mum the half-eaten pregnant fish and washed down the eggs with soup. at the same time, my dad gave the shocked look and quickly put back the pregnant fish. thereafter, mum and sis were eating the pregnant fish happily. -_-
as how things are, i'm rather similar to my dad in terms of being picky at food while sis is rather similar to mum in terms of these peripheral stuffs. dad always have a lot of weird and funny ideas, sometimes ridiculous beyond comprehension, and perhaps that's where i got my own weird and stupid ideas. but in terms of character, i seemed to be closer to mum and my sis closer to my dad. mum is pretty conscientious, but dad is rather... unorganized. he could make dinner plans and then say he didn't make reservations. haha.. but only a few times did we not succeed in having dinner at the planned dinner place. so i guess, me and my sis are both different and similar to my parents. it's a bit mix and match.
been under some pressure lately with the forensic ppt coming up fast, the fyp preparation for meeting later which frankly speaking, i'm not progressing much as i have just a general direction. the data entry work is constantly bugging me in my head, since there are stacks of it beside me and a whole big yellow box which is beside my damn big double mattress bed on which i sleep alone.
by the way, my mum has threatened to one day, throw away one of the mattress, just becuz she don't like it. used to belong to my sis, but since she threw out her bed, i kept the mattress cuz i thought it was a waste to throw it away. i've gotten used to sleeping on high grounds already. and i kinda like it. except for the rare occasion when i dropped down from the edge becuz i rolled too much; it happened once. still, i know that she's not going to do anything soon. cuz the bloodly mattress is queen size, and is stacked below my current one. without the help of anyone, my mum won't be able to get that mattress out of the house. so, at the moment, it's safe. unless she engaged the assistance of my dad. at the age of 53, i think my dad is still much stronger than me. it's like comparing an engineer to armour. in armour, we just sit inside the tanks. in engineer, they build bridges. different strength requirement, different build.
i'm actually quite excited about this evening meeting with the 2 profs. but the knowledge that i'm under-read on all my articles on deceptions and micro expression kills me to the point that i don't even have the motivation to start. plus the fact that i'm still hungry after typing so much ain't helping. eating mooncakes make me thirsty so i'm avoiding it.
and so to perhaps distract myself from hungry and work, i would talk about something else.
last night as i entertained the thought of reading, or just going to bed, a friend pushed me over the edge by saying there would be a surprise if i read for an hour and a half. of cuz that puts me in the mood for a while, but still i drifted off to the internet at some point of time. the surprise was a picture of little folded stars saying "well done" with some magazine cuttings of my name. truthfully speaking, i thought it was quite sweet as a gesture. and it's like i'm being in a real example of operant conditioning; positive reinforcements. except, perhaps i need more pairings to go, and also someone to validate that my readings are really "well-done" as said.
anyway, when i woke up this morning and looked at the picture again, i began to think that maybe becuz of her background as a teacher before, and her interactions with kids, she's tuned to motivating others with positive reinforcements, as a teacher should. not that it makes the gesture any less sweeter than it already is, but i wonder if the background is different, would the same gesture remains?
this also got me thinking about me being a lousy teacher.
i've tutor since the age of... 11? but i was doing buddy-reading at 9 or 10.
anyway, it has never really cross my mind that it was my job to motivate the tutee, or kid, or my friend. becuz for me, my motivation comes from within. a matter of intrinsic VS extrinsic. but you never know when long-term extrinsic could slowly crept its way into the intrinsic side. and with the readings i had from human motivation some sems back, there are different levels in btw the extremes. so, i'm just simplifying the situation here with just a binary.
i'm not sure how good am i at teaching, cuz i only taught them solutions. but never did motivate. even if i did, it's bare minimal, like "come on, you can do this." so when the kid is not motivated to learn, i become disheartened. but when he/she is motivated, i'm motivated myself. so basically i'm just letting things go as nature would have depict it, or perhaps more of the environment, rather than asserting force on the kid to bring them to their fullest potential, which i would feel is rather constricted with the 1.5 hrs i have with them, 2 hrs max.
my motivations as a child was nothing more than interest. a bit of achievement-oriented i must say, but that's for subjects like english, chinese, and the stupid science i hated. i even failed once. mathematics is a whole new different story. i would get engaged in it, spend hours looking at questions, trying all sorts of solutions, and if i can't solve, i'll look at the answers and work my way back. if the solutions weren't clear to me, i will try every possible way that i could think of until i get back to the original question, and then spend hours deciphering why is the solution show, why this works and why that didn't. i'll reason my way out, think until i get frustrated, and then get a sense of fulfillment after i finally understand one question. yes, that's mathematics for me. the olympics and new south wales maths test were always of interest to me. even till now.
yet my interest in mathematics has not been a viable choice as a career as i know the advanced level of mathematics test on the foundations of formulas with messy numbers. which, i cant really think of a job for that except for being a teacher. i like teaching solutions, just not teaching in general.
alright, it's nearly lunch time.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
i chant this when i'm troubled.
my existence don't matter to you,
and so your existence is of nothing to me.
you would not think about me,
and so my thoughts about you are empty.
a couple more times, and maybe i'll sleep.
a couple more times, and maybe i'll forget.
a couple more times, and maybe this fastasy will end.
and so your existence is of nothing to me.
you would not think about me,
and so my thoughts about you are empty.
a couple more times, and maybe i'll sleep.
a couple more times, and maybe i'll forget.
a couple more times, and maybe this fastasy will end.
Friday, September 9, 2011
a sense of this-is-going-nowhere
it has probably happened a few times in the recent mid-sems.
this weird sense of ?
the feeling of being lost in the open sea.
something that i like to avoid feeling with all the possible events that i could fill my days with.
but in my final year,
this feeling got much stronger than before.
apart from the feeling of "i'm not doing anything about my studies",
i'm also not doing anything in my life.
well, guess i better start somewhere.
this life ain't going live itself.
anyway,
it's been a while since i had a phone conversation that long.
and my phone battery was nearly gone towards the end.
the fact that i didn't really like talking on the phone was quite a huge question mark to me.
i don't really know why, but perhaps it's been so long since i've chatted on the phone, it becomes something that i naturally avoid.
oh shitz, that reminds me i forgot to call someone. damn it.
this weird sense of ?
the feeling of being lost in the open sea.
something that i like to avoid feeling with all the possible events that i could fill my days with.
but in my final year,
this feeling got much stronger than before.
apart from the feeling of "i'm not doing anything about my studies",
i'm also not doing anything in my life.
well, guess i better start somewhere.
this life ain't going live itself.
anyway,
it's been a while since i had a phone conversation that long.
and my phone battery was nearly gone towards the end.
the fact that i didn't really like talking on the phone was quite a huge question mark to me.
i don't really know why, but perhaps it's been so long since i've chatted on the phone, it becomes something that i naturally avoid.
oh shitz, that reminds me i forgot to call someone. damn it.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
meet-up with army dudes
it's a dinner with the army dudes to send QM off for another year.
stayed in school for 6 hours after the fyp meeting with prof in which i basically talked crap that she probably wasn't really interested in.
did nothing much in that 6 hours.
searched the sch for places to sleep after lunch.
went to chat with a friend, and i think i wasted quite a bit of her studying time in school becuz of my continuous talking. haha.. need to take note of it next time.
found a nice place to doze off in the cool and wind evening, which is at the garden-like platform outside the labs on the 3rd floor of my school. i think i lay there for like 1-2 hours just lying down, looking at the blue sky with clouds just floating by.
one thing that amazed me was the things that i see.
there are always some black spots in my vision.
not that significant, but i know it's there.
today, i discovered something more.
when i looked at the blue sky, i can actually see a lot of things just speeding around space. i know it's my eyes, not the external world. but it seemed so real. like i could visualize atoms or molecules bombarding in our world. it's either pretty cool, or perhaps my eyes for problem. haha...
and even though i slept nearly 3 hours in sch, i'm tired now -_-
here's something interesting about chinese lyrics that i saw online which was kinda cool.
蔡依林 【倒带】 周杰伦 【彩虹】
你累积给的伤害我是真的很难释怀 释怀说了太多就成真不了
宁愿没出息求我别离开 你要离开我知道很简单
我想依赖 你说依赖
我们面前太多阻碍 是我们的阻碍
你的手却放不开 就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱
而你总是太晚才明白 当作我最后才明白
similar? haha..
stayed in school for 6 hours after the fyp meeting with prof in which i basically talked crap that she probably wasn't really interested in.
did nothing much in that 6 hours.
searched the sch for places to sleep after lunch.
went to chat with a friend, and i think i wasted quite a bit of her studying time in school becuz of my continuous talking. haha.. need to take note of it next time.
found a nice place to doze off in the cool and wind evening, which is at the garden-like platform outside the labs on the 3rd floor of my school. i think i lay there for like 1-2 hours just lying down, looking at the blue sky with clouds just floating by.
one thing that amazed me was the things that i see.
there are always some black spots in my vision.
not that significant, but i know it's there.
today, i discovered something more.
when i looked at the blue sky, i can actually see a lot of things just speeding around space. i know it's my eyes, not the external world. but it seemed so real. like i could visualize atoms or molecules bombarding in our world. it's either pretty cool, or perhaps my eyes for problem. haha...
and even though i slept nearly 3 hours in sch, i'm tired now -_-
here's something interesting about chinese lyrics that i saw online which was kinda cool.
蔡依林 【倒带】 周杰伦 【彩虹】
你累积给的伤害我是真的很难释怀 释怀说了太多就成真不了
宁愿没出息求我别离开 你要离开我知道很简单
我想依赖 你说依赖
我们面前太多阻碍 是我们的阻碍
你的手却放不开 就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱
而你总是太晚才明白 当作我最后才明白
similar? haha..
Sunday, September 4, 2011
韩庚-心疼·笔记本 MV
a very nice soothing song of a rather sad love story.
today didn't spend a second on fyp.
went out to meet the ACCOP rapporteurs for lunch, just yy and yl.
had quite a long chat over kenny rogers. mostly about crappy stuffs.
yy's in prison, yl just got attached not long ago in a long dist r/s.
well, i'm just nuaing through life, still. haha..
wrote some words using that glowing ink bottle that i had on the side of my desk.
took me quite a while to get those chinese characters done.
looks ugly, but still like it. haha..
don't know whether to sleep or to continue doing data entry.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
an almost nothing-day
a nothing-day; a day spent doing nothing that is relevant to work/sch or life.
woke up at 11+ to my mum asking me what i want for lunch.
played some pools last night and came back home to stare at the monitor till 2+.
had some weird dreams i supposed, but i can't really remember them.
got up feeling tired and aching, probably due to playing kinect on mon.
yes, my body still ache from that stupid volleyball kinect game in which the strength and speed of swinging your arm doesn't really matter becuz the kinect can only detect that much speed. in reality, i would have probably score a dozen times with those smacks i made. but then again, in reality, i probably would have missed a lot of balls also. haha..
went to school just to manage the psych society elections.
had some small chats with the applicants just before they went for the interviews.
somehow had dinner with one of them after her interview.
had quite a chat during dinner.
feeling tired. time to sleep.
an almost nothing-day.
except i bought my neuropsych txtbk; the only txtbk i need ot buy this sem. swee~
woke up at 11+ to my mum asking me what i want for lunch.
played some pools last night and came back home to stare at the monitor till 2+.
had some weird dreams i supposed, but i can't really remember them.
got up feeling tired and aching, probably due to playing kinect on mon.
yes, my body still ache from that stupid volleyball kinect game in which the strength and speed of swinging your arm doesn't really matter becuz the kinect can only detect that much speed. in reality, i would have probably score a dozen times with those smacks i made. but then again, in reality, i probably would have missed a lot of balls also. haha..
went to school just to manage the psych society elections.
had some small chats with the applicants just before they went for the interviews.
somehow had dinner with one of them after her interview.
had quite a chat during dinner.
feeling tired. time to sleep.
an almost nothing-day.
except i bought my neuropsych txtbk; the only txtbk i need ot buy this sem. swee~
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