what's wrong with pronouncing wikipedia as 'weekee'pedia?
not much difference what.
happy bday to dad (29th Apr) and mum (23rd Apr).
dad got a wallet from me who apparently haven't use it yet.
mum got earrings and necklace from sis who apparently also haven't got a chance to use it too, i think.
last day at day job.
doubting my chances of getting any tuition jobs as it's already this time of the year and i'm not really confirm putting in any commitments due to the start of school in august. hmmm... maybe i just skip living in hostel for 4 years in uni. haha.. save money, bring in more income from tuition.
tonight i guess it's going to get real busy at zouk.
i hope the rain will creates havoc for the crowd. haha..
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
the approaching fear
who is she that makes me so afraid
why does it feels like yesterday that she left
when i know it's nearly been a year
where did i spend all these time
i rmbed my tears in the wee hours of the morning
i rmbed keeping the frame underneath the bed which i sleep on every night
i rmbed myself as a pathetic fool who lost all dignity in exchange for a denied second
humans wish to live a blissful life
but i tend to indulge in this bottomless well of anguish
it's the only way to keep the memories close
why does it feels like yesterday that she left
when i know it's nearly been a year
where did i spend all these time
i rmbed my tears in the wee hours of the morning
i rmbed keeping the frame underneath the bed which i sleep on every night
i rmbed myself as a pathetic fool who lost all dignity in exchange for a denied second
humans wish to live a blissful life
but i tend to indulge in this bottomless well of anguish
it's the only way to keep the memories close
Monday, April 21, 2008
meaning
i detest myself.
for being too indulged in senseless activities which i can't pull myself out from.
missed my university admission medical checkup.
looks like i don't really give much a damn abt my uni.
wondering if i can find a job after quitting this.
but surely enough, i want to quit this job.
watching too much manga nowadays.
eyes get too tired while gaming at night.
must plan the trip round taiwan soon.
so we can book the stupid rooms and not risk sleeping elsewhere.
feel like my tummy is getting bigger without any workouts.
but also feel lik my whole body getting thinner, without any workouts.
the shorts don't fit as they did, getting looser.
shitz, i don't wanna waste the money i spent on buying the shorts.
the independent and dependent me.
infusion, or just pretence?
for being too indulged in senseless activities which i can't pull myself out from.
missed my university admission medical checkup.
looks like i don't really give much a damn abt my uni.
wondering if i can find a job after quitting this.
but surely enough, i want to quit this job.
watching too much manga nowadays.
eyes get too tired while gaming at night.
must plan the trip round taiwan soon.
so we can book the stupid rooms and not risk sleeping elsewhere.
feel like my tummy is getting bigger without any workouts.
but also feel lik my whole body getting thinner, without any workouts.
the shorts don't fit as they did, getting looser.
shitz, i don't wanna waste the money i spent on buying the shorts.
the independent and dependent me.
infusion, or just pretence?
Saturday, April 19, 2008
boring sick week
been sick, bored, and tired from work.
hopefully i can get out next week.
starting to think of how well is your memory.
being able to memorise things seem to have a few factors.
one of them is how well do you know the things you're suppose to remember?
for example if i ask a pri 1 kid to rmb a series of 10 numbers, most probably he can memorise and read it backwards by the end of 5 min.
but if i'm asking him now to rmb just 5 mathematical formulas on cosine, sine, tangent, at the end of 5 min, can he do it?
this idea sparked in my mind when i was doing my waitering work.
basically there're a lot of drinks in the bar, and i know most probably... less than 10% of them. so when i take orders from a group, i definitely have to get my notepad out to write down their orders.
unless, they're ordering common things like apple shooters, lychee martini, tiger, flaming lambo, etc. these are like 1 2 3 to me.
but those malibu, johnny walker blue/black/green, bacardi, blah blah blah... and those liquers which i've never heard of -_- these are like... smlj?
worse still, half the time when i don't know the drinks they order, i can't get their pronunciation right. -_-
some weird drinks.
-snow white and the 7 dwarfs
with 7 different liquors and beer, hardly anyone is able to tahan throughout
-vodka tom yan
suppose to be spicy -_-, pure vodka with sweetener of tom yan i guess
-?
forgot the name, but it's champange with orange juice, looks and sound nice.
stupid thing happened yesterday night, maybe was too tired.
left my locker key at my locker. and i didn't even close the locker. -_-
hopefully later able to find back the locker key and nothing is lost inside the locker. anyway the things inside all tan's. haha..
having a routine of visiting borders just before going to zouk.
read up on some comics and psychology stuffs.
one particular title drew my attention.
"the boy who was raised as a girl"
it's a true case-study.
brought out a lot of things to debate on for both science and social science.
nurture or nature? biology or environment? etc etc.
basically his penis got burned at 7 months old during circumcision and his parents decided to raise him up as a girl. the other fact is, he has an identical twin bro.
lots of homosexuality-related books on the shelves, together with the depression section all that.
read for free at borders~
hopefully i can get out next week.
starting to think of how well is your memory.
being able to memorise things seem to have a few factors.
one of them is how well do you know the things you're suppose to remember?
for example if i ask a pri 1 kid to rmb a series of 10 numbers, most probably he can memorise and read it backwards by the end of 5 min.
but if i'm asking him now to rmb just 5 mathematical formulas on cosine, sine, tangent, at the end of 5 min, can he do it?
this idea sparked in my mind when i was doing my waitering work.
basically there're a lot of drinks in the bar, and i know most probably... less than 10% of them. so when i take orders from a group, i definitely have to get my notepad out to write down their orders.
unless, they're ordering common things like apple shooters, lychee martini, tiger, flaming lambo, etc. these are like 1 2 3 to me.
but those malibu, johnny walker blue/black/green, bacardi, blah blah blah... and those liquers which i've never heard of -_- these are like... smlj?
worse still, half the time when i don't know the drinks they order, i can't get their pronunciation right. -_-
some weird drinks.
-snow white and the 7 dwarfs
with 7 different liquors and beer, hardly anyone is able to tahan throughout
-vodka tom yan
suppose to be spicy -_-, pure vodka with sweetener of tom yan i guess
-?
forgot the name, but it's champange with orange juice, looks and sound nice.
stupid thing happened yesterday night, maybe was too tired.
left my locker key at my locker. and i didn't even close the locker. -_-
hopefully later able to find back the locker key and nothing is lost inside the locker. anyway the things inside all tan's. haha..
having a routine of visiting borders just before going to zouk.
read up on some comics and psychology stuffs.
one particular title drew my attention.
"the boy who was raised as a girl"
it's a true case-study.
brought out a lot of things to debate on for both science and social science.
nurture or nature? biology or environment? etc etc.
basically his penis got burned at 7 months old during circumcision and his parents decided to raise him up as a girl. the other fact is, he has an identical twin bro.
lots of homosexuality-related books on the shelves, together with the depression section all that.
read for free at borders~
Thursday, April 10, 2008
sighz
心情不知为何, 这么都好不起来.
最近生活忙碌, 没时间去想别的事.
是不是太累了, 还是又被记忆纠缠?
会不会一停止, 心又会不知觉的感到失落.
i wanna lose myself in the seduction of speed...
最近生活忙碌, 没时间去想别的事.
是不是太累了, 还是又被记忆纠缠?
会不会一停止, 心又会不知觉的感到失落.
i wanna lose myself in the seduction of speed...
holding on to what i believe in
somehow, the bad memories return to haunt for a while.
but no matter the case, it's the past.
doubts and questions, let's leave them in the past.
there's no answers now too.
even though it may brings back the sadness, the helplessness that i once felt, the times i wasn't given a choice, but force to accept what's decided, and many more.
right now
i just want to hold on to what i believe in.
i imagine myself holding on tightly, so strong a bond, that it will never abandon me.
the empowerment that it bestows upon my very spirit, my ever burning fighting strength and courage to stand lone against the odds.
i am but, an insignificant self to majority.
but forever, i am to myself, the greatest warrior ever lived.
and becuz i believe in that, that i live.
i live to believe, and believe i have lived.
okay.. ain't making much sense... eyes getting painful from the overnight work.
but no matter the case, it's the past.
doubts and questions, let's leave them in the past.
there's no answers now too.
even though it may brings back the sadness, the helplessness that i once felt, the times i wasn't given a choice, but force to accept what's decided, and many more.
right now
i just want to hold on to what i believe in.
i imagine myself holding on tightly, so strong a bond, that it will never abandon me.
the empowerment that it bestows upon my very spirit, my ever burning fighting strength and courage to stand lone against the odds.
i am but, an insignificant self to majority.
but forever, i am to myself, the greatest warrior ever lived.
and becuz i believe in that, that i live.
i live to believe, and believe i have lived.
okay.. ain't making much sense... eyes getting painful from the overnight work.
... tired ...
having slept 2.5 hours... this morning is getting quite hard to get by...
got a headache while working last night, must be the late nights again...
finished 1 series of manga, total 17 volumes online over tue and wed in office.. haha... not really concentrating on work.
anyway it's about another love story, but pretty good in my view.
it's getting hard to keep my eyes off beautiful girls sitting around while i have nothing to do and just walk around the bar.
tuesday pool was bad. couldn't really score...
was kinda entangled with the past that day.
going to taiwan... june june. come quick...
i wanna get away, rest a while, and be myself.
got a headache while working last night, must be the late nights again...
finished 1 series of manga, total 17 volumes online over tue and wed in office.. haha... not really concentrating on work.
anyway it's about another love story, but pretty good in my view.
it's getting hard to keep my eyes off beautiful girls sitting around while i have nothing to do and just walk around the bar.
tuesday pool was bad. couldn't really score...
was kinda entangled with the past that day.
going to taiwan... june june. come quick...
i wanna get away, rest a while, and be myself.
Monday, April 7, 2008
lost, and found
i literally threw my key downstairs just now.
then spent around 30 min searching for it among the grasses.
lucky found it.
~example of the stupidest thing that i've done
friday night was horrible.
it was the first friday night waitering.
the section came after the gathering, i didn't even have time to attend to them.
it was too busy.
all of us were like battling against the speedy pace of orders.
taking the orders, getting the payment, serving the drinks, clearing the table, etc etc. felt like i was going to lose control over myself. haha...
sat
awoken by nik's msg of getting the lappy.
my actual first thought was, "can't you come here and get it?"
mainly becuz if i slept at 6am in the morning after a day work, and a midnight waitering work, which is like 17 hours of work in a day, then i want to wake up feeling.. "ah... relax... stay at home.." and not take a single step out of my house.
but still, i went out.
played a little badminton, then off i went to work, AGAIN. -_-
a bit sianz... sat night was quite blur~
sunday, just spent the whole day at night playing games.
super nua after 2 nights of work.
and the right side of my back hurts quite a bit.
probably becuz of badminton and standing too long on the job.
my fingers hurt also, i think i hit them with the racket during badminton. i know it's stupid, but such things happen.
monday, recalled back to camp to get charged for security breach which happened one year again. the fine is $100. haiz... yes, i overlooked the stupid fact. and going back in green, isn't really comforable. wanted to visit poh and liang, but was kinda lazy. so went k with tan. 2 persons are better off than a group in my opinion. the down side is sing until sianz and sore throat.
tml, work. maybe tml i will concentrate.
let's revise what i've learnt.
Vodka - 42 below
Gin - Bombay Sapphire
Rum - Bacardi
Whiskey - Dewars White
Tequila - Sauza
Brandy - Otard
Burbon - Jim Beam
then spent around 30 min searching for it among the grasses.
lucky found it.
~example of the stupidest thing that i've done
friday night was horrible.
it was the first friday night waitering.
the section came after the gathering, i didn't even have time to attend to them.
it was too busy.
all of us were like battling against the speedy pace of orders.
taking the orders, getting the payment, serving the drinks, clearing the table, etc etc. felt like i was going to lose control over myself. haha...
sat
awoken by nik's msg of getting the lappy.
my actual first thought was, "can't you come here and get it?"
mainly becuz if i slept at 6am in the morning after a day work, and a midnight waitering work, which is like 17 hours of work in a day, then i want to wake up feeling.. "ah... relax... stay at home.." and not take a single step out of my house.
but still, i went out.
played a little badminton, then off i went to work, AGAIN. -_-
a bit sianz... sat night was quite blur~
sunday, just spent the whole day at night playing games.
super nua after 2 nights of work.
and the right side of my back hurts quite a bit.
probably becuz of badminton and standing too long on the job.
my fingers hurt also, i think i hit them with the racket during badminton. i know it's stupid, but such things happen.
monday, recalled back to camp to get charged for security breach which happened one year again. the fine is $100. haiz... yes, i overlooked the stupid fact. and going back in green, isn't really comforable. wanted to visit poh and liang, but was kinda lazy. so went k with tan. 2 persons are better off than a group in my opinion. the down side is sing until sianz and sore throat.
tml, work. maybe tml i will concentrate.
let's revise what i've learnt.
Vodka - 42 below
Gin - Bombay Sapphire
Rum - Bacardi
Whiskey - Dewars White
Tequila - Sauza
Brandy - Otard
Burbon - Jim Beam
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Somebody - Depeche Mode
I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone wholl stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
Shell get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And live in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
Shell hear me out
And wont easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact shell often diagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone wholl help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I dont want to be tied
To anyones strings
Im carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when Im asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
Ill get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....
Beautiful lyrics. absolutely beautiful.
i want somebody.
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone wholl stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
Shell get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And live in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
Shell hear me out
And wont easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact shell often diagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone wholl help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I dont want to be tied
To anyones strings
Im carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when Im asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
Ill get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....
Beautiful lyrics. absolutely beautiful.
i want somebody.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
this is the reason why i want to learn piano, or hope
Madoka - Kyosuke I
Madoka - Missing
Both taken from the old anime KOR.
someday... maybe, i will pick up piano. haha..
I particularly like Kyosuke I.
sweetness of love within the melody that flows...
Madoka - Missing
Both taken from the old anime KOR.
someday... maybe, i will pick up piano. haha..
I particularly like Kyosuke I.
sweetness of love within the melody that flows...
just some quotes
Even the fear of death is nothing compared to the fear of not having lived authentically and fully.
- Frances Moore Lappe, O Magazine, May 2004
"Isn't it ironic? We ignore those who adore us, Adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us and love those who hurt us."
The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.
- Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive Comic, 09-07-06
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
- George Orwell (1903 - 1950), "Animal Farm"
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important.
- Natalie Goldberg
You may delay, but time will not.
- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)
Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for. Because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly…stupid."
- Jack Sparrow
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely.
- Dr Gonzo
"Artificial Intelligence can never beat Natural Stupidity"
“Just because she comes off strong doesn’t mean she didn’t fall asleep crying and even though she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe, just maybe…. she’s really good at lying.”
-> this was what i was afraid of when i was deserted. apparently my worries were redundant.
“Don’t make me wait for you, because you know I will.”
-> i'm so used to sitting around and wait.
something sparks me during lunch.
normally ppl will put this case to you.
if your lover, and your mother dropped into the lake and both of them are drowning, who will you save first?
for me, definitely my mum. of cuz i will afterwards go on a superhumane swim and save my love.
on another case...
let's say in this scenario, it's either you die, or your love die.
now, of cuz any hard lovers will stand true to the "i will die for her!".
i'm not much of a hard lover. never been one, maybe in future when i met another one.
but if you consider the sadness that brings along each death...
maybe you have a lot of closed friends, and a family full of warmth and they will shed countless tears upon your departure to the top or bottom floor..
and your love, is just someone solo, alone in life. no family, no friends.
putting it to the extreme, when she die, nobody will care but you.
when you die, everyone cares.
can you still stand true to your oath of love?
i'm not sure if this is a similar dilemma to the lover and mother case.
but for me in this case, i will be a bit selfish.
save my love, make my family cries.
hopefully my love will live happy though and not get hatred from my family. haha..
now... i'm wondering if i can do well at my night job tonight. then i'm wondering if i can do work tml morn with only 2 hours of sleep...
recently been craving letters on my hands whenever the itch comes.
it works a bit to keep me from scratching.
and revived a little bit of memories.
and then the itch intensifies. -_- and i scratch it altogether.
- Frances Moore Lappe, O Magazine, May 2004
"Isn't it ironic? We ignore those who adore us, Adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us and love those who hurt us."
The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.
- Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive Comic, 09-07-06
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
- George Orwell (1903 - 1950), "Animal Farm"
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important.
- Natalie Goldberg
You may delay, but time will not.
- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)
Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for. Because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly…stupid."
- Jack Sparrow
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely.
- Dr Gonzo
"Artificial Intelligence can never beat Natural Stupidity"
“Just because she comes off strong doesn’t mean she didn’t fall asleep crying and even though she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe, just maybe…. she’s really good at lying.”
-> this was what i was afraid of when i was deserted. apparently my worries were redundant.
“Don’t make me wait for you, because you know I will.”
-> i'm so used to sitting around and wait.
something sparks me during lunch.
normally ppl will put this case to you.
if your lover, and your mother dropped into the lake and both of them are drowning, who will you save first?
for me, definitely my mum. of cuz i will afterwards go on a superhumane swim and save my love.
on another case...
let's say in this scenario, it's either you die, or your love die.
now, of cuz any hard lovers will stand true to the "i will die for her!".
i'm not much of a hard lover. never been one, maybe in future when i met another one.
but if you consider the sadness that brings along each death...
maybe you have a lot of closed friends, and a family full of warmth and they will shed countless tears upon your departure to the top or bottom floor..
and your love, is just someone solo, alone in life. no family, no friends.
putting it to the extreme, when she die, nobody will care but you.
when you die, everyone cares.
can you still stand true to your oath of love?
i'm not sure if this is a similar dilemma to the lover and mother case.
but for me in this case, i will be a bit selfish.
save my love, make my family cries.
hopefully my love will live happy though and not get hatred from my family. haha..
now... i'm wondering if i can do well at my night job tonight. then i'm wondering if i can do work tml morn with only 2 hours of sleep...
recently been craving letters on my hands whenever the itch comes.
it works a bit to keep me from scratching.
and revived a little bit of memories.
and then the itch intensifies. -_- and i scratch it altogether.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
what is it like to love and be loved by the same person?
hmm.. i think i only felt this once before.
it was sweet, happy.
just thinking abt it makes me giggle and smile.
well, now it's gone. nvm then.
at least i felt it before.
used to envy couples in real life and also in comics or animations.
now... still feeling green abt it. becuz at the moment don't have what. haha..
but don't really care much now. many things i wanna accomplish other than relationships at the moment.
i just passed the uni scholarship application. hmm.. just too lazy to start writing the essay, getting it vetted by teachers... referrals... etc etc. heck, let's just start school now!
as a guy, it feels super gu niang to feel.. hmm.. so much abt love.
despair, happiness, jealously, sorrows, sweetness, and many different variations of emotions.
i don't know why, it's just too... gu niang. i have no better word to replace this.
I'M PROCRASTINATING MY PROJECTS!!! AND IT'S APRIL ALREADY. oh, HAPPY APRIL FOOL DAY!
may i clear my table, do up the latest project, and quickly continue to my next one. i don't want to reach the deadline and then i say to myself, "aiya.. nvm.."
7 more months to deadline. hurry dumbass.
it was sweet, happy.
just thinking abt it makes me giggle and smile.
well, now it's gone. nvm then.
at least i felt it before.
used to envy couples in real life and also in comics or animations.
now... still feeling green abt it. becuz at the moment don't have what. haha..
but don't really care much now. many things i wanna accomplish other than relationships at the moment.
i just passed the uni scholarship application. hmm.. just too lazy to start writing the essay, getting it vetted by teachers... referrals... etc etc. heck, let's just start school now!
as a guy, it feels super gu niang to feel.. hmm.. so much abt love.
despair, happiness, jealously, sorrows, sweetness, and many different variations of emotions.
i don't know why, it's just too... gu niang. i have no better word to replace this.
I'M PROCRASTINATING MY PROJECTS!!! AND IT'S APRIL ALREADY. oh, HAPPY APRIL FOOL DAY!
may i clear my table, do up the latest project, and quickly continue to my next one. i don't want to reach the deadline and then i say to myself, "aiya.. nvm.."
7 more months to deadline. hurry dumbass.
my heart just felt a tinge of love
hmm.. was reviewing through some music videos on the old anime, kimagure orange road.
it was my first, and still, my favourite animation of all times.
i suddenly realise, or perhaps thought of something...
does the craziness of love often occurs during schooling times?
looking at the various animations, school times is really a popular stage for the budding love.
if anyone didn't realise...
it's actually very true to me.
since school is the period of life you practically have no worries or troubles, except perhaps your studies. normally that's the case, provided your family is well, not much disputes, you are on good terms with your friends. hmm.. okay, not much worries i guess. and if the person that you desire to be with is in your school, or even better, in your class, BEST, sitting infront/behind/beside you, lots of quality time i should say. haha..
to date, most of the most stupid stuffs i've done are in school, or during the schooling times. in love, you do a lot of crazy stuffs. but the working society and pace somehow don't really allow you to do that. maybe on weekends. but crazy and stupid stuffs... i still think schooling times are the best. two of you are young, don't really know what's mature, exploring the world, understanding yourself, others... love sparks like crazy. haha...
i guessed i missed those times. double meaning of miss.
uni life, most probably won't be as sweet as the naive of the youth.
saw videos of ppl actually playing the piano pieces of Kyosuke I!
was... excited. i love music. back in pri 4, i was kinda proud to be able to blow Red River Valley using a recorder. haha... there're also some other pieces on youtube, all from the anime kimagure orange road.
though it's old, it's full of emotions. love, rage, jealously, despair, helpless, kindness... lots and lots of feelings involved.
i want to learn to play those pieces. looks quite hard to learn though. -_- very hard.
it was my first, and still, my favourite animation of all times.
i suddenly realise, or perhaps thought of something...
does the craziness of love often occurs during schooling times?
looking at the various animations, school times is really a popular stage for the budding love.
if anyone didn't realise...
it's actually very true to me.
since school is the period of life you practically have no worries or troubles, except perhaps your studies. normally that's the case, provided your family is well, not much disputes, you are on good terms with your friends. hmm.. okay, not much worries i guess. and if the person that you desire to be with is in your school, or even better, in your class, BEST, sitting infront/behind/beside you, lots of quality time i should say. haha..
to date, most of the most stupid stuffs i've done are in school, or during the schooling times. in love, you do a lot of crazy stuffs. but the working society and pace somehow don't really allow you to do that. maybe on weekends. but crazy and stupid stuffs... i still think schooling times are the best. two of you are young, don't really know what's mature, exploring the world, understanding yourself, others... love sparks like crazy. haha...
i guessed i missed those times. double meaning of miss.
uni life, most probably won't be as sweet as the naive of the youth.
saw videos of ppl actually playing the piano pieces of Kyosuke I!
was... excited. i love music. back in pri 4, i was kinda proud to be able to blow Red River Valley using a recorder. haha... there're also some other pieces on youtube, all from the anime kimagure orange road.
though it's old, it's full of emotions. love, rage, jealously, despair, helpless, kindness... lots and lots of feelings involved.
i want to learn to play those pieces. looks quite hard to learn though. -_- very hard.
strange dream
so i was struggling to get up the stairs to the door...
and suddenly i knew i wasn't feeling too well.
my whole body weakened and i fell on knees, i was on all fours.
vision getting blurred.
then i told myself, this is a stupid dream, this is definitely a stupid dream.
and i woke up after i fainted in my dream. -_-" smlj?
recently the nights have been irritating.
if i on my fan, and under my blanket, i feel hot.
if i remove my blanket, i feel cold.
if i off my fan and remove my blanket, i feel hot.
and becuz of the this discomfort i'm having strange dreams.
today's APRIL FOOL DAY~!
hmm.. well, still haven't finish up my project.
i think over the weekends i should take some time off from the com and tidy up my table... and finish up what i started. i think it's collecting dust.
think i didn't mention...
but working as a waiter at 3 nights/week now, together with current day job.
will be damn tired on thursday morning.. becuz wed night got shift.
anyone going to zouk wine bar please keep a look out for me.
so you can sit FAR FAR away from me so i don't have to serve you drinks and snacks.
if possible, tell me in advance so i will take mc.
i feel weird.
becuz i actually enjoyed the first night working, serving drinks and snacks and clearing up the tables till 4 in the morning.
maybe it's just something new.
now... i forgot what i wanted to say. hmm... something to do with... i forgot.
oh ya
it seemed everytime i goes into an unfamiliar environment, my mind will automatically rejects whatever that comes along. like waitering, especially in a place i don't frequent, club. i have to actually force myself to accept. it doesn't comes naturally. if possible, i really like to just stay in a lab or office, and do some research or studies which i'm interested in, experiments all that. it sounds kinda nerdy... but i'm not really into human interaction. but i don't hate it too. i just prefer, the other way.
some time has passed
sorrows don't seem to follow me around that much
it feels rather strange to be without it
i felt abandoned by sadness
it's sad that i'm no longer sad.
i think donating blood makes me tired...
even 7 hours of sleep doesn't feel that rejuvenating as before...
maybe just take more of my blood.
then get mc or what
i can be a full-time paid blood donor.
my job is to lie down and have needles poking me to transfer my AB+ blood into packets of 450ml.
well, it pays really good.
you have free milo, biscuits, sometimes a goodie bag which i got recently.
but it's a quarterly job lah.
maybe if you take enough milo or biscuits home... can actually last you for 3 months till your next donation...
i'm feeling like a small little boy at my waitering job.
becuz i'm a noob.
eating humble pie, some usually says.
but eating the pie and being older than some of them, kinda feel stupid. haha..
maybe i'm too traditional with all these seniors and juniors thingy with the age.
it's the same with badminton and npcc.
back to work.
and suddenly i knew i wasn't feeling too well.
my whole body weakened and i fell on knees, i was on all fours.
vision getting blurred.
then i told myself, this is a stupid dream, this is definitely a stupid dream.
and i woke up after i fainted in my dream. -_-" smlj?
recently the nights have been irritating.
if i on my fan, and under my blanket, i feel hot.
if i remove my blanket, i feel cold.
if i off my fan and remove my blanket, i feel hot.
and becuz of the this discomfort i'm having strange dreams.
today's APRIL FOOL DAY~!
hmm.. well, still haven't finish up my project.
i think over the weekends i should take some time off from the com and tidy up my table... and finish up what i started. i think it's collecting dust.
think i didn't mention...
but working as a waiter at 3 nights/week now, together with current day job.
will be damn tired on thursday morning.. becuz wed night got shift.
anyone going to zouk wine bar please keep a look out for me.
so you can sit FAR FAR away from me so i don't have to serve you drinks and snacks.
if possible, tell me in advance so i will take mc.
i feel weird.
becuz i actually enjoyed the first night working, serving drinks and snacks and clearing up the tables till 4 in the morning.
maybe it's just something new.
now... i forgot what i wanted to say. hmm... something to do with... i forgot.
oh ya
it seemed everytime i goes into an unfamiliar environment, my mind will automatically rejects whatever that comes along. like waitering, especially in a place i don't frequent, club. i have to actually force myself to accept. it doesn't comes naturally. if possible, i really like to just stay in a lab or office, and do some research or studies which i'm interested in, experiments all that. it sounds kinda nerdy... but i'm not really into human interaction. but i don't hate it too. i just prefer, the other way.
some time has passed
sorrows don't seem to follow me around that much
it feels rather strange to be without it
i felt abandoned by sadness
it's sad that i'm no longer sad.
i think donating blood makes me tired...
even 7 hours of sleep doesn't feel that rejuvenating as before...
maybe just take more of my blood.
then get mc or what
i can be a full-time paid blood donor.
my job is to lie down and have needles poking me to transfer my AB+ blood into packets of 450ml.
well, it pays really good.
you have free milo, biscuits, sometimes a goodie bag which i got recently.
but it's a quarterly job lah.
maybe if you take enough milo or biscuits home... can actually last you for 3 months till your next donation...
i'm feeling like a small little boy at my waitering job.
becuz i'm a noob.
eating humble pie, some usually says.
but eating the pie and being older than some of them, kinda feel stupid. haha..
maybe i'm too traditional with all these seniors and juniors thingy with the age.
it's the same with badminton and npcc.
back to work.
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