Sunday, another day

Some things... you just can't resist... :)

~
The Date: Her Story / His Story

A couple have been in a relationship for about four months now. One friday night they meet at a bar after work. They stay for a few, then go on to get some food at a local restaurant near their respective houses. They eat, then go back to his house and she stays over.

Her story:

Well Ed was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I wa a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it, but the conversation was quite slow going. I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he's still a bit funny and I'm trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it's me or something so I ask him and he says no but you know I'm not really sure, so anyway, in the cab back to his house I say that I love him and he just puts his arm around me and I don't konw what the hell that means because, you know, he doesn't say it back or anything so when we get back to his place I'm wondering if he's going off me and so I try to ask him about it but he just switches on the TV and so I say I'm going to go to sleep and after about 10 minutes he joins me and we have sex, but he seemed really distracted and so afterwards I just want to leave and, I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else ???

His story:

Shit day at work. Great fuck later.

~
Mrs Morgenstein goes into Shecky's Deli at 9 am. and asks Shecky for a dozen bagels. Shecky replies,

"Sorry Mrs. Morgenstein, we're out of bagels till 12 o'clock."

Mrs Morgenstein is back at 10 am. and asks Shecky for a dozen bagels, and Shecky answers,

"Sorry Mrs. Morgenstein, we're out of bagels till 12 o'clock."

Again at 11 am. Mrs. Morgenstein goes into the deli and asks Shecky for a dozen bagels. Shecky replies.

"Mrs. Morgenstein, how do you spell 'cat' as in catastrophe?"

"C-A-T"

"Very good Mrs. Morgenstein, now how do you spell 'dog' as in dogmatic?"

"D-O-G"

"Right Mrs. Morgenstein, now how do you spell 'fuck' as in bagels?"

"There isn't any fuck in bagels!" replies Mrs. Morgenstein.

"Exactly Mrs. Morgenstein. Come back at 12 o'clock."

~
The preacher was preaching with all his might. The subject was SIN, and he was most certainly 'against' it.

A girl, with a wonderful figure, and not nearly enough clothes to hide much skin, came in late. She strode down the center aisle. close to the front, and sat down.

It was plain to the preacher that he has lost the men in his audience to this voluptuous sex-object.

He shook a fist at her and said, "You are the Jezebel the good book tells us about. You have got the mind of every man in this building on evil thoughts and not good thoughts. But I am a man of God! You don't affect me, and right now up in Heaven, Saint Finger is shaking his Peter at you!!"

~
Two Bosnian soldiers were dug out in a hole in the middle of a battlefield, when one turns round to the other and says,

"I'm really dying for a shit!"

The other says "Well, you're not doing it here! You'll have to go across the battle field and find somewhere else. I'll cover you!"

So off the first soldier goes across the battlefield and disappears over a hill.

10 minutes pass and no sign of the soldier, his friend is getting uneasy.

20 minutes pass and still no sign of the soldier, his friend is now very worried and thinks his friend is dead.

30 minutes later he spots his friend's head popup from behind the hill, and then watches as he runs back across the field as fast as he can and dives into the hole.

"What happened?", said the second soldier, "I thought you were dead."

"Well, you're not going to believe this but as I dived over that hill to have a shit I cam across a beautiful woman. I was overcome with passion and I made love to her in all positions, from the front, from behind..."

"Did you get a blow job?"

"No, I couldn't find her head!!!"

that's all for now.
Gotta get that bicycle from my uncle soon..
i just wanna feel the breeze~

Numbing myself...

haha.. i didn't know there's this function on that blog. anyway, this is just created out of boredom.. really have nothing to do during weekends...

anyway, just a bit of backgrd on how the address and title came about.

i was kinda playing on the new game, scions of fate, and was thinking of names for my new char.
water and wind kinda came into mind. water, my element. wind, what i like best. translate into weather, well.. you get rain and breeze. haha... as for the address... wind + water = winter. kinda lame. but... nvm. i thought it was kinda cool, just me.

Jokes as usual! :)

~
"It was just simple misunderstanding, your Honour," testified the man charged with indecent exposure.

"Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge.

"Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman -- so I showed her.

~
The day adter a man lost his wife in a boating accident, two grim-faced policemen greeted him at his door.

"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr Wilkens, but we have some infomation about your wife."

"Well, tell me!" the man said.

The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good nes and some really good news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay."

"Oh my god!" said My Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"

"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeness crabs on her."

"If that's the good news then what's the great news?!" Mr. Wilkens demanded.

The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning."

~
After a wild freeway chase, the motorcycle cop waved the speeding sports car over to the curb. When he walked up to the driver's window, he was surprised to find a very attractive blonde behind the wheel.

"Ma'am," he said, "I'm afraid we're going to have to give you a Breathalyzer."

"A breathalyzer?" said the blonde. "What's that?"

"Well, you blow into this device," explained the officer, "and it tests your breath to see whether or not you've been drinking."

The test was taken and as the officer eyed the results, he said,

"Lady, you've had a couple of stiff ones."

"That's amazing!" the girl cried. "You mean it shows that too!"

~
A medical professor was lecturing about self-examination of the breast and testicles. A female student asked another male student,

"Do you ever get an erection when you do a self-examinatino of your testicles?"

"Sometimes, yes" replied the male student.

"What do you do about it?" She then asked.

"Nothing, why?"

She thought for a while then said, "You mean you go around with a hard penis all day?"

"Err, no" he replied.

"You mean a man's penis will go down without having an orgasm?"

"Of course."

"I'm going to kill my husband!"

~
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. After performing a thorough examination and running multiple tests, the doctor comes out with the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news, " says the doctor, "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" sats the man, "How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? Ten what?"

"Nine..."

~
Feeling stressed out?

Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are softly chirping in the crisp cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here.

No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear and you cane easily make out the face of the eprson whose head you're holding under the water.

Look. It's the eprson who caused you all this stress.

What a pleasant surprise.

You let them up... just for a quick breath... then plop!... back under they go...

You allow yourself as many deep breaths as you want.

There now... feeling better?

I know I do.

~
A guy goes into a public washroom and has to use the only available urinal, between two elderly men.

He glances to his left and sees the guy pissing, but there are two streams.

"What the hell is that?" he asks.

"War wound. I took a bullet in the penis in North Africa. They were able to save my dick but they had to leave two holes."

Then the guy looks to his right and sees three streams !!!

"What the hell is that?"

"War wound. Germany, bullet in the penis, left three holes."

The two veterans then look over at the guy in the middle and see 12 streams!!

"War wound??"

"Naah, my zipper's stuck."


Well, there's all for now. Should really find something to do at home....
feeling so no life... working the moment i woke up, ending work at 10pm...
i have to turn to throwing crushed paper into dustbins to destress late at work...
i even went to the extent of wrapping up paper over paper and tapping them up..
geez, no life. haha...

will make some changes real soon...
it's like waiting for something that will never come...
surprising how words and short messages can get me so dull over them.
why bother to ask? when you always know the answer...
not even a single strand of light ray can be seen, why do i still hope that my view is constricted?

haha... lousy life now...
work, when are you going to end?
life, how certain are you for me?
you, who really are you?

till the next time~
trying to change blog skin. getting bored with this all the time.

1st post here~!

Hopefully i will be able to update this blog regularly as i used to.. -_- haha.. well, this will be mostly about short paragraphs as below. So sit back and enjoy~

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach. Locking his steely gray eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft murmurs of assurance.

He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly released her from her constraining attire. With a sigh of surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh. He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldy taking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his movement deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need.

Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that had gone unfulfulled for so long.
And, just as it seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too big! - it will never fit!" Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made only for her. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes. And he knew it wouldn't be long before she returned. Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She would want to do it again and again and again..........

Don't ya just love shopping for shoes! =)